Nick Diaz Too Stoned To Take Pre-Fight Drug Test, Inadvertantly Urinates Into Bong

Nick Diaz was reportedly too stoned to be able to take a California State Athletic Commission-mandated pre-fight drug screening on Friday, with the welterweight star inadvertently urinating into a bong and attempting to hand CSAC representatives that as his sample. The urine collection procedure, which must take place in the presence of a commission inspector and go into a sterile plastic cup, has been rescheduled for today, but Diaz's actions have cast doubt on whether his promised match-up against Jay Hieron for Saturday's Strikeforce: "Carano vs. Cyborg" may actually happen. When asked to comment, the Gracie-trained fighter said, "Dude, I... wait, what?"

Observations From My Couch: WEC 42

• Leonard Garcia was choked so hard by Jameel Massouh, the former drug mule puked up two cocaine-filled balloons (which had to be cleaned up by the WEC ring janitor in between rounds). The dude's a badass for surviving and pulling out the win after that.
• Jeff Curran just cannot catch a break. Is there no room in this sport for our storied veterans and pioneers?
• The best thing about two wrestlers engaging in a striking contest is that, when one gets hit like Ricardo Lamas did, they get messed up big time.
• Joseph Benavidez got handled. Plain and simple.
• Brian Bowles knocked out Miguel Torres? No! Mullet power never die!

Observations From My Couch: UFC 101

• Kurt Pellegrino earned a solid win over a decent opponent in Josh Neer, and "Batman" managed to do it without using his air-powered grappling-hook gun, his forearm brace that shoots throwing stars, or any of the other nifty inventions the Dark Knight often employs.
• I love Ricardo Almeida and believe he's an icon, but against Kendall Grove the man was a human hug-machine and blanket. I miss the smooth submission master.
• Maybe Amir Sadollah's bout was stopped too soon, maybe it wasn't. Either way, he needs to learn to intelligently defend himself at all times.
• Aaron Riley vs. Shane Nelson was like a man fighting a boy. Nelson needs to hit puberty fast if wants to be competitive against the other lightweights.
• Anderson Silva didn't just defeat Forrest Griffin, he owned him. Griffin is now Silva's manservant and must do his new master's bidding without question.
• Regardless of whatever happens at welterweight, BJ Penn is the absolute king of the lightweights. Who can possibly challenge him? Diego Sanchez? Frankie Edgar? Gray Maynard? Maybe if they all fought him at once...