Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Mitch the Intern's Predictions for UFC 108: "Ultimate Brock Lesnar! Woo!"

*Editors note: Mitch the Intern is an NYU undergrad whose favorite Saturday night pastime involves chugging two bottles of Robitussin cough syrup and watching the UFC at a local dive bar. Enjoy!*

It's time once again for that annual Octagon bash we've all come to love and expect, that grand affair when the UFC pulls out all the stops and presents their biggest names to celebrate the New Year - and boy is this card a doozy! Heavyweight champ Brock "Drink Coors and Lay On Top of His Wife" Lesnar is set to take on Shane Carwin for what is sure to be a war, while on the undercard the Brazilian master of weird postfight expressions Gabriel Gonzaga faces Junior uno dos tres Santos and lightweights Tyson Griffin and Jim Miller square off. Intrigued? Excited? You should be! So here are some predictions!
  • Shane Carwin is an awesome wrestler and he punches like... like... someone who punches. But Count Brockula has simply got too much intestinal fortitude. No way is Lesnar giving up that belt.
  • Gonzago is either going to win and make a retarded face, or get knocked out and make a retarded face. Guaranteed.
  • Oh my God, I am so glad Rashad Evans vs. Thiago Silva is not the main event. Can you imagine? Lame!
  • Carlos Condit is going to kick. Paul. Daley's. Ass. Believe it.
  • Tyson Griffin has got... uh... er... remember when Joe Rogan talked about his butt? He called it "badonkadonk" or something? Boy did that make me feel uncomfortable.
  • Sean Sherk can really flip those tires. Which is very relevant to MMA competition. You know, because of how often fighters must face tractors in the Octagon.
  • Did you know if you rearrange the letters in Rory Markham's name you get "Hkrya Mrroam"? Isn't that crazy?
  • I think Steve Cantwell probably misses those WEC days.