Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Anderson Silva and Roy Jones Jr. Agree to Tantalize and Torment Fans Interested in Match-Up

UFC middleweight demigod Anderson Silva and boxing legend Roy Jones Jr. have agreed to relentlessly tantalize and torment fans interested in a match-up between the two, according to a report issued today by the Internet. Silva and Jones have proposed to dangle the idea of their meeting in the Octagon before fight-hungry fans indefinitely, and have even gone so far as to agree to facing each other under MMA rules - despite assurances from UFC Chief Scrooge Dana White that the bout would never happen. "I'd rather let another organization have Roy Jones Jr.," said White. "The UFC isn't about making money or pleasing fans. We'll leave that to someone else." Meanwhile, Strikeforce honcho Scott Coker released a statement, emphatically crying out "Oooh! Me! Me! Me!"

"Smokin'" Joey Villasenor to Give Up Smoking, Cites Health Reasons

"Smokin'" Joey Villasenor, a Greg Jackson-trained fighter from New Mexico known for his hard-hitting style and penchant for tobacco products, has announced his commitment to give up smoking. Citing health reasons and increasing statistical evidence that smoking can cause lung cancer and heart disease, Villasenor vowed in a statement to MMA Journalist that his "days of going through a carton of cigarettes and a box of cigars are through." "No more, man," said the veteran of Pride, the WFA and Strikeforce. "I owe it to myself, my loved ones and my coach. Smokin' Joe is done smoking." When pressed about the matter further, Villasenor conceded that he will continue to chew tobacco. "Yeah, you can call me Chewin' Tobacco Joe now." Villasenor is set to face Evangelista "Cyborg" Santos at Strikeforce Challengers June 19th event, which will be broadcast live on Showtime.