Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Gina Carano Speculates Wildly, Predicts Plagues and Apocalypse

The eagerly-anticipated match-up between Gina Carano and Cristiane "Cyborg" Santos has yet to be formalized, but erstwhile female MMA superstar Carano recently gave an interview where she speculated wildly about the near future, dropping hints to fans everywhere as to when Carano vs. Cyborg may happen. "And now I saw a pale horse, and its rider's name was 'Death'," said Carano, who went from marquee fighter with EliteXC to contractual limbo with Strikeforce in recent months. "And there followed after him another horse whose rider's name was 'Hell'. They were given control of one-fourth of the earth, to kill with war and famine and disease and wild animals." Carano's last venture into the cage was in October, when she defeated Kelly Kobold by unanimous decision. Rumors have abounded concerning her return. When pressed for an exact date, Carano responded, "Here is wisdom. He who has understanding, let him calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man. His number is six hundred sixty-six." No word yet from Strikeforce to confirm if this is the date of a Showtime event or CBS event. Stay tuned for more.

April 25th UWC to Feature Mike Easton Executing Another Poor Soul

Unless Mike Easton's opponent has fought in the WEC or was invited to DREAM's 135-pound tournament but turned it down because he hates Japan, it's a sure bet that whoever Easton faces at the Ultimate Warrior Challenge will die. Sadly, such is the case with Josh Ferguson, who will be taking on DC's best fighter at the UWC: "Capital Punishment" event at the Patriot Center on April 25th. Who is Ferguson? Well, that doesn't really matter at this point, although his tombstone will probably say something like "Grappler Who Wasn't Ready For Easton's Kind of Badness". Expect "The Hulk" to execute another poor soul at the top of another exciting UWC.