Monday, January 14, 2008
As an editor and as a fan, I read a ton of MMA-related articles. A ton. And when I'm not weighing all that paper on a gigantic scale (did you know 2,000 pounds of paper fills up an entire room?), I'm picking out the same grammatical mistakes again and again. So listen up, all you budding sports writers and aspiring journalists tackling mixed martial arts for the first time, 'cause I'm only going over this once: 1. The name of our sport is "mixed martial arts". Note how it's not hyphenated or capitalized. Writing "Mixed-Martial-Arts" is incorrect; if you insist on doing that, please go back to watching naked bullriding on ESPN8. 2. The "rear naked choke" finishing hold is not hyphenated. Hyphenating it is a sure sign you belong in the realm of knitting and crocheting. 3. Writing "guillotine choke" is redundant. Just "guillotine" is fine. No one is going to assume fighter A chopped off fighter B's head with an old French execution apparatus. 4. "Armbar" is one word, as is "leglock" and "anklelock". Writing otherwise means you suck. Hard. 5. Plain old "jiu-jitsu" doesn't need to be capitalized. However, "Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu" deserves its capital letters because it's a proper noun - and you learned about proper nouns in grade school. I hope. 6. You don't capitalize "heavyweight" or "champion", unless it's a proper noun (like "UFC Heavyweight Champ" or "Reality Fighting Heavyweight Champ"). By all means, please use capitals in those instances. This same rule applies with the other weight classes, too. 7. Please hyphenate "light-heavyweight". And if you argue that the UFC doesn't hyphenate the word when they do their on-screen graphics, I will kick you in the groin for assuming the UFC's on-screen graphics would trump Strunk & White's Elements of Style. 8. Please capitalize "Octagon". It's a proper noun. Zuffa went to great lengths to trademark it - and they would sue your ass into oblivion if you used an eight-sided cage. So please, do it for them.
The World Cagefighting Organization debut event, which featured the likes of Renato "Babalu" Sobral, former UFC champ Ricco Rodriguez, MMA legend Mark Kerr and the much-maligned but oft-misunderstood Mike Kyle, was a resounding success in the Bizzaro Universe this Saturday. For the thousands of rabid fans crammed into the San Diego Sports Arena, the night was jam-packed with thrills and action - and for those fighters who gave it their all, it was a night of heart, honor and redemption. "I would fight for the WCO again for sure," said Babalu, who reportedly earned a handsome sum for his first bout back since his suspension. "They took care of me and delivered on all their promises." No word yet on when the WCO will return, but as they ran a smooth show, paid all the fighters, and meshed flawlessly with the California State Athletic Commission, it was certainly a hit in the Bizarro Universe. In other news, the WCO completely shit the bed in our universe.