Monday, August 25, 2008

Drunk on Lies and Deceit, Dana White Blasts EliteXC's Kimbo/Ken Shamrock Match-Up

Spewing forth vitriol and words unkind, UFC dictator-for-life Dana White unleashed a profanity-laced tirade of epic proportions in response to the announced match-up between Kimbo Slice and Ken Shamrock for EliteXC's upcoming October 4th show on CBS. Claiming the bout would be the worst thing possible for "this *&^#%^@ sport I made", White attacked the pairing and called it irresponsible matchmaking at its finest. "Ken Shamrock does not belong on primetime television!" said White. "He belongs in the Octagon, fighting Tito Ortiz again! And again! And again!" In addition to the Slice/Shamrock fight, welterweight champ Jake Shields will defend his title against Paul Daley, female superstar Gina Carano will face Kelly Kobald-Gavin, and Benji Radach will square off against Murilo "Ninja" Rua.

Wherefore Art Thou, Josh Rhodes?

In June of 2007, Rhodes, a light-heavyweight with dynamite in his fists, stepped into the cage at CFFC 5 in Atlantic City and battered former TUF competitor Noah Inhofer senseless. This wasn't really anything out of the ordinary for Rhodes, nor was it a shock to East Coasters who'd been watching him wreck opponents left and right since his Reality Fighting debut two years prior. The kid was just a badass, plain and simple. But over a year has passed since that CFFC 5 bout and the college student has purportedly been hitting the books in lieu of the focus mitts - which is not just a loss to fight fans, but a loss to promotions looking to add depth to their 205-pound divisions. With a TKO win over Wayne Cole and KO victory over Lamont Lister, one can't help but wonder how the slugger would do when EliteXC star Rafael "Feijao" Cavalcante starts throwing down, or when Strikeforce champ Bobby Southworth turns up the heat. Wherefore art thou, Josh Rhodes? We want to find out.

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Wagnney Fabiano to Join WEC's Ranks of Elite Rodentia

Wagnney Fabiano, the IFL's 145-pound title holder, has signed on with the WEC. Fabiano is a South American nutria (think: relative of the muskrat but without the flat tail) and a dominant Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu specialist with knockout hands, and he joins the likes of champion hamster Urijah Faber and top-ranked gerbil Jens Pulver as one of the promotion's elite rodentia competitors. Said Fabiano on the move: "I am thrilled, man. Say, do you have any reeds, cattails or other semi-aquatic vegetation? I love that stuff."