Tuesday, March 10, 2009

TUF 9 Competitors Revealed

The list of competitors for the ninth season of "The Ultimate Fighter" has been revealed in a press release from SpikeTV. An eclectic mix of lightweights and welterweights from here and abroad, the roster (which includes coaches Dan Henderson and Michael Bisping, who will helm Team US and Team UK, respectively) is filled with names that may be unknown to the general public. To prime fans for the April 1st debut, MMA Journalist has picked out a few notable contestants. They are:
  • Fatty McFat, Team UK, welterweight - the guy who can't make weight for his first fight and who gets replaced by Dark Horse O'Houlihan.
  • Joe Scumbag, Team US, lightweight - the kid stricken with bi-polar disorder who alternates between acting like a gentleman and a jackass. He shows a modicum of talent, but everyone hates him and (rightfully) views him as a ticking time bomb. No matter who he stabs or poisons, Dana White will never boot him from the TUF house. Ratings, you know.
  • Ian Noexperience, Team UK, lightweight - the chum the other sharks in the house will eat.
  • A glass of water, Team US, welterweight - he gets drunk a lot, providing constant entertainment for viewers.
  • Iwanna Breakstuff, Team US, lightweight - the man in charge of demolishing any and all furniture he can get his hands on.
  • Chuck Liddell, Team US, light-heavyweight - under the influence of an assortment of prescription drugs and cough medicine, the former champ wanders confused and incoherent into the TUF house. No one is able to get him to leave.
  • The Silver Surfer, Team US, welterweight - the ringer brought in with the expectation that he'll win it all.
  • Patty Garblemouf, Team UK, lightweight - the talented fighter with the accent so thick, no one - not even his own teammates - can understand him. Even the subtitles that appear on screen whenever he speaks make no sense.
  • The TUF house foosball table, Team IKEA, welterweight - having survived last season relatively intact, the foosball table returns to risk life and limb once more.