Wednesday, July 16, 2008
This just in! Famed celebrity gossip website TMZ.com is reporting that former UFC light-heavyweight champ Quinton "Rampage" Jackson has been arrested for felony hit and run in California. Sources on the scene say that Rampage, while hopped up on goofballs, chased by paparazzi and on the phone with hotel heiress Paris Hilton, drove his monster truck over Lindsay Lohan's lawn (crushing three Tiffany's garden gnomes in the process) then struck two parked cars before police were able to catch up with him. LAPD officers allegedly zapped the UFC star with tasers and beat him with nightsticks while shouting racial epithets. Said "Friends" actress Jennifer Aniston: "Oh, it's horrible." Stay tuned for more as TMZ.com reports the unbiased news to us.