Friday, October 8, 2010

Predictions for Strikeforce: "Diaz vs. Noons II vs. Post-Fight Riot"

It’s time once again for the number two MMA organization in the world to grace us with another offering, and this time Strikeforce presents us with a four-fight card on Showtime that will likely yield way more than four fights (how many fights go into a riot?).  You see, the main event on Saturday night will feature a rematch between Nick “Proposition 19” Diaz and KJ Noons, and if there’s one thing that these two guys are good at, it’s post-bout melees.  But oh the questions that prospect raises!  Will Nate Diaz stab KJ Noons’ dad with a stale pretzel?  Will Nick’s weed stash get trampled on?  Will the two opposing camps break into a “West Side Story” song and dance number?  (*Fingers snapping* “Be cool, Nick, be cool.”)  At this point in time, no one knows.  But here are some predictions.

  • Tyron Woodley is a stud wrestler.  Andre Galvao is a stud jiu-jitsu guy.  Given Strikeforce’s luck lately, Woodley and Galvao will engage in an uninspired stand-up sparring match reminiscent of when your overweight uncle Jeff did Tae Kwon Do back in the ‘80s.
  • Josh Thomson and Gesias “JZ” Cavalcante are two of the best in their division, and very exciting fighters.  Another thing they have in common: they’re held together by duct tape.  The winner is going to be the dude who doesn’t literally fall to pieces first.
  • Sarah Kaufman: smash.  Smash hard.
  • Marloes Coenen: be smashed.
  • Diaz vs. Noons is actually a very compelling match-up in terms of their respective boxing abilities.  Lately, no one’s been able to cope with what Professor Cannabis brings to the table, and Noons absolutely wrecked Jorge Gurgel.  Who’s going to win?  I don’t know, but it’s going to be a fun ride.