Monday, May 11, 2009

"The Key to Lyoto Machida's Success Lies in His Katas"

When top 205-pound contender Lyoto Machida steps into the Octagon to face champ Rashad Evans at UFC 98 on May 23rd, the Japanese-Brazilian Shotokan karate practitioner will almost certainly have his hands full with the champ's powerful wrestling and always-dangerous striking skills. But according to homeless karate master Sho'nuff, who was formerly the Shogun of Harlem but is now an itinerant ronin who collects empty soda cans, victory is entirely within Machida's grasp. "The key to Lyoto Machida's success lies in his katas," says Sho'nuff. "If he practices his technique to the point where he reaches the 'Final Level', well, that mofo will have 'The Glow'. Know wa mean?" But what of Evans' devastating KO power and athleticism? According to Sho'nuff, if Machida is bathed in the mythical Glow, nothing the TUF 2 winner brings into the cage will matter. "Who's the meanest? Who's the prettiest? Who's the baddest mofo, lowdown, around this town? If he's got the Glow, it will be that Brazilian cat. Trust me on this one, homeboy." Added the bedraggled-looking former competitor: "Say, brother, can you loan me a dollar?"