Predictions for UFC 107: "Ultimate Oh My God BJ Killed Him!"

I don't blame the UFC. After all, they do have contractual obligations to fill and BJ Penn does have to eat. It's just sad, though, that Diego Sanchez - an otherwise tough dude with a ton of skill - is the one being fed to the Hawaiian lightweight champ like a cheap quesadilla. Anyway, Penn vs. Sanchez is headlining UFC 107, and here are some predictions for the event.

• Why is Mike Pierce in the UFC? Oh yeah, so top-level guys like Jon Fitch can get easy paychecks. Go ahead, Jon, you've earned it.
• Paul Buentello by Hurricane Hippo Holler.
• In the Kenny Florian/Clay Guida match-up, one fighter is going to squeak past the other for the split decision. Then they'll promptly be killed by Penn.
• Win or lose, Cheick Kongo is going to walk around wearing his glasses afterwards and look like that dude who slept with your ex-girlfriend when she did a semester abroad. The bitch.
• Sanchez is going to harness the energy of a nearby storm and supercharge himself with bolts of lightning and rumbles of thunder.
• Penn will still kill him.