More "Return of Macaco" Photos

More photos from Saturday night's "Return of Macaco" event, courtesy of photographer Stephen Reiss. This was Reiss' second MMA show; his first was the WCA the night before.

Notes from Strikeforce Conference Call

Yesterday's Strikeforce media conference call featured promoter Scott Coker, Showtime programming executive Ken Hershman and fighter Frank Shamrock discussing their new broadcasting arrangement and hyping the Shamrock/Nick Diaz bout for their April 11th Strikeforce/Showtime event. Here are some highlights from that call courtesy of MMA Journalist:

• Scott Coker: "Is this thing on? Is this thing on? What does this blinking light mean? God, why did I ever buy an iPhone..."
• Frank Shamrock: "Hello? Hello? Hello?"
• Ken Hershman: "Yes, Showtime is very happy to have this arrangement with the International Fight League. We believe mixed martial arts is the sport of the future..."
• Frank Shamrock: "Hello? Hello? Hello?"
• Ken Hershman: "...Excuse me. BodogFIGHT. Showtime is very happy to have this arrangement with BodogFIGHT..."
• Scott Coker: "I mean, everyone was saying how cool an iPhone is, but I can't get this damn thing to work at all. It's a piece of junk!"
• Frank Shamrock: "Hello? Hello? Hello? Is there anybody on the line?"
• Ken Hershman: "No? The AFL? World Combat Championship? Battleship? Am I close?"
• Scott Coker: "Seriously. It sucks. The only cool thing it does is this application where I can make it sound like a lightsaber. Hehe. That is pretty cool, though."
• Frank Shamrock: "Hellllllooooooo? Hello out there."
• Ken Hershman: "Give me a hint. I know it's not that turd EliteXC."
• Scott Coker: "But other than that, it's nothing more than a damn paperweight. And I'm stuck with it! They talked me into a lifetime contract!"
• Frank Shamrock: "..."
• Ken Hershman: "It's called what? Strikeforce? Okay then. Showtime is very happy to have this arrangement with Strikeforce, and, uh... yeah."
• Scott Coker: "Screw it. *Lightsaber sounds* Tehehe! *More lightsaber sounds* Luke, I am your father!"
• Frank Shamrock: "Honey, can you show me which end I'm supposed to talk into? I forgot."

New Corner Rules For UFC; Fighters No Longer Allowed to Cheat

The UFC, working in conjunction with the Nevada State Athletic Commission, has adopted new rules in regards to fighters and their corners and what goes on between rounds. Stemming from the UFC 94 debacle involving champ Georges St. Pierre's erotic use of K-Y Jelly against challenger BJ Penn and Joe Lauzon's use of gasoline at UFN 17, fighters and their corners will no longer be allowed to cheat. "No more illegal substances, no more banned substances, no more unfair advantages and no more 'shockers'," said UFC Vice President of Being Old and Respected Marc Ratner. "We're cracking down." When asked what a "shocker" was, Ratner held out his fist, then extended his index finger and pointer. "This. And it hurts."

Karo Parisyan Tests Positive for Armenian

UFC welterweight Karo Parisyan, who eked out a split decision victory over Dong Hyun Kim at UFC 94, has tested positive for Armenian according to a report released by the Nevada State Athletic Commission today. Parisyan's almost meteoric rise and then steady decline has been well-documented within the fight world. In his Octagon debut at UFC 44, the accomplished judoka threw veteran fighter Dave Strasser around like a rag doll, and after a loss to Georges St. Pierre, he went on a win-streak that included star performances against Nick Diaz, Chris Lytle, Matt Serra and Nick Thompson. Unfortunately, losses to Diego Sanchez and Thiago Alves, as well as issues with depression and "panic attacks", have turned the former 170-pound top contender into a case study in "what might have been". "We suspected for a while now," says NSAC Chief Urinanalyst Keith Kizer. "You know, with the excessive body hair and the constant use of the word 'bro'. So we administered a test, and yes, Karo Parisyan is indeed Armenian." No word yet on what this means for Parisyan's career, or if the results of any of his past fights will be overturned.

Strikeforce Showing Us How It's Done

Rumors are trickling in as to who will be fighting on the new and improved Strikeforce's April 11th Showtime card. Frank Shamrock and Nick Diaz have signed on the dotted line and will be facing each other, Benji Radach and Scott Smith are throwing down, Robbie Lawler may be rematching with Joey Villasenor, Gilbert Melendez is fighting, Josh Thomson may be fighting, and maybe, just maybe, Gina Carano and Cristiane Cyborg might be in the mix. You know, for the past few months there's been a void left behind thanks to EliteXC's demise, and fans have been stuck with about ten versions of the same UFC a month plus the rare Affliction event. But with Strikeforce's new contract with Showtime and CBS, things have suddenly changed, and changed in a big way. We now have options when it comes to seeing intriguing and captivating fights, and our heroes - like Diaz, Radach, Lawler and Carano - can once again return to battle. It's a good time to be a fan.

The Curious Case of Nuri Shakir

MMA Journalist caught up with old school Northeast badass Nuri Shakir this past weekend (Shakir was cornering friend and teammate Matt Lee at the WCA). For those whose memories extend back only to the first season of "The Ultimate Fighter", Shakir is considered one of the more talented pioneers of the sport in New England, and on his record are wins over Steve Berger, Marcus Davis, Edson Diniz and Nick Serra, as well as losses to top dogs like Tamdan McCrory, Jim Miller and Jorge Masvidal. Shakir can scrap, and the fact that he hits hard (I once saw him break a fighter's jaw in the opening seconds of a bout) and that he's been at it a long, long time make it difficult for the 29-year-old to get fights. As of now, Shakir may have a bout lined up in Boston on March 14th at the World Championship Fighting 6, but whether that pans out or not, the fact remains that he's stuck in the netherworld of being too tough for an up-and-comer, and too much of a risk for an experienced name fighter. I mean, would you want to fight him?

If I Were a Promoter...

Saturday night's modest Return of Macaco event in Newark illustrated a point I've made in the past, specifically, that nation vs. nation MMA events can work if done correctly. At Return of Macaco, the vast majority of the few hundred in attendance were clearly Brazilian, and their fevered shouting in Portuguese and their cheering whenever a Brazilian competitor threw down in the cage took me back to when the Mixed Fighting Championship held those "USA vs. Russia" cards or "USA vs. Japan" cards. Those MFC events were marketed heavily to local Russian and Asian communities, and the resulting crowds made for some seriously passionate bouts. Sadly, those MFCs were held at the Taj Mahal and Boardwalk Hall in Atlantic City, so venue costs far exceeded ticket sales, but if a mass of screaming Russians can make a bout like Vadim Kulchitskiy vs. Joey Brown seem as frenzied as Tito Ortiz vs. Ken Shamrock I, then there's something there that promoters can't ignore. On Saturday night, thanks to Newark's well-represented Brazilian community, the Return of Macaco made the gymnasium of Essex County College feel like downtown Sao Paulo. It was awesome. And when New York opens up to the sport, you can bet the first promoter to hold a USA vs. Russia show in Brighton Beach, a USA vs. Korea event in Flushing Chinatown, or a USA vs. Guidos event on Long Island is going to make a mint.

Observations from My Couch: UFN 17

• Anthony Johnson's kung fu is powerful, but like "The Toad" from the Shaw Brothers classic "The Five Deadly Venoms", his weak spot will always be his eyes. Poke out his eyes and you will defeat him!
• Like "The Scorpion", Josh Neer can utilize his strikes to sting and stun, and can use his submission techniques to trap an opponent like a scorpion holds its prey with its pincers - as TUF 6 winner Mac Danzig learned on Saturday night.
• With his hands emulating "venomous fangs" and his legs like the "stinging whip of a rattling tail", Dan Miller is the embodiment of "The Snake". Jake Rosholt's kung fu was no match him!
• Cain Velasquez sucked.
• Joe "The Centipede" Lauzon attacked Jeremy Stephens so quickly and vigorously, it was as if the Massachusetts native had a hundred arms and legs. Stephens didn't stand a chance.
• Poison Clan rocks the world!

NYC Submission Shootout Postscript

Liveblog: NYC Submission Shootout

MMA Journalist is here at the Fighthouse in Midtown Manhattan, where Rene Dreifuss and Jerry Mendez are hosting the first NYC Submission Shootout (a no-gi grappling event). Over 100 competitors are battling it out on 6 different mats, and the place is pretty packed. A lot of well-know schools are being represented, including NY Combat Sambo, Scarola Jiu-Jitsu, Marcos Santos, ITC, and Serra just to name a few. Sambo Steve is here and he just explained the rules to me. Apparently there are no points, only submissions, and if you don't get the job done in five minutes you're heckled and ridiculed and pelted with garbage. This is making for some frenetic yet exciting matches.

Return of Macaco Postscript

Thanks to a crowd of berserk Brazilians cheering their heroes on, this event ended up kicking ass. Jay Silva was robbed of a decision, Anthony Montanaro looked awesome, and Flavio Alvaro knocked Bill Hill the heck out.

Liveblog: Return of Macaco Part 5

It's time for the main event, which pits Macaco against some dude from Virginia named Beau Baker. So far no Brazilian has lost, but the danger of a riot still lingers, and if the crowd doesn't like the outcome of this one... Well, tell my wife I loved her, and tell her to give my Shabazz Fruit Cola to our daughter. Round 1 is pretty back and forth, with Baker surviving some bad positions and showing a lot of toughness, but Round 2 is all Macaco working from top position. In Round 3 Macaco's age seems to be showing as he slows considerably. However, his experience and technical ability shine through in the little things he does to stay out of trouble (i.e. grabbing his opponent's head and pulling down when Baker gets behind him). The last minute sees the two men throwing bolos, and when time runs out the unanimous decision is awarded to Macaco. That's all, folks.