Promoting Ain't Easy

Carl Mascarenhas, the man behind the ultra-popular amateur organization Asylum Fight League, suffered a stroke on Friday. It was caught early, so the 36-year-old Mascarenhas is doing okay and recuperating in a South Jersey hospital. As for the AFL event scheduled for this coming Saturday at the Raritan Center, according to administrative guru Mike Sachs, the show will go on. MMA Journalist wishes Mascarenhas a speedy recovery.

Combat at the Capitale Postscript

Good show, good action and epic in length. Melissa Bopp stole the show with her sudden high-kick-to-the-neck reversal of fortune.

Liveblog: CatC Part 6

With Peter Kaljevic in his corner, self-trained Mark LeCroulant squares off against stocky ninjitsu rep Mario Cowboy. With a ton of posturing and taunting, Cowboy entertains the crowd, but after about two minutes of punishment the realization that he is going to take a beating sets in, and he bows out citing a knee injury. Cool Hearts fighter Casey Bohrman and TSMMA's Melissa Bopp are next. This one is a freakin' thrill ride as Bohrman continually blasts Bopp with pushkicks while Bopp trudges forward with punches. Bopp is clearly losing, but in Round 2 she fires off a roundhouse that lands squarely on the taller Bohrman's neck, sending the Cool Hearts rep to the canvas. The ref waves it off a few seconds later when it's clear Bohrman is still on Queer Street. There are six more bouts left, but I have to pick my daughter up from the babysitter. Sorry, folks.

Liveblog: CatC Part 5

TSMMA fields another fighter in Katlyn Chookagian, who enters the ring to take on Lou Neglia student Andrea DeAngelo. Countering DeAngelo's propensity for wading in swinging bolos with concise and varied strikes, Chookagian takes the decision when time runs out. Longo Competition Team rep John Friedman vs. Wilkie Warrior rep Jay Kellog is next on tap. Clearly a fan of securing the Thai clinch and kneeing foes' bodies into jelly, Kellog batters Friedman relentlessly for the decision.

Liveblog: CatC Part 4

Dragon V rep Yves Derisier vs. Longo Competition Team rep Dean Middlebrook is up next. Middlebrook is making mean faces and flexing like a skinny, white Hulk, but a right hook to the temple ends it for him just 47 seconds in. Congrats to Derisier for the quickest finish so far. Bull Pen fighter Dave Fairley and James DeSantis of the Neglia Competition Team take to the ring. Fairley is the aggressor from the outset, but DeSantis' ability to return fire and land effectively gives him the split decision.

Liveblog: CatC Part 3

Ray Longo-trained Frank Hatsis and Kevin Mullhall-trained Rich Brattole of Jersey Fight Club enter the ring. Hatsis has Luke Cummo in his corner. No word if his waterbottle contains urine. The two maintain a frantic pace for all three rounds, but Brattole has more in his gas tank and keeps Hatsis reeling - which is enough to warrant the decision in his favor. Up next: Eddie Fahey of Dragon V against Giancarlo Vinciguerra of the Neglia Competition Team. For two rounds and 13 seconds Vinciguerra repeatedly tags Fahey in the grill, until finally Fahey lays down on the canvas and the referee calls it. TSMMA star striker Sophia Gegovic enters to take on Cool Hearts' Danika Johnston. This one plays out like a chessmatch, with Gegovic's superior boxing technique and timing enabling her to pick at the game Johnson throughout and earn her the decision.

Liveblog: CatC Part 2

Tiger Schulmann MMA fighter Linda Tarsio takes to the ring to face Norma Armijo of America's Finest. These two dimunitive femmes throw down doggedly for the duration, with Tarsio taking the decision with crisper striking. Alicia Bourne, sister of Jason, from the Wat Gym is up next to take on Champion Fitness' Heather Wagner. Before the bout gets underway Kru Phil Nurse takes a paintbrush and slathers Bourne with Vaseline. We'll see if that is a factor. Hmmm, okay, it's not a factor. What is though is the fact that Wagner brought karate to a kickboxing match, which means she gets knocked on her ass a lot and Bourne takes the decision. Alex Wilkie-trained Steve Sierra vs. TSMMA's Steven Regman is up next. The two go at it hard, but Regman's got the counter-striking edge and he takes the decision.

Liveblog: Combat at the Capitale Part 1

MMA Journalist is ringside for promoter Lou Neglia's Combat at the Capitale, an NYC kickboxing event in Chinatown. For those who don't know, the Capitale is a nightclub that used to be a bank, so fighters are locked in a vault and must kick their way out. Okay, not really, but the venue is beautiful and the place gets pretty packed. There are 20 bouts on the card, and first up is a female bout between Daniele Farula of Dragon V Martial Arts and Kasey Matthews of Wing Martial Arts. An interesting thing about Farula... Anyway, for three rounds Farula throws a grand total of seven kicks, 2,000 punches, gets her nose bloodied and wins the unanimous decision. Next is Robbie Guliano of Bull Pen vs. Eric Anthamatten of Premiere Martial Arts. Not Secondary Martial Arts, but Premiere Martial Arts, which is better. Want proof? Look no further than Anthamatten's three knockdowns of Guliano in Round 2 - an automatic stoppage and win for the Premiere rep.

Weekend Schedule

The latest installment of Bellator FC is tonight in Louisiana, and it features the semifinals of the middleweight tournament. Cuban judo star Hector Lombard is taking on Damien Stelly, and then some other dudes are fighting.

Tonight in New York City's Chinatown is Combat at the Capitale, promoter Lou Neglia's kickboxing-only event that usually has a few local MMA stars getting some ringtime to sharpen their striking skills. A preliminary card had Jimmie Rivera and Garrett Carmody on it, but I'm not sure who's on it now. MMA Journalist will be there to liveblog so stay tuned.

Link to Bleacher Report Article

Here's a link to a Bleacher Report article, because, well, why not? http://bleacherreport.com/articles/184961-the-countdown-top-ten-greatest-rivalries-in-ufc-history

Race Angle to Play No Role at All in TUF 10

The race angle will play no role at all in the tenth season of "The Ultimate Fighter", despite the fact that Quinton "Rampage" Jackson and Rashad Evans have been tapped to be opposing coaches, according to a statement released by SpikeTV. Said producer Emile Whitey Jones, "We are very pleased with how the show is shaping up. No single demographic is being pandered to. This will be a season everyone will find entertaining." TUF 10 will feature a fresh crop of heavyweights only, with a number of contestants hailing from NFL backgrounds. Rumored guest coaches include Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan, Chuck D from the rap group "Public Enemy" and that Rastaman bike messenger who you buy weed from once a month. The first episode is slated to air in September.

Presented Without Comment Re: Shady Promoter

"Hahahahaha!!! I know Rick Huddleston personally, and believe me, he has a LOOOOOOOONG history of ripping people off and being a scumbag loser!!!!!!!!!! He'll never change, just hopefully someone kicks his ass once and for all!!!!" - anonymous poster on "Cease and Desist" article

Mitch the Intern's TUF 9 Recap: Episode 9

*Editor's note: Mitch the Intern is an NYU undergrad whose favorite Wednesday night pastime includes the TV in his dorm room, a green beanbag chair and two hits of acid. Enjoy.*

So Team America: World Police is left without a fighter after Dana White has declared Jason Pierce too sad to compete. Poor Jason Pierce. As the Smurf destined to hate everything - including his injured foot, competing, the Octagon, human beings and TUF contracts - his lot in life is a dismal one. His teammates opt to kill him for his inability to muster a positive outlook, so he's weighted down with chains tied to cinderblocks and dropped into the pool.

Cue sad music. Okay, cut.

Dana calls Mark Miller into his lair and asks him if he wants to be a fucking fighter. "My nose hurts," replies Miller. "Plus, I knocked out Josh Neer in the IFL two years ago, so I pretty much peaked then."

"Right," says Dana, who then poses the same profanity-ridden question to Frank Loser. "Yes sir I do want to fight!" replies Frank Loser. "I lost my teeth in my fight a couple days ago, my face is sore and on the verge of failing off, my colon aches and I think I may have scurvy and gout, but I do want to fight!"

So Dana allows Frank Loser to fill in for the irreversibly depressed Jason Pierce, who by now is being picked apart by the hermit crabs that reside in the bottom of the TUF house pool.

Then there's some drama concerning who has to wake up early, with the Queen of England (Dan?) talking so slow a passing tortoise pauses, rears up on its hindclaws and declares, "Damn. Speed it up, will ya?" Apparently the Queen wants Team America: World Police to sleep later, but Team UK coach Michael Bisping doesn't want this whole coaching thing to get in the way of his morning snuggles with Dana White, where the two climb into a single purple Slanket and share a croissant while watching the Today Show. Bisping says no, then suggests that the impending match between Frank Loser and the garble-mouthed David Faulkner settle the issue. None of that flies, so in desperation he viciously attacks the Marquis de Johnson with water squirted from a bottle. The Marquis take 22 hit points of damage and must make a saving throw vs. water bottles, but after the Queen remarks that Bisping is acting like a child and seems to have a thing against royalty, the Brit apologizes. Or something. Who knows. Anyway, Team America: World Police gets to sleep later and Bisping's Slanket sessions with Dana suffer.

And what of that coveted homosexual demographic? What nod to them for this week's episode? It's the gag reflex! David Faulkner still can't keep things in his mouth, so he's sent to a hypnotist. Faulkner narrates in a form of English virtually unspoken since the Battle of Hastings in 1066, peppering his tale with a bunch of words like "ye" and "olde" and "forced to fellate a baguette as a childe" while he's put into some sort of faux-trance by a witch doctor. Is he healed? Doubtful, although he no longer has the urge to smoke and will cluck like a chicken whenever someone says "sandwich".

Then it's fight time, with a dearly departed Mask from Tapout cageside for what turns out to be a sloppy but entertaining war. Throughout the first round the Queen repeats "jab, jab, jab, jab..." until finally referee Moustache Mazzagati has had enough, and when Moustache Mazzagati takes off a shoe and hurls it the Queen, she ducks and hides in the crawl-space beneath the Octagon. Faulkner ends up getting the best of his American foe, but in Round 2 Frank Loser takes control, battering the Brit and sapping him of all his energy. The bell rings and it's expected that a third round is needed. Faulkner ain't having it.

"Don't do this," implores Bisping. "You'll regret this forever."

But Faulkner won't budge, repeatedly stating that he enjoyed himself. Interesting. Well, glad you enjoyed yourself, buddy. Why don't you sit back and relax? Can I get you a Sprite or something?

The fight is waved off and Frank Loser is now Frank Winner after forcing Team UK's alleged best fighter to quit. The end.