Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Great Text Messages in MMA History

In the old days, people used smoke signals to communicate over long distances.  Then came the Pony Express, which was great if you didn’t mind your letters getting to their destination weeks later and reeking of sweaty horse.  Email sped things up greatly, but near-instantaneous communication wasn’t achieved until the advent of the text message.  Yes, the text message, something nearly everyone with a cellular telephone has access to, and something that allows for the immediate gratification of needing only seconds to either tell someone you hate them or tell someone you love them.  Or both!  Well, thanks to a Freedom of Information Act request and a cousin that works in the National Security Agency, MMA Journalist has gotten a hold of a slew of private communiqu├ęs exceedingly relevant to this industry.  So get ready for… great text messages in MMA history!

    • Dana White to Joe Silva, moments after Fedor lost to Fabricio Werdum on Saturday night: “Make Vadim offer, Fedor worth 20 and 20 - cents!”
    • Joe Silva to Dana White: "LOL!  U so crazy!"
    • Werdum to wife, moments after he defeated Fedor: “OMG! Still alive! Yes!!!”
    • Cris “Cyborg” Santos to husband, not long after she defeated Jan Finney: “Hungry for more blood. Stop by grocery store, pick up bag boy.”
    • Scott Coker to Gina Carano, after the ratings were released for Saturday night’s Strikeforce event on Showtime: “Please come back.  Please.”
    • Dana White to Sherdog, pretty much once a month: “I hate you, please die.  K thanx bye.”
    • Dana White to Kevin Iole of Yahoo! Sports, prior to their last interview: “Hey, make sure to get my dry cleaning on your way over.  Remember: extra starch.”
    • Brock Lesnar to Shane Carwin, after Fedor lost on Saturday night: “Crap, our bout might actually mean something now.  I wish I had trained.  I’ve only been drinking Coors Lite and lying on top of my wife.”
    • Shane Carwin to Brock Lesnar: “Can’t talk, Brock. Working double-shift at Home Depot to make up for paltry fight purse.”
    • New York State Assembly to Dana White: “Getting close.  Send more money.”