Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
- Erik Apple handily defeated the game Matt Makowski via rear naked choke in the second round. As a consolation to Makowski, Apple allegedly gave him two porn stars at the afterparty.
- Jaime Jara, bedecked in a variety of tattoos that includes the word "hate" across his chest, out-pointed Giva Santana for the win. Jara will now return to his full-time job running a day care center for young children.
- Malipet is living proof that Thais with one name are serious badasses on the feet. He's also living proof that Thais with one name suck on the ground.
- Wilson Reis went five rounds with Abel Cullum to snag the EliteXC Bantamweight Championship. After the event, Reis dragged the belt back to his burrow, where it will sit with his winter supply of acorns and nuts.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
- Is Frank Mir shouting instructions for both fighters during the fights? Holy confusing, Batman!
- Ido Pariente is the highest-profile fighter Israel has produced. For choking Pariente out, Efrain Escuadero can expect a visit from Mossad sometime soon.
- John "Huggy Bear" Polakowski apparently has no qualms about embracing another man in times of happiness and celebration. Mir, on the other hand, employs a rigid three-second rule. Expect hilarity in upcoming episodes with Polakowski running around the gym with open arms and Mir hiding under the Octagon.
- The preview at the end of the episode provided brief glimpses of the rest of the season, including drunkenness (surprise!), rowdiness (no way!) and Dana White telling the cast to "beat each other off". It looks like TUF's heterosexual leanings will remain intact.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Last night saw the season eight premiere of "The Ultimate Fighter" on SpikeTV, a season dubbed "Team Nogueira vs. Team Mir" that requires captions whenever the Brazilian coach speaks. Excellent. I think the Zuffa and SpikeTV are prepping viewers for a future season where no one speaks any English and contestants live in a big hut deep in some distant jungle. A few things gleaned from the first episode:
- There are rumors that when the DVD of this season comes out, viewers will be able to remove the blurriness that obscured Jason Guida's junk when he was rolling around in his towel.
- Krzysztof Soszynski is an IFL veteran with an 15-8-1 according to Sherdog.com. Does this guy really need to be on TUF facing noobs like Mike Stewart? I think there's a SpikeTV producer out there pulling the strings, and he's got a very dangerous sense of humor.
- Phillipe Nover fainted not from the heat or dehydration, but because he was in the presence of Dana White. Nover has a history of fainting in the presence of superstars; he was backstage at a Barbara Streisand concert and accidentally ran into Babs herself by the vending machine. Boom! Out cold.
- Why you got to knee Brian McLaughlin in the grill when he's on the ground? Not cool, man. Not cool.
- Junie Browning vs. Jose Aguilar was a battle between the douchebag and the dipshit. The fans lose in these match-ups every single time.
- Houston Alexander is built like an action figure and always seems one punch away from knocking someone out. Unfortunately, he needs to be told that mixed martial arts involves at least some grappling, and that he therefore must train in it.
- Alan Belcher looked impressive out-striking and out-working Ed Herman, but who the heck thought it was a good idea for him to wear that diaper? Is he incontinent?
- Mac Danzig had nothing on Clay Guida's relentless offense. It may be time for that steak, Mac.
- Nate Diaz was composed as all hell and very Kazushi Sakuraba-esqe in his transitions and escapes. However, I'm left with a burning question after his bout last night: does the kid eat? Nate, I don't know what Zuffa is paying you, but if you need food I will totally buy you a case of ramen noodles or something.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
- "Mister Slice is, I daresay, a formidable foe, but my skills at pugilism will prove superior." - Ken Shamrock
- "We are in for a donnybrook, chaps. A right donnybrook." - Kimbo Slice
- "The world shall see a Shamrock well-trained and well-prepared. I am feasting on plates of beef steak and roasted chicken daily." - Ken Shamrock
- "He may have his finely-prepared meats, but I have my diet of freshly-baked bread to rely on." -Kimbo Slice
- "Mister Slice and esteemed coach Bas Rutten are in for a surprise, for no amount of training can prepare a man for the fisticuffs Mister Slice and I will engage in." - Ken Shamrock
- "Best of luck to you, old chap. Best of luck." -Kimbo Slice
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
Thursday, September 4, 2008
- At light-heavyweight, IFL vet Brendan Barrett will be taking on striker Constantinos Phillippou. Barrett's got an impressive resume and a wealth of skills in all areas, but Phillippou is part of Team Serra/Longo's next generation of badasses - and he came really close to earning a decision against 205-pound top dog Ricardo Romero in his MMA debut. Expect these two to trade some serious leather.
- At welterweight, BCX champ Greg Soto returns to action (he's been sidelined with a shoulder injury for a while) to face Doug Gordon. Soto is a wrestling machine, a capable jiu-jitsu guy, and a handful for anyone, whereas Gordon is strong as hell, not shy about dispensing a beating, and by far Soto's toughest test to date. This one is going to be all about who can stay on top and impose their game plan.
- At middleweight, Team Serra/Longo vet James Gabert returns to battle Team Tiger Schulmann brawler Nissim Levy. Both men are skilled on the ground, but if they were presented with a buffet that included big plates of armbars, leglocks and chokes, they'd choose healthy portions of "punches to the face" and go back for seconds and thirds.
- At welterweight, New Jersey MMA pioneer Jose Rodriguez will square off against ROC Tournament of Champions winner Marc Stevens. Rodriguez has heavy hands, Stevens has great wrestling, and by the end someone is going to wind up bleeding or unconscious. Maybe both.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
The WEC, home of champion hamster Urijah Faber and some of the best "little fellas" in mixed martial arts, will reportedly be getting rid of their heavier 185-pound and 205-pound weight classes some time in the future. This means the following changes will be implemented:
- Middleweight champ Paulo Filho and light-heavyweight golden boy Brian Stann will migrate to the UFC, where they'll promptly be killed by legitimate competition.
- The cage will be fitted with a giant magnifying glass so viewers can better see the action within and the combatants.
- Two new divisions - the microscopic division and the molecular division - will be added.
- Events will be hosted at the Hard Rock Hotel in Munchkinland, Oz. Also, the Shire.
- Frank Mir will no longer interview the bout winner then turn around and eat the loser.