Observations from My Couch: UFC 91

• Sometimes the UFC rewards a fighter for all his hard work. On Saturday night, Gabriel Gonzaga's reward was tomato can Josh Hendricks.
• I don't know what was scarier: Dustin Hazelett's flawless jiu-jitsu transitions, or his Amish "Wrath of an Angry Old Testament God" beard.
• Jeremy Stephens hit Rafael dos Anjos so hard, he changed Rafael's last name to "uno Anjos".
• Kenny Florian's fight with Joe Stevenson wasn't so much a fight as it was a rape. In fact, in his post-bout medical screening, the Nevada State Athletic Commission had Stevenson take a pregnancy test.
• Brock Lesnar defeated Randy Couture. A WWE wrestler is now the UFC Heavyweight Champ. Excuse me while I go cry in my morning oatmeal.