Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Predictions for UFC 104: "Concentrate, Daniel-San - Wax On, Wax Off"

UFC 104 approaches, and with it comes the latest installment of the popular "The Karate Kid" series. When last we left Daniel-San, he was victorious in defeating the bully Rashad Evans. But his Crane Technique can only carry him so far, and his next opponent - the Shogun of Harlem - is the baddest mo-fo, low-down around this town. Will Daniel-San emerge victorious? Or will he face doom in the Octagon and forever be known as "The Last Dragon"? Predictions!
  • Lyoto Machida will win. He's been drinking his own urine, and that's some serious karate right there.
  • I'm really aggravated that Yahoo! Sports used my "Is Cain Able?" line before I could get it up. That kind of witty Biblical analogy is this blog's bread and butter. Dammit.
  • Ben Rothwell: the man, the myth, the buffet killer.
  • I don't know who's going to win between Gleison Tibau and Josh Neer, but one thing is for sure: somehow, some way, Neer is going to wind up pissed off.
  • Spencer "the King" Fisher is going to out-point Joe Stevenson, but the California State Athletic Commission will change the result to a "no contest" when they find out that Fisher is not, in fact, a king.
  • Anthony Johnson by pure, unadulterated blackness.