Monday, June 15, 2009

Tim Sylvia's Dignity: Dead at Age 33

The fight community is in mourning today over the death of former UFC heavyweight champ Tim Sylvia's dignity, which was felled via ten-second knockout at the hands of 48-year-old ex-boxing champ Ray Mercer at Adrenaline III on Saturday night and expired on the canvas soon after. The bout, which was proposed for New Jersey but moved to commission-less Alabama when the NJSACB scoffed at the match-up, drew plenty of ire from fans who viewed it as nothing more than a farce. Nonetheless, Sylvia/Mercer garnered attention, and that attention - coupled with Sylvia showing up at an out-of-shape 310-pounds - conspired to create a situation both dangerous and deadly. "We did the best we could to revive it," said ringside physician Dr. Harlan Clarence. "But ultimately there was nothing we could do. The damage done to Mr. Sylvia's dignity was just too great." Funeral services will be held in Bettendorf, Iowa. In lieu of flowers, Sylvia's camp asks that people send cheeseburgers instead.

Observations From My Couch: Bellator FC Welterweight Finals

  • If I were an athletic commissioner I never would've approved Uriah Hall's match-up against Edwin Aguilar, as Hall had one MMA bout to his record compared to Aguilar's 34. I'm glad I'm not an athletic commissioner. Hall kicked some serious butt.
  • Nick Pace: great flying knee KO, awful victory dance. You're a killer, man, but seriously, what the hell was that?
  • Did Justin Torrey and Matt Makowski have an agreement to look as much alike as possible? Because with their bald heads, frames and shorts, I damn sure couldn't keep track of who was who.
  • Jake Ellenberger didn't just knock Marcelo Alfaya out, he took away some of Alfaya's IQ points. I think Alfaya now has to relearn how to drive a car and tie his shoelaces.
  • Lyman Good is the reason why superheroes should not be fighting regular humans in MMA bouts. It's just unfair.

Observations From My Couch: UFC 99

  • Dan Hardy is a big pile of I AM NOT IMPRESSED.
  • Caol Uno came to grapple and Spencer Fisher came to flee. Why was Fisher awarded the decision?
  • Is it me or do German fans act like retarded Southern rednecks? And what's with rubbing a fighter's head when he's walking to the cage?
  • Mick Swick is a badass. Ben Saunders is the exact opposite of a badass.
  • I don't know what happened to the Mirko CroCop who used to thrill us in Pride, but damn do I miss him.
  • Cheick Kongo, why are you wrestling that guy? Stop it. You're a kickass striker, not a kickass grappler.
  • Watching Wanderlei Silva fight nowadays is like watching your drunk uncle get into fist fights on his lawn. You love the guy, but damn does it get ugly.