Thursday, February 4, 2010

Predictions For UFC 109: "Attack of the Olds"

UFC 109 approaches, and with its star-studded headlining bout of Oldie McOld versus Captain Oldenstein, one thing becomes more apparent than ever before: holy cow has Zuffa run out of worthy headliners. Granted, Randy Couture and Mark Coleman are ex-champs, but they're... how do you say it... ah yes, freakin' old (and pretty irrelevant). So here we go, another UFC that means nothing - unless you're into dudes who fought in World War I and who are getting perilously close to collecting Social Security checks. Predictions:
  • Matt Serra is facing Frank Trigg. Why? Who knows. But now we get to see the man who inspired the cast of MTV's "Jersey Shore" wreck a man who posed nude for some gay magazine.
  • Demian Maia is going to work some top-level jiu-jitsu magic on Dan Miller. Until, of course, Miller punches him in the face. Then the Brazilian is going to go flying!
  • Paulo Thiago over Mike Swick via concussion grenade and submachine gun. BOPA!
  • The winner of Nate Marquardt vs. Chael Sonnen gets to the winner of Anderson Silva vs. Vitor Belfort. So in essence, whoever survives on Saturday night gets to die at a later date.
  • Randy Couture wins out of sheer oldness.