Wednesday, November 4, 2009

UFC Match-Up Scorecard

Brock Lesnar is out with the flu. Anderson Silva has a bum elbow. Lyoto Machida is suffering from urine overdose. Kurt Pellegrino hurt his back. Todd Duffee sprained his chalupa. The plethora of injuries and illnesses that have stricken UFC fighters in recent weeks has left fans' heads spinning, and have of course left matchmaker Joe Silva scrambling to fill upcoming cards. So who's fighting who now that Lesnar vs. Shane Carwin is off and Silva vs. Vitor Belfort is on ice? Fear not, because MMA Journalist has compiled a list of new match-ups for easy reference!
  • Tito Ortiz vs. Forrest Griffin 2 to headline UFC 106 now that Lesnar vs. Carwin is off. The co-main event will be paint drying vs. two flies having sex.
  • Heavyweight fighter Shane Carwin will now face former bantamweight champ Miguel Torres at WEC 46. The event is titled WEC 46: "Urijah Faber Is Not Fighting On This Card".
  • Lightweight stud Frankie Edgar's TUF 10 bout against Pellegrino is off, so instead Edgar will sing a collection of Neil Diamond's greatest hits.
  • With Duffee out, heavyweight slugger Paul Buentello will now take on Colin James Hay, the lead singer from Australian 80s band "Men at Work".
  • As the eagerly-anticipated rematch between Machida and Mauricio "Shogun" Rua has been postponed indefinitely, Shogun will now meet judge Cecil Peoples in the cage.
  • Junie Browning - still on drugs, still not in the UFC.