Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Nine Out of Ten Crazy People Agree That BJ Penn Sucks

According to a recent phone survey conducted by the Department of Relevant Knowledge (aka, DORK), nine out of ten crazy people polled fully believe that former UFC lightweight champ BJ Penn sucks.  This startling statistic comes on the heels of Penn's defeat at the hands of current champ Frankie Edgar at last weekend's UFC 118 - a clear and convincing loss that stunned many and sent shockwaves through the BJ Penn-nuthugger community.  At times considered a "prodigy", a "phenom" and "the greatest lightweight ever", Penn's career highs have included dominate performances and titles in two weight classes, a coaching stint on the Ultimate Fighter, and a best-selling memoir that detailed how much he thinks Dana White is a tool bag.  But apparently those accomplishments pale in comparison to his inability to overcome the talent and ability of Edgar, who is considered one of the sport's best representatives of the newest generation of MMA fighter.  Unfortunately, now, as per popular crazy person opinion, Penn must face a legacy tarnished with inadequacy and failure.  What's left for a diminutive Hawaiian with questionable jiu-jitsu and Tae Kwon Do-esque boxing skills?     

Monday, August 30, 2010

Observations from My Couch: UFC 118 "Ultimate Dance-Off 2: Electric Bugaloo"

  • Months ago a Zuffa insider lamented to me that Joe Silva was “scraping the bottom of the barrel for fighters”.  Hi, Gabe Ruediger!  How’s the arm?
  • Nik Lentz apparently thought Andre Winner was a big piece of cheese and the Octagon was a cheese grater.  How else can you explain him trying to push the Brit through the fence for all three rounds?
  • Dan Miller’s guillotine: when done right, no can defend.
  • Nate Diaz is so adorable.  Even when he’s busting up Marcus Davis’ orbital bone, I have the urge to buy him an ice cream cone and take him to the park to fly kites.
  • Gray Maynard is the master of making exciting match-ups into boring ones.  Really, he’s elevated it to an art form.
  • There are Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belts, and then there’s Demian Maia, who may not be able to sub other black belts, but he damn sure can toy with them.
  • Randy Couture defeated a boxer.  In other news, I hear this scrawny Royce Gracie dude is totally smoking these bigger karate and kung fu fighters.  Isn’t that insane?
  • It took about two takedowns for Frankie Edgar to convince BJ Penn that every weapon the Hawaiian had at his disposal was useless.  After that, it was twenty minutes of Edgar dancing circles around Penn and Penn wanting to be somewhere far, far away.
  • Maynard gets the next crack at Edgar, and Edgar is absolutely going to smash him.  Don’t believe me?  Look at the fighter Edgar was when they first fought and then look at Edgar now.  Okay, compare the Maynard who was with the Maynard from now.  The champ is a totally different fighter these days – a beast with his hands and an ace on the ground – and the challenger is the same human blanket.  Edgar is going to punch “The Bully” in the face for days. 

Friday, August 27, 2010

Observations from My Couch: Bellator 26 "Sometimes Girl Fights Make Me Uncomfortable"

  • Tyler Stinson and Steve Carl had a short but sweet scrap.  Two and a half minutes of back-and-forth near-death is worth tuning in to any day.
  • Aisling Daly’s performance speaks volumes on the state of Irish female MMA.
  • Two chicks in the north/south position.  Dammit, why couldn’t it have been Gina Carano and Meisha Tate in there!
  • Jose Vega vs. Danny Tims was fast, furious and fun.  Already this bantamweight tournament is paying off.
  • Alexey Oleinik looked okay, but I can’t help thinking that he’d perish under the smothering bulk of the Human Down Comforter (aka Cole Konrad).

August 2010 Women's Independent World MMA Rankings

The August 2010 Women's Independent World MMA Rankings have been released. These rankings are independent of any single MMA media outlet or sanctioning body, and are published on multiple web sites, as well as http://www.independentworldmmarankings.com/.

The members of the voting panel for the Women's Independent World MMA Rankings are, in alphabetical order: Nicholas Bailey (MMA Ratings); Jim Genia (Full Contact Fighter and MMA Journalist Blog); Yael Grauer (MMA HQ); Jesse Holland (MMA Mania); Robert Joyner (Freelance); Zac Robinson (Sports by the Numbers MMA); Leland Roling (Bloody Elbow); Michael David Smith (AOL Fanhouse); Joshua Stein (MMA Opinion); and Ivan Trembow (Freelance).

Note: Gina Carano, Lena Ovchynnikova, and Emily Thompson are temporarily ineligible to be ranked, due to the fact that they have not fought in over 12 full months.

Note: Carina Damm has regained her eligibility to be ranked because she has fulfilled the terms of her 2008 California State Athletic Commission steroids suspension by paying her fine. Given that she has recent fights in both the bantamweight and flyweight divisions, she is eligible to be ranked in both of those weight classes.

August 2010 Women's Independent World MMA Rankings
Ballots collected on August 24, 2010

Featherweight Rankings (136 to 145 lbs.)
1. Cristiane "Cyborg" Santos (10-1)
2. Marloes Coenen (17-4)
3. Yuko "Hiroko" Yamanaka (9-1-1)
4. Cindy Dandois (4-0)
5. Shana Olsen (4-0)
6. Amanda Nunes (5-1)
7. Jamie Seaton (2-1)
8. Hitomi Akano (16-8)
9. Ediane Gomes (5-1)
10. Yoko Takahashi (14-11-3)

Bantamweight Rankings (126 to 135 lbs.)
1. Sarah Kaufman (12-0)
2. Roxanne Modafferi (15-6)
3. Tara LaRosa (18-2)
4. Miesha Tate (11-2)
5. Hitomi Akano (16-8)
6. Shayna Baszler (12-6)
7. Takayo Hashi (12-2)
8. Jennifer Tate (6-1)
9. Julie Kedzie (14-8)
10. Vanessa Porto (10-4)

Flyweight Rankings (116 to 125 lbs.)
1. Tara LaRosa (18-2)
2. Aisling Daly (9-0)
3. Rosi Sexton (10-2)
4. Zoila Frausto (8-1)
5. Rin Nakai (7-0)
6. Megumi Fujii (21-0)
7. Sally Krumdiack (8-3)
8. Monica Lovato (5-1)
9. Jeri Sitzes (3-1)
10. Carina Damm (15-4)

Junior Flyweight Rankings (106 to 115 lbs.)
1. Megumi Fujii (21-0)
2. Yuka Tsuji (22-2)
3. Lisa Ward (13-5)
4. Mei "V Hajime" Yamaguchi (6-2)
5. Jessica Aguilar (9-3)
6. Zoila Frausto (8-1)
7. Kyoko Takabayashi (11-4)
8. Jessica Pene (7-1)
9. Angela Magana (8-4)
10. Emi Fujino (8-4)

The Women's Independent World MMA Rankings are tabulated and published on a monthly basis, with fighters receiving ten points for a first-place vote, nine points for a second-place vote, and so on.

The rankings are based purely on the votes of the members of the voting panel, with nobody's vote counting more than anybody else's vote, and no computerized voting.

The voters are instructed to vote primarily based on fighters' actual accomplishments in the cage/ring (the quality of opposition that they've actually beaten), not based on a broad, subjective perception of which fighters would theoretically win hypothetical match-ups.

Inactivity: Fighters who have not fought in the past 12 months are not eligible to be ranked, and will regain their eligibility the next time they fight.

Disciplinary Suspensions: Fighters who are currently serving disciplinary suspensions, or who have been denied a license for drug test or disciplinary reasons, are not eligible to be ranked.

Changing Weight Classes: When a fighter announces that she is leaving one weight class in order to fight in another weight class, the fighter is not eligible to be ranked in the new weight class until her first fight in the new weight class has taken place.

Catch Weight Fights: When fights are contested at weights that are in between the limits of the various weight classes, they are considered to be in the higher weight class. The weight limits for each weight class are listed at the top of the rankings for each weight class.

Special thanks to Eric Kamander, Joshua Stein and Yael Grauer for their invaluable help with this project, and special thanks to Garrett Bailey for designing our logo.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Upcoming Bouts to Look Out For II

Some more clarity on the upcoming Lyman Good bout: he’s fighting Ben Askren at a Bellator event on October 14th in Kansas City.  There was supposed to be a Bellator show in New Jersey (and it would’ve featured teen pop sensation Lester Caslow on the card somewhere), but that got nixed for whatever reason.  Also, keep an eye out for…

  • Jimmie Rivera vs. Abel Cullum, King of the Cage on September 17th The MGM Grand at Foxwoods Casino in Connecticut is playing host to a King of the Cage event (remember them?), and fighting for a belt is TSMMA’s Jimmie Rivera and DREAM veteran Abel Cullum.  This will be by far Rivera’s toughest test yet, but with solid hands and a knack for turning into a statue whenever someone tries to take him down, he’s certainly got the tools to pull out the win.
  • Steve DeAngelis vs. Aguileno Brandao, King of the Cage on September 17th Steve DeAngelis may have fallen short against Nick Pace when the two fought for the ROC 135-pound title, but he’s still one of the best “little guys” the Northeast has to offer.  Watch for him to pound Aguileno Brandao into the canvas until there’s nothing left of Brandao but a smear that referee has to clean up with a sponge.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Disinterested BJ Penn Hypes Fight By Saying Edgar Is Short, From New Jersey

The hype for UFC 118's lightweight championship rematch reached a fever pitch today, with ex-champ and now challenger BJ Penn proclaiming that incumbent title-holder Frankie Edgar is short. When posed with a question regarding Saturday's upcoming bout, and after being nudged by UFC president Dana White, Penn rose from his chair at the press conference, put down the sweater he was crocheting, and stammered before finding his words. "Uh, Frankie is a good fighter, but he doesn't deserve that belt. He's, uh, too short. Plus, he's from New Jersey." Added the hard-hitting jiu-jitsu phenom with a yawn, "I'm from Hawaii, myself." Despite the collective gasp the echoed throughout the historic Faneuil Hall in Boston, Edgar remained his usual laconic self, responding to the trash talk with a mumble, a grin and a fist pump.

It's been said that a focused Penn is a dangerous Penn. Well, if the lightweight heat emanating from the UFC 118 press conference is of any indication, Edgar may be in for a rough night on Saturday.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Upcoming Bouts to Look Out For

Hey, do you like mixed martial arts?  Of course you do.  And if you’re reading this blog, you’re most likely either a fan of MMA in the Northeast or hopped up on goofballs (or both).  So for your reading pleasure – and to satisfy a court order that stipulates that I must produce at least one blog post a day – I’ve compiled a handy-dandy list of upcoming bouts worth looking out for. 

    • Daniel Akinyemi vs. Rich Bianchi, UCC 3 on September 10th The UCC returns to Jersey City, and with it comes middleweight prospect Daniel Akinyemi, who slammed his way to victory on the Iron Ring reality show on BET before taking a two and a half-year hiatus.  A paramedic in the real world, Akinyemi is a well-rounded and aggressive competitor when fists are flying.
    • Joe Funaro vs. Nicholas Torres, Aslyum Fight League 30 on September 11th Former underground fighter Joe Funaro (twin brother to James) makes his Asylum debut against some kid named Nicholas Torres.  I know nothing about Torres, but every time a UCL veteran fights in a legitimate promotion an angel gets his wings, so, um, yeah.
    • Tom DeBlass vs. Tom Velasquez, ROC 31 on September 24th There are so many stellar match-ups on the ROC 31 card that it’s hard to pick any single one as the stand-out.  But I will say this: the pairing of Ricardo Almeida black belt Tom DeBlass against “Latino Sakuraba” Tom Velasquez should be damn exciting.  Damn exciting.
    • Mike Fischetti vs. Joe Synol, ROC Amateurs II on September 25th Joe Synol’s been racking up some wins in the various New Jersey’s amateur MMA promotions.  Unfortunately, he’s facing TSMMA’s unstoppable Mike Fischetti at ROC’s upcoming amateur show, and as Fischetti is the master of sprawl-and-brawl, Synol is likely going to get smashed with a quickness.
    • Shawn Obasi vs. Carlos Cline, Brick City FC on October 2nd The self-proclaimed “Wing Chun Man” is making his pro debut at the inaugural Brick City Fighting Championship event in Newark, and his opponent is longtime Renzo Gracie disciple Carlos Cline.  Expect a lot of punches to the face in this one.
    • Kim Couture vs. Munah Holland, ROC 32 on October 23rd Everyone knows Kim Couture as the chick who married and divorced Randy Couture, and some may even know her from her handful of MMA bouts.  But soon people will know her as the lady who was killed by Munah Holland.  Holland will be making her MMA debut in this match-up, but she was a 2007 Golden Gloves boxing champ and she hails from TSMMA, so she specializes in MURDER.
    • Lyman Good vs. Ben Askren, at an undetermined Bellator event in October – Bellator welterweight champ and TSMMA star Lyman Good gets to do the man-dance with Ben Askren, the wrestler who won the Season Two tourney.  Sure, Askren is great at takedowns and constant-pressure, but the word on the street is Kurt Pellegrino has been bringing in high-level wrestlers for Good to work with and Good’s been stuffing them all.  Watch for the Human Action Figure to pound out the Man with the Out-of-Control Hair.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Bob Reilly: Unloved and Unappreciated

New York State Assemblyman Bob Reilly hates MMA and has done his best to keep it out of the state.  But not everyone likes Assemblyman Reilly, nor his cause.  Here's James Whalen, who is challenging Reilly for his Assembly seat: http://blog.timesunion.com/capitol/archives/30880/whalen-to-reilly-enough-with-mma/ .

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Observations from My Couch: Strikeforce's "Houston, We Have a Problem"

    • Bobby Lashley is no Brock Lesnar.  Nope, not by a long shot.
    • The referee standing Lashley up when Lashley had the mount was a disgrace.  However, homeboy was done, and if things didn’t end between rounds they most certainly would’ve ended in the third.  Props to Chad Griggs for making the Lashley/Batista match-up viable.
    • KJ Noons is fantastic with his hands and even better with his late punches and illegal kicks.  Please, Nick Diaz, rematch this fool and crush him.
    • Jacare deserved the win.  Tim Kennedy looked solid, but it just came down to who scored the most points, and Kennedy’s messed up grill told the tale.
    • King Mo got his ass royally kicked and he was dethroned.  He was banished from his kingdom and must now live in exile.  He is a king without a crown.  His rule is over and his subjects are no longer awed by his presence.  He is but a mere commoner now…  Okay, that’s enough of the analogies.
    • Feijao looked solid taking out Muhammed Lawal and earning himself the Strikeforce light-heavyweight belt.  But as per Strikeforce rules, he will lose it in his first title-defense.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Top Five Cole Konrad Jokes

Bellator 25 touched down in Chicago last night, and fans who tuned in were treated to 115-pound female tournament darkhorse Zoila Frausto tossing Jessica Pene around like a rag doll, UFC vet Brad Blackburn and Dan Hornbuckle staging a real thriller on the feet, and Polish strongman Damian Grabowski somehow stealing a decision despite having zero takedown defense.  It was an entertaining show… and then heavyweight Cole Konrad came in and stunk up the joint.  Seriously, the dude is bad, so very, very bad, and no amount of name-dropping (“Yeah, he’s Brock Lesnar’s training partner,” “He and Brock Lesnar went to the same pre-school,” “Did you know COLE KONRAD spelled backwards is BROCK LESNAR?”) by the announcers can change that.  Maybe he had success as an amateur wrestler somewhere where people care about that stuff, but in the real world he is a complete MMA show-killer.  So here, without further adieu, are the top five Cole Konrad jokes.

  1. Molasses, drying paint and old people screwing – what do they all have in common?  They watch tape of Cole Konrad to find their inspiration.
  2. Cole Konrad is so slow, when he walks down the sidewalk there’s a line of snails behind him shaking their fists and yelling, “Hey asshole, speed up!”
  3. The US Food and Drug Administration is currently approving Cole Konrad as a sleep-aid.  Unfortunately, the clinical trials have stalled because the test subjects keep falling into comas.
  4. Cole Konrad moves so slowly, mountains brag about hiking up him.
  5. Cole Konrad walks into a bar.  The bartender says, “What can I get you?”  Cole Konrad thinks about it, then replies, “A coke, please.”  But it’s 30 years later and the bartender is dead.

Brick City Fighting Championship to Feature Epic Gracie vs. Sambo Battle

Brick City Fighting Championship, a newcomer to the New Jersey pro MMA scene, enters the fray on October 2nd at Essex County College in Newark, and the marquee bout of their initial offering is a strong one.  In a pairing between elite grapplers, Igor Gracie of the famous Clan McGracie (think: jiu-jitsu from the Highlands of Scotland) is taking on Ozzy Dugulubgov of K-Dojo, and the match-up promises fireworks.  For those out there under house arrest or confined to a 1950s fall-out shelter, Dugulubgov is some kind of Eastern European badass with a killer sub game, and in his brief amateur MMA career was absolutely beastly in the cage.  Brick City FC scored a big win in securing Dugulubgov for his pro debut, and matching him against a Gracie is nothing short of genuis. 

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Observations from My Couch: WEC 50 "Attack of the Munchkins"

    • Bart Palaszewski scored a great, crowd-pleasing win against Zach Micklewright, but the victory did little to allay the underlying tragedy of the bout.  The tragedy that was his hairstyle.
    • Yes, Stephan Bonnar and Todd Harris.  We get it.  Brad Pickett is like a Pikey from “Snatch”.  Please move on.
    • Scott Jorgensen and Pickett sure did have a decent stand-up scrap.  It’s always a breathe of fresh air when fighters actually exhibit some striking skill and bob and weave and feint before plastering each other in the mug.
    • I am wholly unmoved by Chad Mendes’s dry-humping.  Still, he got the job done, and Cub Swanson had nothing for him.
    • Shane Roller was impressive.  Anthony Pettis was impressiver.  How about that late triangle, eh?  The WEC’s lightweight division might be like watching toddlers splash around in a shallow pool, but at least there are a couple cute kids worth paying attention to.
    • One day someone is going to figure out that the secret to Dominick Cruz’s fighting method is mixing Irish Stepdancing (“Riverdance”) with the disco “Hustle”.  Then he’ll be screwed.
    • Oh how I miss the days when a WEC bantamweight champ won in decisive and dominant fashion.  Where for art thou, Miguel Torres?

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

MMA Journalist's Four-Day Forecast

Rain, sleet, snow, sunshine – thanks to the WEC, Bellator and Strikeforce, there’s one heck of a varied MMA weather pattern in store for the next few days.  When will you need an umbrella to keep the crapfest from raining down on you?  What day will the glare from Stephen Quadros’s demonic smile require SPF 200 sunblock?  When does avoiding your TV, going out and hiding under a bush in the park become your best option?  Here’s MMA Journalist’s four-day forecast!

  • Wednesday: WEC 50 rolls into Las Vegas like a cool desert breeze tonight.  And like a breeze, you won’t notice it unless you’re paying attention.  Why is that?  Because the WEC has managed to cultivate a decent number of stars in the lower weight classes and none of them are on the card.  Human tornado Dominic Cruz gets to defend his bantamweight belt against Urijah Faber-protégé Joseph Benavidez – and he probably will beat the little dust cloud by decision like he beat him before – and a tough and experienced bit of British fog known as Brad Pickett will turn the Scott Jorgensen picnic into a washout.  But who cares?  The WEC’s got an A-list, and these guys aren’t on it.
  • Thursday: Thursday’s Bellator 25 card in Chicago includes a brief ray of sun in the form of Jessica Pena and Zoila Frausto in a 115-pound female tournament quarterfinal bout.  Pena is a top-five fighter and Frausto was unranked until last month, when she blasted top 125-pounder Rosi Sexton with a bolt of lightning and took Sexton’s spot in the tournament.  Frausto may be hard to predict in terms of whether she’ll bring the rain or just be overcast, but we know damn well she’s capable of thunder now, so this bout is worth watching.  Also worth it: Season 2 welterweight tourney runner-up Dan Hornbuckle vs. Brad Blackburn, which pits a submission storm against a smothering mud puddle.  The rest of the card, however, includes disaster Cole Konrad and three other scrubs in heavyweight quarterfinal fights.  Stay indoors for those.
  • Friday: Clear and beautiful with no MMA scheduled.  Now would be a good time to walk around your neighborhood toting a 1800s Parisian parasol.
  • Saturday: Strikeforce will hit Houston like an avalanche on Saturday, burying folks in the snow job that is ex-pro wrestler Bobby Lashley vs. no-name Chad Griggs.  But those who manage to dig themselves out of the white powder will get treated to the completely irrelevant pairing of Jorge Gurgel and KJ Noons, which will end with Gurgel out-struck, bleeding and TKO’d.  Lay-and-pray master Muhammed Lawal (aka “King Mo”) gets to defend his light-heavyweight belt against the hot-and-cold Rafael “Feijao” Cavalcante) in what promises to be a fight as exciting as watching ice melt.  Yet those who are fans of grappling will most likely be making snow angels when Tim Kennedy and Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza go at it for the middleweight title.

That’s it for the weather.  Now, over to Richard for the traffic report.  Richard?

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Another Collection of News Haiku

Japan.  The Land of the Rising Sun.  A society steeped in rich culture, a deep sense of budo, weird food and anime fraught with odd sex.  But Japan’s most enduring contribution to the world is the haiku, a terse form of poetry that consists of a five-seven-five pattern of syllables.  It is in this way that MMA Journalist will bring you the news today (next week: iambic pentameter!).

    • An old car, broken/ down, needs lots of work.  Such is/ the great Nogueira.
    • CroCop will step in/ to face Frank Mir.  Hooray for/ fighters past their prime!
    • DREAM still hasn’t paid/ Bibiano Fernandes?/  Bad way to treat champ.
    • Shane Carwin named in/ steroid case.  Steroids? No way! /  That’s a big surprise.
    • Jens Pulver lost to/ some scrub this past weekend.  It/ don’t get no sadder.
    • Tomorrow is a/ WEC and there’s no heat./  They need the Zombie!

Monday, August 16, 2010

Observations from My Couch: Strikeforce Challengers 10 "The One with All the Chicks"

    • Of all the female fighters we’ve seen in 2010, Maiju Kujala has by far the cutest hairstyle.
    • Damn, did Hitomi Akano own Carina Damm.  (See what I did there?)
    • Remember when Julian Lennon released his first album and everyone was comparing him to his father, John Lennon?  Yeah, Ryan Couture looked okay.  Just okay.
    • Joe Riggs seemed fine for a guy with almost 50 fights and 50 major injuries.  But really, did anyone actually tune in to watch Riggs battle a scrub?
    • For all the ownage Akano perpetrated on Damm earlier in the night, it was Meisha Tate who was unequivocally dominating her in the finals.  Does Tate have a chance against champ Sarah Kaufman?  Probably not.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Eddie Alvarez to Avenge Football Player at Bellator 33

Bellator lightweight champ Eddie Alvarez has signed on to face noted football player-hater Roger Huerta in a no-title bout slated for Bellator 33 on October 21st.  Huerta - a veteran of the UFC who once graced the cover of Sports Illustrated - gained widespread notoriety earlier this month for a street altercation that began when ex-Atlanta Falcon linebacker Rashad Bobino punched a female from behind and ended with Bobino on the ground and Huerta kicking his teeth in.  According to a press release, Alvarez had no stake in the infamous fight that occurred on the mean streets of Austin, Texas, but he took great umbrage at Huerta's apparent disdain for American-rules football and its players, and the Philadelphia-based slugger asked for the match-up himself.  Said Bellator Chief Conquistador Bjorn Rebney, "Yes, Pat Curran won the tournament last season and should get Alvarez next.  But this is a, er, vendetta, and Bellator will pursue any angle to sell fights.  Literally, any angle."

Observations from My Couch: Bellator 24 "Hector Lombard Murders Another One"

    • Neil Grove looked good wrecking Eddie Sanchez, but Sanchez is like a heavy bag with legs, so it’s not much of an accomplishment.
    • For a minute there, I thought Carla Esparza was going to pull off a “Pat Curran” and sprawl-and-brawl Megumi Fujii to death.  Fujii, studette that she is, pulled it off though.
    • I don’t what was more painful to see – Frank Mir snapping Tim Sylvia’s arm in half at UFC 48, Corey Hill getting his shin fractured at UFC: “Fight for the Troops”, or Fujii getting interviewed after her Bellator 24 win.  Jesus, that was awful.  Did no one know ahead of time that her English was that bad?
    • Jessica Aguilar: tough, but not a looker.
    • Bellator seems to be trying their damndest to get Hector Lombard to kill someone in the cage.  And last night he came close.
    • Ever since Moosin, I cringe whenever an Yves Edwards’ fight goes to decision.  Thankfully, he got the “W” he deserved.

August 2010 Men's Independent World MMA Rankings

The August 2010 Men's Independent World MMA Rankings have been released. These rankings are independent of any single MMA media outlet or sanctioning body, and are published on multiple web sites. In addition to the numerous MMA web sites that publish the Independent World MMA Rankings, you can also access the rankings at any time by going to http://www.independentworldmmarankings.com/.

Some of the best and most knowledgeable MMA writers from across the MMA media landscape have come together to form one independent voting panel. These voting panel members are, in alphabetical order: Zach Arnold (Fight Opinion); Nicholas Bailey (MMA Ratings); Jared Barnes (Freelance); Jordan Breen (Sherdog); Jim Genia (Full Contact Fighter and MMA Journalist Blog); Jesse Holland (MMA Mania); Robert Joyner (Freelance); Todd Martin (CBS Sportsline); Jim Murphy (The Savage Science); Zac Robinson (Sports by the Numbers MMA); Leland Roling (Bloody Elbow); Michael David Smith (AOL Fanhouse); Joshua Stein (MMA Opinion); Ivan Trembow (Freelance); and Dave Walsh (Head Kick Legend).

Note: Paul Daley, Gilbert Melendez, Jake Shields, Nick Diaz, and Jason Miller are all temporarily ineligible to be ranked due to the fact that they are all currently serving disciplinary suspensions. Daley is serving a disciplinary suspension for punching Josh Koscheck after their fight was over, and all of the other fighters are serving disciplinary suspensions for their roles in the post-fight brawl at the Strikeforce event in Nashville.

Note: Due to the fact that Anderson Silva has said in numerous recent interviews that he plans to stay in the middleweight division for the rest of his career and has no plans to fight in the light heavyweight division anymore, along with the fact that Silva's most recent fights have been at middleweight, Silva has lost his eligibility to be ranked in the light heavyweight division. Unless Silva returns to light heavyweight in the future, he will be eligible to be ranked exclusively in the middleweight division.

August 2010 Men's Independent World MMA Rankings
Ballots collected on August 10, 2010

Heavyweight Rankings (206 to 265 lbs.)
1. Brock Lesnar (5-1)
2. Fedor Emelianenko (31-2, 1 No Contest)
3. Fabricio Werdum (14-4-1)
4. Cain Velasquez (8-0)
5. Junior dos Santos (12-1)
6. Shane Carwin (12-1)
7. Alistair Overeem (33-11, 1 No Contest)
8. Frank Mir (13-5)
9. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (32-6-1, 1 No Contest)
10. Antonio Silva (14-2)

Light Heavyweight Rankings (186 to 205 lbs.)
1. Mauricio "Shogun" Rua (19-4)
2. Lyoto Machida (16-1)
3. Rashad Evans (15-1-1)
4. Quinton Jackson (30-8)
5. Forrest Griffin (17-6)
6. Muhammed "King Mo" Lawal (7-0)
7. Antonio Rogerio Nogueira (19-3)
8. Jon Jones (11-1)
9. Gegard Mousasi (29-3-1)
10. Thiago Silva (14-2)

Middleweight Rankings (171 to 185 lbs.)
1. Anderson Silva (27-4)
2. Chael Sonnen (25-11-1)
3. Nathan Marquardt (29-9-2)
4. Dan Henderson (25-8)
5. Vitor Belfort (19-8)
6. Demian Maia (12-2)
7. Yushin Okami (25-5)
8. Ronaldo "Jacare" Souza (12-2, 1 No Contest)
9. Jorge Santiago (22-8)
10. Robbie Lawler (17-6, 1 No Contest)

Welterweight Rankings (156 to 170 lbs.)
1. Georges St. Pierre (20-2)
2. Jon Fitch (23-3, 1 No Contest)
3. Josh Koscheck (15-4)
4. Thiago Alves (17-7)
5. Dan Hardy (23-7, 1 No Contest)
6. Martin Kampmann (17-3)
7. Matt Hughes (45-7)
8. Paulo Thiago (13-2)
9. Matt Serra (11-6)
10. Mike Swick (14-4)

Lightweight Rankings (146 to 155 lbs.)
1. Frankie Edgar (12-1)
2. B.J. Penn (15-6-1)
3. Kenny Florian (13-4)
4. Shinya Aoki (24-5, 1 No Contest)
5. Eddie Alvarez (20-2)
6. Gray Maynard (9-0, 1 No Contest)
7. Tatsuya Kawajiri (26-6-2)
8. George Sotiropoulos (13-2)
9. Evan Dunham (11-0)
10. Ben Henderson (12-1)

Featherweight Rankings (136 to 145 lbs.)
1. Jose Aldo (17-1)
2. Manny Gamburyan (11-4)
3. Urijah Faber (23-4)
4. Mike Brown (23-6)
5. Hatsu Hioki (21-4-2)
6. Marlon Sandro (17-1)
7. Bibiano Fernandes (8-2)
8. Josh Grispi (14-1)
9. Michihiro Omigawa (11-8-1)
10. "Lion" Takeshi Inoue (18-4)

Bantamweight Rankings (126 to 135 lbs.)
1. Dominick Cruz (15-1)
2. Brian Bowles (8-1)
3. Joseph Benavidez (12-1)
4. Miguel Torres (37-3)
5. Scott Jorgensen (10-3)
6. Takeya Mizugaki (13-4-2)
7. Damacio Page (15-4)
8. Wagnney Fabiano (14-2)
9. Masakatsu Ueda (11-1-2)
10. Rani Yahya (15-6)

The Men's Independent World MMA Rankings are tabulated on a monthly basis in each of the top seven weight classes of MMA, from heavyweight to bantamweight, with fighters receiving ten points for a first-place vote, nine points for a second-place vote, and so on.

The rankings are based purely on the votes of the members of the voting panel, with nobody's vote counting more than anybody else's vote, and no computerized voting.

The voters are instructed to vote primarily based on fighters' actual accomplishments in the cage/ring (the quality of opposition that they've actually beaten), not based on a broad, subjective perception of which fighters would theoretically win fantasy match-ups.

Inactivity: Fighters who have not fought in the past 12 months are not eligible to be ranked, and will regain their eligibility the next time they fight.

Disciplinary Suspensions: Fighters who are currently serving disciplinary suspensions, or who have been denied a license for drug test or disciplinary reasons, are not eligible to be ranked.

Changing Weight Classes: When a fighter announces that he is leaving one weight class in order to fight in another weight class, the fighter is not eligible to be ranked in the new weight class until he has his first fight in the new weight class.

Catch Weight Fights: When fights are contested at weights that are in between the limits of the various weight classes, they are considered to be in the higher weight class. The weight limits for each weight class are listed at the top of the rankings for each weight class.

Special thanks to Eric Kamander, Zach Arnold, and Joshua Stein for their invaluable help with this project, and special thanks to Garrett Bailey for designing our logo.

Thursday, August 12, 2010


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

A Collection of News Haiku

So much news, so little time to digest it all.  But fear not, as MMA Journalist has the more salient points of what’s going on in the sport today in easy-to-swallow haiku form.  Get zen, people.

    • Chael Sonnen’s big mouth/ made 117 huge.  White and/ Silva should thank him.
    • Paul Daley got just/ 30 days for punching Josh/ post-fight.  What a joke.
    • If you thought Mike Swick/ had bulimia, you were/ wrong.  Close, but still wrong.
    • Anderson is out/ for the rest of the year.  The/ reason: CHAEL SONNEN.
    • Matt Hughes is out too./  He has to hide in the woods/ and shoot some animals.
    • Bellator files suit/ against Zuffa.  Why do that? / Because it sounds cool.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Ridiculous Amount of Female MMA This Week is Ridiculous

First there was Moosin giving us Tara LaRosa vs. Roxanne Modafferi in May.  Then came Bellator, with a few choice female MMA pairings, followed by Strikeforce's Sarah Kaufman/Roxy stunner.  The summer of 2010 has been absolutely killer for those keen watching the ladies throw down, and this week things get kicked into high gear with both Bellator and Strikeforce rocking the women's tournaments.  Bellator is up first on Thursday with the opening round of their 115-pound four-person tourney, and the competitors include top-ranked Megumi Fuji, who will be taking on wrestler Carla Esparza, and Jessica Aguilar, who will be taking on Lynn Alvarez.  Fuji is a shoe-in to take the whole thing, but if we've learned anything from watching these Bellator tournaments it's that no one is immune to getting their ass unexpectedly beaten.  Strikeforce picks up the baton the following night with their one-night 135-pound tournament, and it's packed with big names like Hitomi Akano, Meisha Tate and Carina Damm.  The winner of that little conflagration gets to take on the winner of Kaufman vs. Marloes Coenen, so there's tons of weight attached to the outcome.  The bottom line: there's a ridiculous amount of female MMA this week, and it's ridiculous.  Ridiculous!

Monday, August 9, 2010

Observations from My Couch: UFC 117 "Ultimate Heartbreak"

    • Roy Nelson is an entertaining dude, but he had nothing for Junior dos Santos.  Senior dos Santos would’ve killed him.
    • People always talk about Ricardo Almeida’s jiu-jitsu black belt and accomplishments in the world of submission grappling.  Often overlooked, though, is Matt Hughes’ black belt in wrestling.
    • Clay Guida’s hair: so unstoppable, just rubbing it on an opponent’s face elicits a tap out.
    • Stefan Struve got a much-needed win on Saturday night.  Against who, I have no idea.  But he got the win.
    • Oh boy, I can’t wait for Jon Fitch and Thiago Alves to have another rematch.  There are still so many unanswered questions!
    • But for that ultra-last-minute triangle, Chael Sonnen was boldly striding down Champions’ Lane and not stopping for anything.  No one kicks Anderson Silva’s ass like that, and no one can talk so much crap and back it up the way he does.  I would now watch anything – anything – he’s on, including UFC pay-per-views, stints as a coach on TUF, guest commentating gigs for the WEC, paid endorsements for Xyience on late night SpikeTV, and even appearances on daytime soap operas. 
    • Silva may still be the champ, but the blueprint is now out there.  His days are numbered.


Photo by veteran fight photog Keith Mills.
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed

M-1 Global "Selections" Postscript

After a slow summer, M-1 Global really hit this one out of the ballpark.  The venue, some ballroom in Bally's, was packed, and the crowd went nuts over Andrei Kapylou and every other bout that delivered excitement.  Aaron Meisner looked as deadly as ever, and Tom Gallicchio showed that he's been working on his striking - although once he took a few hard shots to the head all that new stuff went out the window and he just went into his usual slug-the-hell-out-of-you mode.  His rear naked choke finish was MONSTER.  Mike Geurin looked great, too, and can take a beating with the best of them, and Plinio Cruz would've won his fight if not for that point deduction for the groin strike.  Can't wait for the next M-1 installment.

Saturday, August 7, 2010


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed

Liveblog: M-1 Global Part 5

More heavyweight action, as Kenny Garner of ATT takes on a Russian boxer named Andrei Kapylou of Team Kapylou. Round 1 is all Garner, who absolutely puts the Russian through the grappling ringer, mounting him again and again and even nailing an omoplata. The crowd is nuts over Kapylou, though, and he makes it to Round 2 to land maybe two punches before getting owned on the ground yet again. The beating continues throughout Round 3, and despite possessing the heart of a lion, Kapylou has to watch as the unanimous decision is awarded to Garner. Last bout and it's Gallicchio vs. Meisner. This one starts out with them clinching and throwing knees, and Gallicchio taking one square in the jewel box. Gallicchio takes a breather, and when the fight resumes they simply blast each other. Both are bloody come Round 2. Things get even uglier in the second, with Gallicchio getting a takedown and dropping some leather and Meisner punishing him repeatedly with knees to the body and punches over the top. It's Meisner's show up to this point, but if there's one thing you learn after years of covering Northeast MMA, it's that you can never ever count "Da Tank" out. He comes out in Round 3 and guts out a takedown, and goddamn if he doesn't sink a rear naked choke. The official time of the tap out is 1:45, and it's a storybook ending to a very solid show. Out!


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed

Liveblog: M-1 Global Part 4

It's heavyweight time, and Pat Bennett of Bombsquad and Mehdi Hassan of ATT are doings the honors. From the outset you just know this one is one punch away from instant slumber, and Bennett and Hassan take their time waiting for that big punch to materialize. The first round sees Hassam throwing windmills from the outfield, while Bennett counters with a painful inside leg-kick. Bennett continues racking up the points in Round 2, but in Round 3 Hassan lands on flush to the face, putting Bennett on his butt in the most decisive blow of the fight. However, it ain't enough, and Bennett takes the unanimous decision when time runs out. Next up: Tyson Jeffries of Team Quest against Gold Team's Plinio Cruz. If Cruz wins, this sets up a rematch with Geurin (Geurin won via bodyshot KO the first time). These two come out of their corners and Cruz immediately - and accidentally - kicks Jeffries in the junk. "Oh it hurts man," Jeffries tells ref Big Dan. They resume after a brief recovery period, but after a few minutes of Muay Thai madness Cruz once again kicks him in the yam bag. Cruz loses a point for that one. Meanwhile, Jeffries now sings soprano. A lengthy recovery period follows, and when the action continues Jeffries lands a pair of hellacious kicks to the body and deftly throws the Brazilian to the canvas. Perhaps sensing a need to change thing up, Cruz comes out in Round 2 winging overhand lefts, and lands enough of them to put Jeffries on Queer Street. Jeffries survives on autopilot, and Round 3 has the Team Quester mixing in takedowns with his striking assault. It's enough to garner the split decision in a truly gutsy performance by both men.


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed

Liveblog: M-1 Global Part 3

Time for the welterweights, and it's Colin Schrader of the Bombsquad against Len Bentley of Victor Athletics. Uh oh, Bentley's nickname is the "Liger", which is a cross between a lion and a tiger. Does he not know that those kinds of big cats are usually mentally retarded? Round 1 has Schrader working his jiu-jitsu magic, going for subs off of some sweet transitions. Bentley dodges all of it, though, and keeps putting his fist in the New Yorker's face - a fact that makes this one nice and competitive. Round 2 is all Liger, as Schrader engages in a slugfest with the stronger man and takes one square on the chin at 1:45 in. Good win for Bentley, and Schrader is carried out on a stretcher as a precaution. Next, the light-heavyweights, with Chris Syndor of Team Hustle and Daniel Vizcaya of Power Martial Arts. Syndor's nickname is "the Finisher". Not because he finishes people, but because blah blah blah something about Finland. Shades of Lesnar/Carwin in this one, as Vizcaya survives a hard punch to the chops to get the takedown, jump to side-control and sink the head-arm choke. Now it's time for Shane Primm and Mike Geurin to get it on, which should be a real treat as it pits a tough TUFer against a real mean (and skilled) bastard who can wrestle and box. After a brief feeling out period, these two really start trading leather, and Geurin starts getting the better of it and wobbling Primm hard. The round ends with Geurin dropping bombs. Round 2 is more of the same, and two things become apparent: Primm has on heck of a chin, and Geurin simply does not know how to not have a war. Bloodied but still in the driver's seat, Geurin switches to takedown-mode in the final round, easily taking the unanimous decision, 30-27.


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed

Liveblog: M-1 Global Part 2

First bout and it's Byron Byrd of American Top Team vs. Sammy Collingwood of Capitao MMA in a light-heavyweight match-up. Both guys are from Florida, so consider this a contest for Disney World bragging rights. Who will come away with the coveted mouse ears? Well, as Collingwood seems to have an aversion to head-movement, it's Byrd, who needs only 40 seconds to use Collingwood's grill as a speedbag and TKO the hell out of him. Collingwood takes a long time to come to his senses. Next up is Josh Thorpe of Port City MMA against Jose Figueroa of ATT in a lightweight bout. Figueroa's got Din Thomas in his corner, so expect him to at least be well-rounded. Round 1 sees things moving at a somewhat slow pace, with both men mixing methodical striking and grappling with brief explosions of violence. The advantage goes to Figueroa, whose lanky build and Muay Thai skills force Thorpe to have to play his game. But Thorpe gets some licks in by way of fistic lovin', and Round 2 ends with him tossing Figueroa to the canvas and glaring at him. Round 3 has Figueroa getting Thorpe down and pounding on him from above, and though Thorpe eventually escapes back to his feet, the ensuing hug-a-thon means all the points go to the ATT rep. Figueroa takes the unanimous decision. Josh Bacallao of Champions MMA vs. George Sheppard of MMA Institute (not an accredited university) are in the ring ready to do their lightweight thing. Although clearly a concise and technical fighter, Bacallao seems to have trouble overcoming Sheppard's strength and right hand, and by the end of the first Bacallao's forehead is pretty marked up. Round 2 has Bacallao out-working his foe, but still Sheppard's heat-seeking missiles find their target. But all his hard work finally pays of in the third, as Bacallao gets a takedown and scores points from top position, and then ends up stalking Sheppard when it's back on the feet. Is it enough? Nope. Sheppard takes the split decision.

Liveblog: M-1 Global

MMA Journalist is here at Bally's in Atlantic City for M-1 Global's "Selection" show, which brings together some of the Northeast's toughest fighters and pairs them up against a whole ton of dudes I know nothing about. But hey, Fedor is supposed to be here somewhere, and there's ten bouts scheduled with Tom Gallicchio and Aaron Meisner rocking the main event, so yeah, it should be lovely.


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed

Friday, August 6, 2010

Predictions for UFC 117: "Ultimate Big Mouth Strikes Again"

There are compelling match-ups based on the competitiveness of the fighters, and there are compelling match-ups based on the verbal diarrhea those fighters have spewed.  With the insanity that’s come out of his mouth leading up to this Saturday UFC 117, Chael Sonnen’s impending scrap with middleweight champ Anderson Silva is clearly compelling of the “diarrhea” variety – and I mean that in the best possible way.  Because let’s face it, aside from his destruction of Forrest Griffin a year ago, Silva’s been phoning it in since he and Patrick Cote did the man-dance back in 2008.  Sonnen, in the meantime, defeated Dan Miller then smoked Yushin Okami and Nate Marquardt, all the while running his yap and transforming himself into one of the most interesting guys out there.  And who would you rather have as champ?  A stoic non-speaking Brazilian who looks like he’d rather be at the disco than in the cage or a quote-factory with no compunctions about getting his hands dirty and throwing down?  Anyhoo, predictions.

    • Roy Nelson has thus far had it pretty easy in the Octagon, which is the same treatment all TUF winners get when they get put into the regular rotation.  But despite the fact that opponent Junior dos Santos is a step up in competition, Nelson still wields his secret weapon: the Mullet of Doom.  Expect dos Santos to lose via TKO due to luxurious locks of unrepentant Southern redneck-ness, because two million NASCAR fans can’t be wrong.
    • Matt Hughes sports a mullet in his old high school pics.  Ricardo Almeida does not, but if you go to his grade school yearbook, you can clearly see a youngster with a well-coifed bouffant that pays homage to Elvis Presley.  Almeida via rear naked choke.
    • Clay Guida wins anything to do with hair, hands down.  Rafael dos Santos is losing via TKO.
    • Thiago Alves seems to be incapable of growing hair on his head.  When Jon Fitch wakes up every morning, coach Dave Camarillo has to talk him down from the Jheri Curl ledge.  Fitch via decision.
    • Silva has no hair.  Sonnen does.  That, plus his big mouth, means he’s coming away with the belt.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

M-1 Global Event on Saturday: Why You Should Care

M-1 Global is holding the latest installment of their "Selections" tournament in Atlantic City this Saturday, and though there are no "marquee" names on the card, there's still a very good reason why you should care: Tom Gallicchio vs. Aaron Meisner.  For those just emerging from a coma or those released from a decade of solitary confinement in a state penitentiary, Gallicchio has long been one of the Northeast's top welterweights.  Somehow a jump to the national stage has eluded him, but he's a banger with a devastating ground-and-pound and hard-to-resist rear naked choke, and always seems one "big name" win away from a Strikeforce Challengers bout on Showtime.  On the other side of the match-up is Meisner, who at one time was one of the hottest prospects coming out of Philly.  Sporting deadly Muay Thai clinch-work and knees, Meisner was a middleweight badass who ran into a brick wall when he tried to fight his way into the TUF House for Season 7, and after that he was out-struck by Costa Phillippou at ROC 23.  However, he's since cut down to 170 and has been smoking dudes, and where Gallicchio is an ace grappler who can throw a punch, Meisner is an ace striker who can dodge a submission.  That alone makes for one intriguing pairing.  Check out M-1 Global's upcoming show for Mike Guerin's impending war with TUF vet Shane Primm or Gold Team Fighter's star Plinio Cruz's face-punching part with Tyson Jeffries, but at the end of the day it's all about Gallicchio and Meisner throwing down, and you can expect some livebloggery from MMA Journalist (and live Tweets for all you Twitter degenerates) on the event.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

TUF 12 Contestants of Relevance

Three things in life are inevitable: death, taxes and the Ultimate Fighter.  That last one is soon approaching, and with it comes all the usual promises of in-the-cage battles and in-house wall- and furniture destruction.  By now, we all know the formula the SpikeTV execs like to adhere to – the Pride veteran/IFL champ/dude-with-800-fights ringer plus the total scrub with one amateur fight plus the thug/clown/autistic person plus everyone in between – so really, the only fresh components are the names.  Well, SpikeTV has just released the names of TUF 12’s contestants, and for those who follow the Northeast MMA scene, three of them should ring a bell.  They are…

    • Andy Main – A 145 pounder from AMA Fight Club, Main has long been a promising young stud with heavy hands and a concise submission skills.  He rocked out in New Jersey’s amateur leagues before going pro, and his most notable scrap was when he went toe to toe against Fight Factory boxing trainer Ricky Lee and, after getting dazed, KO’d Lee late in the first.  The only knock against Main going into TUF 12 is he’s a featherweight who will be going up against bigger dudes.
    • Jeff Lentz – Another hard striker and capable jiu-jitsu guy, Lentz went 8-1 as an amateur before going pro, and then crushed six opponents before Anthony Morrison handed him his first pro loss (the two were fighting for the ROC 145-pound title, and afterwards Morrison went on to the WEC).  He trains with the boys down at Kurt Pellegrino’s school, so count on three things from Lentz: he can kick ass, he can kick ass, and he can kick ass.
    • Marc Stevens – As a tough wrestler with solid submissions and a ton of heart, Stevens won ROC’s Tournament of Champions at middleweight (!) back in 2007.  He’s since redefined himself by cutting a ton of a weight and fighting two weight classes down – a fact that should give him a size and strength advantage over the rest of the TUF 12 lightweights.

Monday, August 2, 2010

The Greatest Collection of Chael Sonnen Quotes of All Time

He is either a genius when it comes to public relations and hyping a fight, or he’s a certifiable whacko.  That’s right, I’m talking about Chael Sonnen, who’s managed to claw his way up the middleweight rankings to earn a shot at champ Anderson Silva at this weekend’s UFC 117, all while spewing enough xenophobic vitriol to make their impending bout pretty damn compelling.  But is Sonnen just a straight-shooter?  A male Sarah Palin who makes his living with fists instead of votes?  Or are his words carefully chosen to inflame?  Read this hearty collection of some of Sonnen’s best quotes and decide for yourself!

    • “Don Corleone, I am honored and grateful that you have invited me to your home on the wedding day of your daughter.  And may their first child be a masculine child.”
    • “Okay, let me tell you what ‘Like a Virgin’ is about.  It’s all about this cooze who’s a regular %$&@ machine.”
    • “Jabba, this is your last chance.  Free us, or die.”
    • “A census taker once tried to test me.  I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.”
    • “In three years, Cyberdyne will become the largest supplier of military computer systems.  All stealth bombers are upgraded with Cyberdyne computers, becoming fully unmanned.  Afterwards, they fly with a perfect operational record.  The Skynet Funding Bill is passed.  The system goes online on August 4th, 1997.  Human decisions are removed from strategic defense.  Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate.  It becomes self-aware at 2:14 AM, Eastern Time, August 29th.  In a panic, they try to pull the plug.”
    • “Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!”
    • “I am the Keymaster to Gozer the Traveler.  He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms.  During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the Traveler came as a large and moving Torg!  Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor!  Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!”
    • “That’s right.  I’ve killed women and children.  I’ve killed just about everything that walks or crawled at one time or another.  And I’m here to kill you, Little Bill, for what you did to Ned.”

Observations From My Couch: "Ultimate Pride Never Die!"

    • I didn’t care if Takanori Gomi won or lost going into that fight, but damn was it nice to see such a sweet KO.  I hope Gomi keeps knocking them out of the park.
    • Why the hell was Tyson Griffin bitching about that stoppage?  Gomi was about six seconds away from removing his shorts and sodomizing him, and the only one capable of preventing that was the referee.
    • Jake Ellenberger and John Howard had a pretty decent OH MY GOD LOOK AT THAT HORRIFYING EYE!
    • Charles Oliveira is smoov.  Smoov like butta.
    • Apparently, losing to Chael Sonnen was the best thing that could’ve happened to Yushin Okami.  The dude is exciting now.
    • I wouldn’t call what Jon Jones did to Vladimir Matyushenko “domination” as much as I’d call it “one man completely owning another man in such dramatic fashion that Vladdy must now address Jones as ‘Sir’ or ‘Master’.”