EliteXC A Success According to Preliminary Ratings; Enraged Dana White Has Four Zuffa Employees Killed

In the wake of the release of preliminary ratings for EliteXC/CBS' "Saturday Night Fights", which point to the first-ever primetime network TV MMA show as a resounding success, MMA Journalist has learned that UFC Tribal Leader Dana White - acting in a fit of rage - ordered the deaths of four random Zuffa employees. The identities of the employees are not yet known, although sources indicate two were beheaded, one was strangled and one was repeatedely run down and backed over by White's official UFC Hummer. Stay tuned for more as the story develops.