UCL/Empire State Warrior Challenge Crossover?

According to the UCL's official twitter (www.twitter.com/savevaletudo), there may be a possible underground show crossover on the horizon, specifically, Team UCL vs. Team Empire State Warrior Challenge at a location in Upstate New York.  In case you don't know, ESWC is a long-running promotion that caters to those aspiring fighters north of NYC.  MMA Journalist loathes traveling to Upstate New York - Bigfoot is rumored to live up there, after all - but this is an event I'd just have to go to to liveblog.  Hopefully it pans out.

A Review of "Why I Fight: The Belt Is Just An Accessory" by BJ Penn with David Weintraub

BJ Penn's autobiography - titled "Why I Fight: The Belt is Just an Accessory", co-authored by David Weintraub and currently rocking the number 22 spot on the New York Times Best Seller List for hardcover nonfiction - is pretty decent. And I stress the word "decent". Though far better than what Matt Hughes put to paper, the prose won't exactly knock your socks off. However, if you're looking for insight on what Penn's life was like growing up, how he took to Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and the details surrounding each of his MMA bouts (the book covers everything up to and including his fight with Kenny Florian), then it's a worthwhile read. Also, if you want some snapshots of Dana White's interactions with the Hawaiian fighting legend - unfavorable snapshots - well, "Why I Fight" gives up the goods on all that sordid stuff. Ranking all the MMA books on the shelves, "Blood in the Cage" by L. Jon Wertheim still sits at number one, but Penn's book is a firm number two. Check it out. Or don't. I don't care.

Mitch the Intern's TUF 11 Recap: Episode 5

*Editor's note: Mitch the Intern is an NYU undergrad whose favorite Wednesday night pastime includes the TV in his dorm room, a green beanbag chair and two hits of acid.  Enjoy.*

Can gangsters fight?  From such classics as "The Godfather", "Goodfellas", "Casino" and "Finding Nemo", we know that they can intimidate and assassinate pretty well, but we've never known much about their actual ability when it's time for a bit of the old one-on-one ultra-violence.  Well, thanks to British organized crime figure Ronnie Kray, who ruled 1960s London with an iron fist and who's struggling to make a name for himself in the world of homoerotic MMA reality shows, we now have an answer.  But first…

The wildcard fight!  Let's all talk about it!  Gather around, kids, and listen to a tale of two fighters, a duo comprised of "loss" and "fail" who got their asses kicked en route to the TUF finale but were given a second chance because… because… because why?  Is it that the TUF formula has gotten so stale that these little twists are thrown in to spice up what would otherwise be a soup made up of nothing but water from the garden hose?  Is it that TUF's advertisers are wavering, not quite sure that those 30-second commercial blocks may be worth it because really, how many viewers are going to tune in when Kimbo's not on the show?  Is it that releasing a dozen rabid weasels into the house while the contestants are sleeping is simply an idea the production's insurance company just cannot get behind?  Whatever the reason, two fighters who lost in the quarterfinals will get a second chance.  Will it be Dumb as a Bag of Hammers, who lost to Hawaii Five-O in the trivia round?  Will it be RC Cola, who's had 100 fights in his career and lost 70 of them?  Well, it sure ain't going to be Rich Atonofneato, who broke his prosciutto when he fought, and it damn sure ain't going to be Fruit Striped Gum.  Speaking of which…

Fade in to a fighter lying in bed.  Moaning.  Bandaged.  Clearly messed up.  With his shock of green hair, we realize it's Fruit Striped Gum.  "I went to the doctor yesterday and he operated on me for three hours," and with his arm in a sling, a bandage on his shoulder, and a patchwork of stitching all over his body, we believe him.  Apparently he really was injured in his fight, as the doctor removed his spleen and gall bladder, performed a vasectomy, reattached his right shoulder and sewed a cantankerous old man's head onto his left shoulder.  "You son of bitch," utters the cantankerous old man head.

It's time to choose the next fight, and with Cypress Hill's TKO win over some anonymous someone, coach Tito Ortiz has the ball.  The Giant-Headed One picks Brit gangster Ronnie Kray to face an unassuming kid named Josh.  How unassuming is Josh?  Says coach Chuck Liddell, "Wait, that kid was on my team?  I thought he was a janitor?"  Adds trainer John Hackleberry Finn, "I agree with whatever Chuck says.  Even if it's gibberish."

Training montage, and Ortiz is making his wards work hard with push-ups while on fire and sit-ups while trapped under a bus.  "I don't know if all this intense training is the smartest thing when someone has a fight coming up," says RC Cola, who's fought about 100 times and lost 70 of them.  Uh, dude, if you're saying that, then it must be a brilliant idea.

Also around this time, Ortiz makes a point of apologizing to Fruit Striped Gum.  "I gave you crap because I thought you were faking your injuries, but I can see now that I was wrong, so I'm sorry," says Ortiz.

"You son of bitch," says the cantankerous old man head sewn onto sewn onto Fruit Striped Gum's left shoulder.

And then it's fight time, and in typical Liddell fashion, Mr. I Can't Dance Better Than Donnie Osmond has taken a flight to Japan in the mistaken belief that Ronnie Kray's TUF quarterfinal bout was happening there.  Consequently, he misses the bout.

Also missing: Ronnie Kray's cardio.  Round 1 goes well for him and poorly for Josh, with the Brit gangster muscling his opponent all over the cage and shaking him down like he's an East End shopkeeper.  But the wheels come off the double-decker bus in Round 2, and in Round 3 it's all about the one kid that no one noticed picking apart a life-long criminal both on the feet and on the ground.  Josh takes the decision, and we have our answer: no, gangsters can't fight.

"You son of bitch," cries the cantankerous old man head.

"MMA in NY Still Possible for 2010" Says Writer Who Somehow Forgot About The 60+ NY Shows Thus Far

According to MMAPayout, there's still a chance folks in the Empire State could somehow see some mixed martial arts before the year is out - a declaration that overlooks the fact that there have been over 60 unsanctioned but well-recognized MMA events in the state within the last ten years alone.  In the article "MMA in New York Still Possible for 2010" (http://mmapayout.com/2010/04/mma-in-new-york-still-possible-for-2010/), much is made of a recent Wall Street Journal article that examines the status of Governor David Paterson's budget proposal, a proposal that includes a provision that would allow the state to sanction professional  mixed martial arts.  However, what both the Wall Street Journal article and MMAPayout seem to forget is the 20 Underground Combat Leagues shows (where UFC champ Frankie Edgar got his start), the 14 Vengeance at the Vanderbilts (of which Matt Serra, Pete Sell and Phil Baroni are veterans), the five Empire State Warriors Challenges, the five Clash in the Cages, the three International Fight Nights, the four Martial Arts Madness's, the one Battle on Broadway and Aggressive Shoot Championship, and the eight or so events that have taken place on Indian Reservations in Upstate New York.  Have any of these shows been grand affairs to rival what the UFC/WEC/Strikeforce may bring to Madison Square Garden?  No, but they sure as hell count as MMA events.  (For a trip down memory lane, go here: http://mmajournalist.blogspot.com/2009/07/brief-history-of-underground-shows-in.html).

WEC 48 Payouts Revealed; Fighters Literally Make Peanuts

The California State Athletic Commission released the official payout numbers for those who competed on Saturday night's WEC 48: "Aldo vs. Faber" pay-per-view extravaganza, and to the surprise of many, it was revealed that the organization's fighters literally make peanuts. Topping the salary list was featherweight champ and pound-for-pound superstar Jose Aldo, who earned a whopping six bushels of peanuts, while promotional newcomer Chan Sung Jung - a.k.a. the "Korean Zombie", who went the distance with Leonard Garcia in a preliminary bout that aired live on SpikeTV - took in a single jar of generic peanut butter. "You won't hear me complaining," said former champ Mike Brown from his bed in a homeless shelter in Dade County, Florida. "A bushel is about 35 pounds, and I was given two of them even though I was knocked out by Manny Gamburyan. Do you know what you can trade 70 pounds of peanuts for? Smokes, clean socks, old Time magazines... you name it."

Controversial Judge Douglas Crosby Awards Jenna Jameson All Three Rounds

Controversy has once again reared its ugly head, this time with the news that, in a bout between Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz that occurred earlier in the day at the pair's Huntington Beach residence, the much-maligned cageside judge Douglas Crosby scored all three rounds in favor of the ex-pornstar. According to reports, the bout was so one-sided in Ortiz's favor that the Huntington Beach Police Department was called ("It wasn't even close," said a source), and the former UFC light-heavyweight champ was subsequently arrested. Nevertheless, Crosby - who took flack for scoring UFC 112's BJ Penn/Frankie Edgar tilt as 50-45 in Edgar's favor - saw Jameson as the winner over Ortiz 30-27. Said Crosby on a popular MMA message board, "It is a judge's obligation to interpret the fight and use the criteria as guidelines. But a fight is an observed event that does require interpretation, observation, wisdom. And, in my considered opinion, Jameson dictated the tone of the fight, successfully implemented and executed a strategy, landed better strikes, and basically outworked Ortiz." Given the hot water Crosby had already found himself in, his actions today could very well jeopardize whether he judges a domestic dispute ever again.

Observations from My Couch: WEC 48 "The Phantom Show"

• Yeah, yeah, I get that there couldn’t have been any mention of the WEC because of two different Zuffa brands having homes on two different networks.  But still, it felt like a George Orwell novel with Big Brother rewriting history, even if the show itself was doubleplusgood.
• Alex Karalexis has always been “meh”.  But thus far, Anthony Pettis has looked pretty “eh”.
• Chan Sung Jung and Leonard Garcia fought so hard in such an entertaining back-and-forth battle, they both should’ve been declared “The Ultimate Fighter” and awarded UFC contracts.
• Chan Sung Jung – wow!
• It was disappointing to see Antonio Banuelos lose, especially because now he must go back to life as a bandit who robs stagecoaches along the road outside of Santa Fe.
• Anthony Njokuani should really learn some grappling.  Just a thought.
• Anthony Morrison is tough, but I’m still not sold on Chad Mendes. 
• “Bad” Brad Pickett is one bad mofo for winning with a busted collarbone.  But where the hell did a Brit learn to wrestle like that?
• Props to Manny Gamburyan for the win, but that was not the same Mike Brown that took out Urijah Faber twice.  Not the same fighter at all.
• Damn, was Ben Henderson vs. Don Cerrone a non-event or what?  I was expecting fireworks.  Instead, we got a road flare.
• It was so painful watching Jose Aldo slowly amputate Faber’s leg that I was walking with a limp all day yesterday.

A Word About the UFC's Potential Afghanistan Show

It's being reported that the UFC's potential foray into Afghanistan (obviously a pretty hot warzone right now) might involve a high degree of danger for the members of the intrepid MMA promotion. To add a little color to that, MMA Journalist reached out to one of his buddies in the US Army Special Forces. Sergeant First Class "CM" is a Green Beret who's done a tour in Afghanistan, a tour in Iraq, returned to Iraq as a "civilian contractor" and will be returning to Afghanistan with his team later this year. His response when I asked him if Dana White and company are "going to get blowed up": "The chances are about zero. The bases are totally secure, multiple rings of security, locals are searched completely. They're like miniature cities. If you're on one, it doesn't even seem like you're in a combat zone, what with all the Wendy's, Pizza Huts, coffee shops, etc." In other words, unless Zuffa's setting up the Octagon at a forward observation base deep in Indian country, chances are everyone will be okay.

WEC 48: "Aldo vs. Faber" Fun Facts

Tomorrow night the WEC makes the leap from the Versus channel on premium cable to the realm of pay-per-view. Yes, pay-per-view, where money is either made or lost and a promotion finds out if it was a mistake signing Fedor to that million dollar contract. Well, the WEC doesn't have Fedor's price tag to worry about, so there's a possibility it may do okay. Anyway, here's some fun facts that I bet you didn't know!

• It's widely believed that reigning featherweight champ Jose Aldo is Brazilian, but that's a misconception. He's actually from Staten Island. We can't understand him because his "Guido" accent is so thick.
• Urijah Faber is descended from a species of aggressive rodent that dates back to the prehistoric era.
• In his spare time, Mike Brown likes to domestic alligators at his Florida home. The number of alligators he's successfully domesticated? Zero out of twenty attempts.
• Donald Cerrone's nickname may be "Cowboy", but he hates country music.
• Lightweight champ Ben Henderson is Dan Henderson's kid from a previous marriage.
• Anthony Njokuani's last name is actually a shorted version. It was originally Njokuanisngklsejgnbsluenei%2)8s2kii$@.
• A WEC pay-per-view has less calories than a normal UFC pay-per-view, but it still has that same great Zuffa taste.

April 2010 Women's Independent World MMA Rankings

The April 2010 Women's Independent World MMA Rankings have been released. These rankings are independent of any single MMA media outlet or sanctioning body, and are published on multiple web sites, as well as http://www.independentworldmmarankings.com/.

Much like the Men's Independent World MMA Rankings, which were launched inJune, 2009, the Women's Independent World MMA Rankings are based purely on the votes of the members of the voting panel, with nobody's vote counting more than anybody else's vote, and no computerized voting.

In the time since last month's rankings were published, the heads of two of the largest athletic commissions have clarified via e-mail that they use the same names for the weight classes in both men's MMA and women's MMA. For example, 145 pounds is featherweight, whether it's
in men's MMA or women's MMA.

The members of the voting panel for the Women's Independent World MMA Rankings are, in alphabetical order: Nicholas Bailey (MMA Ratings); Jim Genia (Full Contact Fighter, MMA Memories, and MMA Journalist Blog); Yael Grauer (MMA HQ); Jesse Holland (MMA Mania); Robert Joyner (Freelance); Zac Robinson (Sports by the Numbers MMA); Leland Roling (Bloody Elbow); Michael David Smith (AOL Fanhouse); Joshua Stein (MMA Opinion); and Ivan Trembow (Freelance).

April 2010 Women's Independent World MMA Rankings
Ballots collected on April 20, 2010

Featherweight Rankings (136 to 145 lbs.)
1. Cristiane "Cyborg" Santos (9-1)
2. Erin Toughill (10-2-1)
3. Marloes Coenen (17-4)
4. Gina Carano (7-1)
5. Yuko "Hiroko" Yamanaka (8-1-1)
6. Cindy Dandois (3-0)
7. Shana Olsen (3-0)
8. Amanda Nunes (5-1)
9. Jamie Seaton (2-1)
10. Emily Thompson (3-2)

Bantamweight Rankings (126 to 135 lbs.)
1. Sarah Kaufman (11-0)
2. Tara LaRosa (18-1)
3. Roxanne Modafferi (14-5)
4. Hitomi Akano (15-7)
5. Takayo Hashi (12-2)
6. Shayna Baszler (11-6)
7. Miesha Tate (9-2)
8. Vanessa Porto (10-4)
9. Jennifer Tate (6-1)
10. Adrienna "AJ" Jenkins (17-3)

Flyweight Rankings (116 to 125 lbs.)
1. Rosi Sexton (10-1)
2. Tara LaRosa (18-1)
3. Aisling Daly (9-0)
4. Sally Krumdiack (7-3)
5. Rin Nakai (6-0)
6. Lena Ovchynnikova (6-0)
7. Monica Lovato (4-1)
8. Mutsumi Kasai (4-1)
9. Jeri Sitzes (3-1)
10. Anita Rodriguez (3-1)

Junior Flyweight Rankings (106 to 115 lbs.)
1. Megumi Fujii (19-0)
2. Yuka Tsuji (22-2)
3. Lisa Ward (12-5)
4. Mei "V Hajime" Yamaguchi (6-2)
5. Jessica Pene (7-0)
6. Kyoko Takabayashi (11-4)
7. Jessica Aguilar (7-3)
8. Angela Magana (8-4)
9. Saori Ishioka (8-4)
10. Elena Reid (4-1)

The Women's Independent World MMA Rankings are tabulated and published on a monthly basis, with fighters receiving ten points for a first-place vote, nine points for a second-place vote, and so on.

The voters are instructed to vote primarily based on fighters' actual accomplishments in the cage/ring (the quality of opposition that they've actually beaten), not based on a broad, subjective perception of which fighters would theoretically win hypothetical match-ups.

Inactivity: Fighters who have not fought in the past 12 months are not eligible to be ranked, and will regain their eligibility the next time they fight.

Disciplinary Suspensions: Fighters who are currently serving disciplinary suspensions, or who have been denied a license for drug test or disciplinary reasons, are not eligible to be ranked.

Changing Weight Classes: When a fighter announces that she is leaving one weight class in order to fight in another weight class, the fighter is not eligible to be ranked in the new weight class until her first fight in the new weight class has taken place.

Catch Weight Fights: When fights are contested at weights that are in between the limits of the various weight classes, they are considered to be in the higher weight class. The weight limits for each weight class are listed at the top of the rankings for each weight class.

Special thanks to Eric Kamander, Joshua Stein and Yael Grauer for their invaluable help with this project, and special thanks to Garrett Bailey for designing our logo.

Mitch the Intern's TUF 11 Recap: Episode 4

*Editor's note: Mitch the Intern is an NYU undergrad whose favorite Wednesday night pastime includes the TV in his dorm room, a green beanbag chair and two hits of acid.  Enjoy.*

Fade in to the tail-end of the Hawaii Five-O/Dumb as a Bag of Hammers fight, and to the cast mates cheering from the sidelines.  Cypress Hill, a full-on member of Tito Ortiz's Team Over-Sized Cranium, is rooting for Hawaii Five-O, who is a member of Chuck Liddell's Team Brain Damage.  Joe Feminine, who calls Ortiz coach as well, takes great umbrage at that, and afterwards he confronts the giant-haired fighter over the transgression.

"You don't root for someone on the other team," says Joe Feminine, sounding utterly and completely ghey (pronounced "oooohhhhh, miss thang!").

"Who you trying to get crazy with, esse?  Don't you know I'm loco?" replies Cypress Hill.  And just like that, the matter seems resolved.

Back at the TUF House, Cypress Hill has gathered with his friends Hawaii Five-O, Ronnie Kray and Crocodile Dundee to pass around a bong and discuss how awesome the Steven Spielberg sci-fi film "Minority Report" was, and especially how it was the perfect vehicle for Tom Cruise to display his acting chops.

"Yo, it totally deserved that Academy Award for 'Best Sound Editing'," says Ronnie Kray.

They all nod in agreement.

But all is not in agreement in the house as a whole.  RC Cola despises Cypress Hill, and after finding one of his coveted shirts in the Latino rapper's room, he goes ballistic.  "You're a thief!" RC Cola exclaims.

"Uh, I mistakenly put your shirt there," admits Ronnie Kray.

Undaunted by reality, RC Cola continues with his vitriol toward Cypress Hill.  "You're a thief!"

Back at the TUF Training Center and coach Ortiz sits amongst his wards, playing the role of mediator.

"He's a thief!" says RC Cola, pointing at Cypress Hill.  "He stole my shirt."

"But it's already been established that someone else took your shirt," says Ortiz plainly.

"I don't care!" replies RC Cola.  "He's still a thief!"

Ortiz shakes his massive head and sighs, resigned to the fact that things like "reason", "logic" and "common sense" are prohibited by the standard TUF/SpikeTV contract.

It's fight announcement time, and as Liddell's team has been racking up the wins, the Mohawked One gets to choose again.  He picks Rich Atonofneato (pronounced "a ton of neat-o").  That's it.  Just Rich Atonofneato.  After about 20 minutes of back and forth, with Dana White explaining that a fighter can't just fight himself and trainer John Hackleberry Finn going along with whatever Liddell says, Liddell finally choose RC Cola to face Rich Atonofneato.

Training montage time.  Rich Atonofneato pretends to hump a heavy bag, then he goes over every Italian-themed nickname he's ever had ("Richie the Guido", "Richie from the Shore", "Richie East Lasagna", "Richie Talks with an Accent", "Richie Might Be Italian", etc…).  Meanwhile, RC Cola grapples, spars, talks about his family. 

"He's going to try to wrestle you," Ortiz says to RC Cola.  "So when he gets you down, get back up and punch him."

Fight time, and Rich Atonofneato does the exact opposite of wrestle.  Boom! goes the big Italian sub upside RC Cola's head, and what follows invokes images of a man pounding on a human-sized dollop of pizza dough.  But the pizza dough recovers!  And manages to get on top with a kimura!  Rich Atonofneato starts to rise, and RC Cola - apparently confused and thinking he's fighting in Pride - delivers a pair of illegal knees to his downed opponent's head.  Rich Atonofneato is messed up and leaking balsamic vinegar and olive oil everywhere.  The referee calls the bout, declaring the fallen fighter the winner by disqualification.

Coach Ortiz doesn't like this, and when the flimsy wooded door to the locker room gives him guff, he smashes it.

Later on at the TUF House, Rich Atonofneato returns from the hospital with his hand in a cast.  His paw is so busted up it's going to require surgery.  Thus endeth his run on TUF 11.

But wait, there's more!

Another fight is announced, with Liddell (miraculously) picking one of his fighters - a generic one with no distinguishing features or personality - to face Cypress Hill.

Says Generic Fighter, "I really feel that-"

And the camera switches to Cypress Hill, shadow boxing, flexing, rolling himself a joint and monitoring the UV light and nutrient levels in the water of his little hydroponic "farm".  "Sawed off shotgun, hand on the pump, left hand on the forty, puffin' on a blunt!" he says.

Then they're fighting, and Cypress Hill quickly lands a fist full of dynamite to Generic Fighter's face that sends him tumbling.  Generic Fighter is done, Donesville (population: him), and the dude is out the door and off camera before you can even say "I ain't going out like that, I ain't going out like that."

With that, Team Ortiz has its very first win.

UWC to Return on May 22; Virginia Commission Declares Mike Easton the Winner by Unanimous Decision

The Ultimate Warrior Challenge, which made waves as the pre-eminent Washington, DC-area fight show, has announced that it will be returning to the Patriot Center in Northern Virginia for UWC 8: "Judgment Day", which will feature local star Mike Easton taking on Ryan Diaz.  Consequently, the Virginia Boxing and Wrestling Commission has announced that Easton will be the winner by unanimous decision.  Said Commission spokesman David Amsterdam, "Look, we got a lot of grief over that Mike Easton/Chase Beebe debacle at the last UWC.  But there's a learning curve and I believe we've got the hang of this MMA judging thing.  We've come to the conclusion that if we release the official decisions for the May 22 event now, there won't be any nasty surprises on the night of the show."  Ultimate Warrior Challenge 8 will also see John Dodson taking on Jessie Riggleman, but the Commission was mum on that one as it will end via submission.