Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Fedor To Hold Press Conference Today To Discuss How Awesome Affliction Is

The number-one ranked heavyweight fighter in the world, Fedor Emelianenko, will be holding a press conference today in Anaheim, California in the DoubleTree Hotel. The reasons behind the press conference remain cloudy, but there are a few likely possibilities, which include...
  • He wants to talk about how awesome Affliction is. He totally loves them and considers them the most viable alternative to the UFC.
  • He wants to discuss the many ways he will defeat Josh Barnett. Barnett is tough but he's just a man. Besides, it's not like the Baby-Faced Assassin uses steroids or anything.
  • He plans on addressing his grievances against the UFC, and outlining how he and the organization can come to terms.
  • He is going to confess that he's not Russian at all. As the vast majority of his body parts were made in a cybernetic-construct factory from a scorched and war-torn future that knows no national boundaries, he's really just a Terminator.
  • He's going to retire.