Friday, September 10, 2010
Liveblog: UCC 3 Part 5
Luiz Azeredo is up, he's the man of the hour.
He fought in Pride Bushido - will Brandon Adamson cower?
Doubtful, since Adamson hails from the tough team Miletich.
Like Nick Diaz likes to say, he sure ain't no bitch.
But Azeredo's grappling and jiu-jitsu's top notch.
Adamson may have been better off staying home sipping scotch.
Ooh, a submission! Azeredo forces a tap.
Adamson had to give up or else he would nap.
I hope you enjoyed this liveblog in verse.
God, I have so much talent it's really a curse.
But if instead you chose to give this blog a pass,
Well fine, I don't need you. You can kiss my Native American ass.
He fought in Pride Bushido - will Brandon Adamson cower?
Doubtful, since Adamson hails from the tough team Miletich.
Like Nick Diaz likes to say, he sure ain't no bitch.
But Azeredo's grappling and jiu-jitsu's top notch.
Adamson may have been better off staying home sipping scotch.
Ooh, a submission! Azeredo forces a tap.
Adamson had to give up or else he would nap.
I hope you enjoyed this liveblog in verse.
God, I have so much talent it's really a curse.
But if instead you chose to give this blog a pass,
Well fine, I don't need you. You can kiss my Native American ass.
Liveblog: UCC 3 Part 4
Kevin Horowitz reps Team Rhino, he's part killer, part beast.
I wish he'd fight more. He could be one of the best in the Northeast.
Horowitz is fighting a man named Ryan Quinn.
I know zilch about Ryan so I'm picking Kevin to win.
Quinn gets the takedown and starts beating Kevin's face.
There's blood on the canvas and all over the place.
Ryan is good, there's no questioning that.
He-Man's pet tiger was called "Battle Cat".
The bloodbath continues straight into Round 2.
The doc's seen enough, he says Kevin is through.
Quinn is a badass, of that there's no doubt.
Horowitz wasn't good enough, he was lacking in clout.
Don't get me wrong, Kevin's got monstrous skills.
But tonight Quinn gets the win bonus. He's paying his bills.
Jason McLean is up - he could wrestle you all day.
Felipe Arantes is a striker, he really likes Ben-Gay.
Arantes reps Gold Team. You know, those boys from Brazil
who now live in Newark on a mission to kill.
McLean goes Mortal Kombat and rips out Arantes' spine.
Ha! I'm just kidding! There's no move of that kind.
They strike and they grapple like squirrels on cheap crystal meth.
By the end of the round they're both out of breath.
In Round 2 Arantes' kicks start finding their range.
My neighbor's pet daschund once came down with mange.
Round 3 Arantes switches, starts nailing takedowns.
McLean is in trouble, will he call off the hounds?
No he won't, he'll keep swinging, aiming right for Arantes' head.
There's no quit in the American, he'll keep going 'til he's dead.
It goes to the judges after three hard-fought rounds.
And who are these judges? I assure you, they're not clowns.
There's Will Mason (son of Perry) and Dave Tirelli from TSMMA.
Plus the eccentric Doug Crosby (he loves Frankie Edgar, they say).
They tally the scorecards using brains keen and bright. Arantes gets the decision. Yes, they got that right.
I wish he'd fight more. He could be one of the best in the Northeast.
Horowitz is fighting a man named Ryan Quinn.
I know zilch about Ryan so I'm picking Kevin to win.
Quinn gets the takedown and starts beating Kevin's face.
There's blood on the canvas and all over the place.
Ryan is good, there's no questioning that.
He-Man's pet tiger was called "Battle Cat".
The bloodbath continues straight into Round 2.
The doc's seen enough, he says Kevin is through.
Quinn is a badass, of that there's no doubt.
Horowitz wasn't good enough, he was lacking in clout.
Don't get me wrong, Kevin's got monstrous skills.
But tonight Quinn gets the win bonus. He's paying his bills.
Jason McLean is up - he could wrestle you all day.
Felipe Arantes is a striker, he really likes Ben-Gay.
Arantes reps Gold Team. You know, those boys from Brazil
who now live in Newark on a mission to kill.
McLean goes Mortal Kombat and rips out Arantes' spine.
Ha! I'm just kidding! There's no move of that kind.
They strike and they grapple like squirrels on cheap crystal meth.
By the end of the round they're both out of breath.
In Round 2 Arantes' kicks start finding their range.
My neighbor's pet daschund once came down with mange.
Round 3 Arantes switches, starts nailing takedowns.
McLean is in trouble, will he call off the hounds?
No he won't, he'll keep swinging, aiming right for Arantes' head.
There's no quit in the American, he'll keep going 'til he's dead.
It goes to the judges after three hard-fought rounds.
And who are these judges? I assure you, they're not clowns.
There's Will Mason (son of Perry) and Dave Tirelli from TSMMA.
Plus the eccentric Doug Crosby (he loves Frankie Edgar, they say).
They tally the scorecards using brains keen and bright. Arantes gets the decision. Yes, they got that right.
Liveblog: UCC 3 Part 3
Daniel Akinyemi is up, a vet of the Iron Ring.
His day job is paramedic, but in a fight he is king.
He can kick, he can punch, he's a beast on the mat.
We'll see if Rich Bianchi has trouble with that.
Bianchi goes down ugly. Good Lord, is he dead?
I can't see from this angle (plus there's a glare from ref Big Dan Miragliotta's bald head).
Oh yeah, it's over. Bianchi's bloody on the floor.
Akinyemi via TKO - and he looks ready for more.
Akinyemi is tough, and that ain't no jive.
He's a bad motherfucker at 185.
In the cage is Cliff Wattenberg, Dan Sensintaffar's his foe,
two welterweight newcomers whose skills I don't know.
The battle soon rages, first forth and then back.
If these two get tired, I will cut them some slack.
They're going at it hard like two warriors should.
I mean, it's not like they're scrubs. They're actually quite good.
Round 2 and Sensitaffar gets quickly taken down.
Wattenberg's game plan is to pound and then pound.
But Sensitaffar ain't playing, and on the feet he lands a hook.
Wattenberg is cut and bleeding, the docs need just one look.
It's over, a stoppage, Sensintaffar's the man.
Back to drawing board for Wattenberg, he needs a new plan.
His day job is paramedic, but in a fight he is king.
He can kick, he can punch, he's a beast on the mat.
We'll see if Rich Bianchi has trouble with that.
Bianchi goes down ugly. Good Lord, is he dead?
I can't see from this angle (plus there's a glare from ref Big Dan Miragliotta's bald head).
Oh yeah, it's over. Bianchi's bloody on the floor.
Akinyemi via TKO - and he looks ready for more.
Akinyemi is tough, and that ain't no jive.
He's a bad motherfucker at 185.
In the cage is Cliff Wattenberg, Dan Sensintaffar's his foe,
two welterweight newcomers whose skills I don't know.
The battle soon rages, first forth and then back.
If these two get tired, I will cut them some slack.
They're going at it hard like two warriors should.
I mean, it's not like they're scrubs. They're actually quite good.
Round 2 and Sensitaffar gets quickly taken down.
Wattenberg's game plan is to pound and then pound.
But Sensitaffar ain't playing, and on the feet he lands a hook.
Wattenberg is cut and bleeding, the docs need just one look.
It's over, a stoppage, Sensintaffar's the man.
Back to drawing board for Wattenberg, he needs a new plan.
Liveblog: UCC 3 Part 2
Claudio Ledesma is a little guy who can punch.
A body blow from him means you're losing your lunch.
Adam Schortz's last name describes an article of clothes.
But if you make fun of this bantanweight, he will punch you in the nose.
The carnage is sudden, the bloodshed is fast.
In the blink of an eye Ledesma's kicking Schortz's ass.
The ref's seen enough, he'll take no part in the slaughter.
It's not like Schortz has slept with his daughter.
Ledesma's the victor and his face wears a grin.
He fought hard and strong, and came away with the win.
Doug Miller's in the cage now, Rich Van Houton's there too,
A pair of mean featherweights with something to prove.
Van Houton gets a slam and he ends up on top.
The crowd goes wild - in pro wrestling parlance, that's a "pop".
But Miller rallies back, and lengthens the fight.
He won't go down easy, he wants to win on this night.
The ending is brutal, violent and quick.
Dr. Wurmser whispers to Nick Lembo, "Ugh, I think I'm gonna be sick."
Van Houton's too much, his fists are like stone.
Miller crumbles. This bout is done.
A body blow from him means you're losing your lunch.
Adam Schortz's last name describes an article of clothes.
But if you make fun of this bantanweight, he will punch you in the nose.
The carnage is sudden, the bloodshed is fast.
In the blink of an eye Ledesma's kicking Schortz's ass.
The ref's seen enough, he'll take no part in the slaughter.
It's not like Schortz has slept with his daughter.
Ledesma's the victor and his face wears a grin.
He fought hard and strong, and came away with the win.
Doug Miller's in the cage now, Rich Van Houton's there too,
A pair of mean featherweights with something to prove.
Van Houton gets a slam and he ends up on top.
The crowd goes wild - in pro wrestling parlance, that's a "pop".
But Miller rallies back, and lengthens the fight.
He won't go down easy, he wants to win on this night.
The ending is brutal, violent and quick.
Dr. Wurmser whispers to Nick Lembo, "Ugh, I think I'm gonna be sick."
Van Houton's too much, his fists are like stone.
Miller crumbles. This bout is done.
Liveblog: UCC 3 Part 1
The Urban Conflict Championship, Jersey City, Friday night.
Walking from the PATH train to the venue can give you a fright.
But MMA Journalist braved it and he did it for you.
Covering fight shows in New York and New Jersey, yeah, that's what I do.
"Wait," you may say, "This blog, it does rhyme."
"You're smart," I will tell you, "although not all the time."
You see, there's so many blogs out there - what sets this one apart?
Well, I cover MMA and my work is like art.
So hold on to your hats for event coverage like no other.
Badass UCC reporting in verse? Look no further my brother.
Walking from the PATH train to the venue can give you a fright.
But MMA Journalist braved it and he did it for you.
Covering fight shows in New York and New Jersey, yeah, that's what I do.
"Wait," you may say, "This blog, it does rhyme."
"You're smart," I will tell you, "although not all the time."
You see, there's so many blogs out there - what sets this one apart?
Well, I cover MMA and my work is like art.
So hold on to your hats for event coverage like no other.
Badass UCC reporting in verse? Look no further my brother.
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