Observations From My Couch: Strikeforce "Miami Vice"

• In last night's episode, Nick "Crockett" Diaz went deep undercover to face Lithuanian drug smuggler Marius Zaromskis. So far undercover, in fact, that after wrecking Zaromskis, Diaz was too stoned to take his postfight drug test.
• Cris "Tubbs" Cyborg engaged in shootout with Dutch human trafficker Marloes Coenen on the pier. Then Cyborg ate her.
• Like a Colombian hit man honing in on a disloyal street dealer, Robbie Lawler just straight up assassinated Melvin Manhoef. We're talking the kind of assassination where there's brains splattered all over the sidewalk and no witnesses because everyone is too scared to testify.
• Lieutenant Herschel Walker totally dropped the hammer on his subordinates.
• Wes Sims sucked.

New Jersey Fun Facts: 2009 Edition

Did you know…?

• There were 45 sanctioned MMA events in New Jersey in 2009.
• Of these events, there were 125 professional MMA bouts.
• There were also 346 amateur MMA bouts.
• Referee Dan Miragliotta used 671 bottles of tanning lotion.
• A total of 13 people died eating spoiled food from the staff cafeteria within the Tropicana Casino & Resort in Atlantic City (which hosts the Ring of Combat events).  No one complained, however, because it was free.
• The UFC held zero events within the Garden State, which is the same number they held there in 2008.
• Asylum Fight League promoter Carl Mascarenhas killed a man just because he thought the man looked at him funny.
• No manatees were harmed at any sanctioned MMA events over the course of the year – which is a new safety record for the State of New Jersey!

Predictions for Strikeforce: "Miami" - Or, "How I Learned To Love Freakshows"

Strikeforce: "Miami" is this weekend, and offering is a mixture of strong and solid and compelling matchmaker with a big dose of "What? What the hell are they smoking?" In the "strong and solid and compelling" column are gems like Nick Diaz vs. Marius Zaromskis, Cris Cyborg vs. Marloes Coenen and Melvin Manhoef vs. Robbie Lawler - a trio of bouts that would make an true MMA fan want to gnaw on their television. Meanwhile, in the "what the hell are they smoking" column... ex-pro wrestler Bobby Lashley and ex-football great Herschel Walker. Seriously? Lashley and Walker? Clearly someone at Strikeforce owns a huge bong, and the thing has been getting a lot of use lately. Anyhoo, predictions!

• Zaromskis is a killer Lithuan striker and hot prospect right now, but his crowning achievement is icing Mach Sakurai. It's too soon for him to be facing Diaz.
• Cyborg is going to get Coenen down, tear open her stomach, and eat the poor Dutchwoman's entrails. No, really. And when the ref gets too close, he's going to get it as well.
• Manhoef by KO, unless Lawler goes for a takedown. Then Manhoef will flail around like a turtle stuck on his back.
• Walker via touchdown!
• Lashley is taking on Wes Sims, who's a last-minute opponent who, though experienced, hasn't trained for this bout. I think I need to take a hit off that bong...

Chuck Liddell: "I Still Have About Four Brain-Damaging Concussions Left In Me"

Despite a string of crushing losses that saw him plummet from the top of the light-heavyweight heap to the bottom, aging ex-champ Chuck Liddell insists that the desire to get into the cage and compete burns within him, and that he’s far from done.  “I still have about four brain-damaging concussions left in me,” says the kickboxer-turned-MMA superstar-turned-failed dancer, whose last tango in the Octagon left him unconscious and then incoherent for months after.  “I mean, Dana [White] doesn’t want me to fight anymore, but what does he know?  He’s not a neurologist.”  It was, however, a board-certified neurologist who declared Liddell’s cognitive abilities “perilously close to vegetable status – like a zucchini or squash or something” – due to trauma sustained by knockouts at the hands of Quinton Jackson, Rashad Evans and Mauricio “Shogun” Rua (three of Liddell’s last four opponents).  “The Iceman” is currently in Las Vegas for the filming of the upcoming season of “The Ultimate Fighter”, which will see him serve as a coach for the eleventh season opposite longtime rival Tito Ortiz.  It’s assumed that after TUF 11 ends, Liddell will face Ortiz for a third time in the UFC in a bout no one really cares to see.

Upcoming UCL to Feature Ex-Con vs. Funaro Brother

Usually, when you go to an underground show you never know who’s going to fight.  Not so with the upcoming installment of the Underground Combat League, which will feature ex-convict nicknamed “Wargod” against veteran MMA fighter Joe Funaro in what will be the culmination of one heck of an Internet tempest in a digital teacup.  For those out of the loop, Wargod was at the center of an online witch hunt, which spilled over into reality when Wargod confronted one of his non-anonymous accusers (James Funaro, twin brother to Joe) at his gym.  Now it’s Joe’s turn to throw down.  Is this a bad-blood kind of match-up?  By all accounts, no, there’s no bad blood there at all.  But based on the amount of attention and press it’s garnered, this is most certainly a bout people want to see.  Who will win?  Based on MMA experience alone, Joe has the edge, and being younger, and possessing of a wide range of fight skills, doesn’t hurt his cause.  Wargod – a self-described “big puncher” – has a chance, but the odds aren’t in his favor.  Of course, only time will tell.

Deconstructing Governor Paterson's Proposed NY MMA Bill

Yeah, so, Governor David Paterson wants MMA in New York State and he wants it now, and he even had his people draw up a bill that would make it legal and kosher and approved by nine out of ten dentists who chew Trident gum. That’s right, it’s a brand-spanking new bill to legalize MMA and quite unlike the one that was almost passed last year, this one full of all sorts of goodies like tax rates and payouts based on attendance and what I think is Braille (it’s hard to tell over the Internet). Anyway, MMA Journalist has examined the text, and here are some of the more salient points:

• “Combative sports” are still banned and “martial arts” are not, with professional mixed martial arts falling under the “martial arts” exception. “Professional mixed martial arts” is defined as any MMA bout where the participants are paid (or receive some form of compensation). Translation: hello unpaid amateur MMA loophole! Here, sit down and have a drink. You know, we thought you were going to leave us, but instead it looks like you’re here to stay.
• A “professional mixed martial arts participant” is defined as any paid fighter, or coach, or trainer, or someone who “pursues or assists in the practice of mixed martial arts” for dough. Translation: the State can regulate everybody who makes a buck off the sport – and even regulate gyms where sparring occurs.
• “No person or entity shall have, either directly or indirectly, any financial interest in a professional mixed martial arts participant competing on premises owned or leased by the person or entity, or in which such person or entity is otherwise interested.” Translation: I guess venue owners can’t bet on or sponsor fighters?
• No mismatches allowed. However, “nothing in this subdivision shall authorize the commission to intervene… solely on the basis of the difference between respective participant’s martial arts disciplines.” Translation: Muay Thai vs. Tai Chi is a go!
• “No participant shall be allowed to participate in more than three matches or exhibitions or compete for more than sixty minutes within seventy-two consecutive hours.” Translation: eight-man tournaments are good; sixteen-man tournaments are bad. Very bad.
• All promoters must have insurance coverage for the fighters. If a fighter is injured, the minimum limit of coverage is fifty-thousand bucks. If a fighter dies, the minimum limit is a hundred-thousand bucks. Translation: getting injured and dying might be worthwhile. For your family, at least.

MMA in New York is Ridiculously Close - But Will New York Be Ready?

The score thus far: a number of legislators are for it, as is former Governor George Pataki, the man who helped ban it back in 1997. Now current Governor David Paterson is pushing for the legalization of pro MMA in New York with his new budget proposal - all of which means we're now ridiculously close to having more than just underground shows in the Empire State. But a new question arises amidst all this sudden optimism: when the sport is legalized, will New York State be ready? According to Governor Paterson's budget proposal, the state anticipates a recurring net revenue of $1.37 million, and to snag that revenue, "Additional staffing is recommended for the Athletic Commission to regulate the conduct of professional mixed martial arts competitions in the State." Additional staffing would include everything from capable referees and judges, to inspectors (usually tasked with making sure nothing shady goes on backstage and ringside), to physicians, to folks on the administrative level (someone's got to push the paper). That's a lot of hiring (which requires funding) - and a lot of training (which requires funding) - and perhaps the biggest reason UFC brass et al. predict no MMA shows in New York until the fourth quarter of 2010. If Governor Paterson gets his way, we could see a signed bill legalizing pro MMA by April. However, don't drink all your champagne then; a state-run show would likely take a while after that.

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Liveblog: Evolution AMMA Part 4

Noel Arcibal and Andre Bonaventa are up, and Arcibal appears to have his own cheering section. Bonaventa does not, and instead must rely on his wrestling and pure meaness - which he uses to get Arcibal down in the first. It's all stand-up in Round 2 and Bonaventa gets the worst of it, but in the final round he scores with a slam and winds up on the bottom. When time runs out Arcibal takes the decision. Last fight and it's Mike Galvez vs. Alex Conover. Round 1 is a grappling chessmatch, with Conover taking top position and Galvez going for a variety of subs from the bottom. Round 2 is more of the same, but with a close kimura and a head/arm choke, Conover is one move ahead. However, the doc stops the fight before Round 3 due to a cut on Galvez's eye, giving Conover the win. Good effort by both men.

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Liveblog: Evolution AMMA Part 3

Marvin Menjivar and Luis Hernandez square off, with Hernandez introducing his right hand to Menjivar's face and the hand and the face courting each other like lovers, giddy in Paris in the springtime. The romance continues into the second round, and though Menjivar's leg tries to break them up, those jealous kicks mean naught when Cupid is involved. Hernandez gets the TKO win at 2:06 of Round 3, and the right hand and the face live happily ever after. Jimmy Orfanos and Jamie Hadzima enter the cage and square off and then do battle. In the opening round, Hadzima ties Orfanos in knots, and with black belt coach Steve Williams shouting instructions, Hadzima secures a kimura at 2:06 of Round 2 for the finish. It's time for Edir Terry and Danny Massa to do the dance, and for them, the dance is akin to a Jitterbug on meth (ie, it's fast and furious). Round 1 has Massa blazing away with punches, and in Round 2 Terry takes a nutbuster and needs to some time to mourn his dead heuvos. After a restart, Terry comes out firing off kicks and the nails the takedown, and in Round 3 Terry gets another takedown and attempts some ground and pound. Time runs out with the two fighting as hard as when they first began. Good match. The decision could go either way, but ultimately, the split decision goes to Terry.

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Liveblog: Evolution AMMA Part 2

Melvis Figueroa takes the cage to face Kenneth Rivera. Rivera is a Rhino Fight Team badass who fights hard and often, so like Ozzy, he's also one to watch. Round 1 is fast-paced, with Rivera landing a few on the feet and Figueroa gaining mount and holding onto it like it was a Golden Ticket into Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. Round 2 sees Rivera slamming his opponent over and over again, while in the final round Figueroa starts throwing out sub attempts that Rivera really has to work to get out of. Rivera takes the split decision when time runs out. Leo Hernandez is up and he's taking on Greg Urso. Hernandez fights out of the Freestyle Fighting Academy in Miami - that's one badass commute, and he makes the most of it by using Urso's face as a punching bag in the first round. Urso inexplicably keeps turning his back and casually walking away, and by the second round he just does not seem to want to be in there. Mercifully, Hernandez gets him down, takes his back and sinks the choke at 1:31 of Round 2. Jordan Figueroa is up and he's facing Billy Dee Williams. Most remember Williams for his role as Lando Calrissian, but he also did great work as the spokesman for Colt 45 malt liquor. We'll see if he's still got the magic. And he does for the first round, throwing leather with authority and going all original owner of the Millenium Falcom/Mayor of Bespin the Cloud city on his foe. Figueroa pays him back in kind in Round 2 by getting on top and staying there, but Williams does the same in the final round and takes the decision.

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Liveblog: Evolution AMMA Part 1

MMA Journalist is here in Dover, New Jersey, for the debut of Evolution AMMA, a new addition to the Garden State amateur scene. Veteran coach Steve Katz is the matchmaker, and a things seem to be running smoothly for a first-time show. I just ran into TSMMA trainer Dave Tirelli, who's taking the plunge as a referee; he's pretty excited about that. First bout: Kyle Jergensen vs. Gerald Javier, which is a pairing between two 122-pound warriors who are young and hungry. Seriously, they're starving. I think I'm going to offer them some Fritos. And to prove my point, Javier overwhelms his opponent with fists for the 23-second TKO win. Next up, Ozzy Dugulubgov against Chris Wunder. Dugulubov is one tough cat with a sambo background, and the last time he fought he gave Matt Serra-trained Frank Oyague a hell of time, so he's definitely one to watch. Wow, Ozzy is large and in charge from beginning to end, throwing Wunder down and snagging the armbar at 1:29.

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January 2010 Indpendent World MMA Rankings

The January 2010 Independent World MMA Rankings have been released. These rankings are independent of any single MMA media outlet or sanctioning body, and are published on multiple web sites.

In addition to the numerous MMA web sites that publish the Independent World MMA Rankings, you can also access the rankings at any time by going to http://www.independentworldmmarankings.com/.

Some of the best and most knowledgeable MMA writers from across the MMA media landscape have come together to form one independent voting panel. These voting panel members are, in alphabetical order: Zach Arnold (Fight Opinion); Nicholas Bailey (MMA Ratings); Jared Barnes (Freelance); Jordan Breen (Sherdog); Jim Genia (Full Contact Fighter, MMA Memories, and MMA Journalist Blog); Jesse Holland (MMA Mania); Robert Joyner (Freelance); Todd Martin (CBS Sportsline); Jim Murphy (The Savage Science); Zac Robinson (Sports by the Numbers MMA); Leland Roling (Bloody Elbow); Michael David Smith (AOL Fanhouse); Jonathan Snowden (Heavy.com); Joshua Stein (MMA Opinion); Ivan Trembow (Freelance); and Dave Walsh (Head Kick Legend).

January 2010 Independent World MMA Rankings
Ballots collected on January 12, 2010

Heavyweight Rankings (206 to 265 lbs.)
1. Fedor Emelianenko (31-1, 1 No Contest)
2. Brock Lesnar (4-1)
3. Frank Mir (13-4)
4. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (32-5-1, 1 No Contest)
5. Shane Carwin (11-0)
6. Brett Rogers (10-1)
7. Junior dos Santos (10-1)
8. Alistair Overeem (32-11, 1 No Contest)
9. Cain Velasquez (7-0)
10. Fabricio Werdum (13-4-1)

Light Heavyweight Rankings (186 to 205 lbs.)
1. Lyoto Machida (16-0)
2. Mauricio "Shogun" Rua (18-4)
3. Rashad Evans (14-1-1)
4. Quinton Jackson (30-7)
5. Anderson Silva (25-4)
6. Gegard Mousasi (27-2-1)
7. Forrest Griffin (17-6)
8. Antonio Rogerio Nogueira (18-3)
9. Dan Henderson (25-7)
10. Thiago Silva (14-2)

Middleweight Rankings (171 to 185 lbs.)
1. Anderson Silva (25-4)
2. Nathan Marquardt (29-8-2)
3. Dan Henderson (25-7)
4. Vitor Belfort (19-8)
5. Demian Maia (11-1)
6. Jake Shields (24-4-1)
7. Chael Sonnen (24-10-1)
8. Yushin Okami (23-5)
9. Robbie Lawler (16-5, 1 No Contest)
10. Ronaldo "Jacare" Souza (11-2, 1 No Contest)

Welterweight Rankings (156 to 170 lbs.)
1. Georges St. Pierre (19-2)
2. Jon Fitch (21-3, 1 No Contest)
3. Thiago Alves (16-6)
4. Josh Koscheck (14-4)
5. Dan Hardy (23-6)
6. Matt Hughes (43-7)
7. Paulo Thiago (12-1)
8. Mike Swick (14-3)
9. Marius Zaromskis (13-3)
10. Paul Daley (23-8-2)

Lightweight Rankings (146 to 155 lbs.)
1. B.J. Penn (15-5-1)
2. Shinya Aoki (23-4, 1 No Contest)
3. Eddie Alvarez (19-2)
4. Kenny Florian (12-4)
5. Tatsuya Kawajiri (26-5-2)
6. Gray Maynard (9-0, 1 No Contest)
7. Frankie Edgar (11-1)
8. Diego Sanchez (21-3)
9. Joachim Hansen (19-8-1)
10. Gilbert Melendez (17-2)

Featherweight Rankings (136 to 145 lbs.)
1. Jose Aldo (16-1)
2. Mike Brown (23-5)
3. Urijah Faber (23-3)
4. Hatsu Hioki (20-4-2)
5. Bibiano Fernandes (7-2)
6. Raphael Assuncao (14-2)
7. "Lion" Takeshi Inoue (17-3)
8. Manny Gamburyan (10-4)
9. Marlon Sandro (15-1)
10. Michihiro Omigawa (9-8-1)

Bantamweight Rankings (126 to 135 lbs.)
1. Brian Bowles (8-0)
2. Miguel Torres (37-2)
3. Masakatsu Ueda (10-0-2)
4. Dominick Cruz (14-1)
5. Joseph Benavidez (11-1)
6. Takeya Mizugaki (12-4-2)
7. Damacio Page (12-4)
8. Scott Jorgensen (8-3)
9. Wagnney Fabiano (13-2)
10. Akitoshi Tamura (14-8-2)

The Independent World MMA Rankings are tabulated on a monthly basis in each of the top seven weight classes of MMA, from heavyweight to bantamweight, with fighters receiving ten points for a first-place vote, nine points for a second-place vote, and so on.

The rankings are based purely on the votes of the members of the voting panel, with nobody's vote counting more than anybody else's vote, and no computerized voting.

The voters are instructed to vote primarily based on fighters' actual accomplishments in the cage/ring (the quality of opposition that they've actually beaten), not based on a broad, subjective perception of which fighters would theoretically win fantasy match-ups.

Fighters who have not fought in the past 12 months are not eligible to be ranked, and will regain their eligibility the next time they fight.

Disciplinary Suspensions: Fighters who are currently serving disciplinary suspensions, or who have been denied a license for drug test or disciplinary reasons, are not eligible to be ranked.

Changing Weight Classes: When a fighter announces that he is leaving one weight class in order to fight in another weight class, the fighter is not eligible to be ranked in the new weight class until he has his first fight in the new weight class.

Catch Weight Fights: When fights are contested at weights that are in between the limits of the various weight classes, they are considered to be in the higher weight class. The weight limits for each weight class are listed at the top of the rankings for each weight class.

Special thanks to Eric Kamander, Zach Arnold, and Joshua Stein for their invaluable help with this project, and special thanks to Garrett Bailey for designing our logo.

Rest in Peace Bob Shamrock

Bob Shamrock, adoptive father to Ken and Frank Shamrock, passed away today at 68 due to complications from diabetes. Early followers of the sport know his story: the patriarch of a home for wayward children, Bob took in rough kids and gave them some much-needed guidance, with future UFC stars Ken and Frank his most famous products. Though I never met him, he was by all accounts a very nice, very compassionate guy. He will be missed.

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Liveblog: Strikeforce/Herschel Walker Press Luncheon Part 2

AKA trainer Javier Mendez: "When they first said Herschel Walker wanted to train for a fight, I said 'No way. He's 47! ...But he's been besting all his sparring partners with the exception of Cain Velasquez." Luke Rockholt and Bobby Southworth are also present, and they further attest that Walker is a real-deal badass. "He's going to be successful at this just like he's been successful at everything else in his life," says Southworth.

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Liveblog: Strikeforce/Herschel Walker Press Luncheon

MMA Journalist is here at the Strikeforce/Herschel Walker press luncheon at Gallagher's Steak House in Midtown Manhattan, a celebration of the Heisman Trophy winner's impending MMA debut as well as the joys of finely-prepared red meat. Present are, of course, Walker himself, and journos such as Ariel Helwani (interestingly, he's not a mermaid in real life) and the esteemed Fight Nerd. I spoke briefly with Walker, who is very friendly and personable. He's excited for his fight, and is confident, and when I asked him to compare the rigors of football training and fight training, he said MMA is way tougher. "Oh, it's definitely tougher," he said, but was quick to extoll the virtues of his team, American Kickboxing Academy.

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Media Luncheon with Strikeforce Fighter Herschel Walker Tomorrow

There's a media luncheon tomorrow with Strikeforce fighter Herschel Walker slated for Gallagher's Steakhouse in Midtown Manhattan, and MMA Journalist will be there with fork, er, pen and notebook in hand to bring you the facts.  How does Walker feel about making his professional MMA debut at such an advanced age?  Does he believe he'll be sufficiently prepared for his bout on January 30th in Miami?  Which is tastier - a heavily-marbled cut of porterhouse or a lean 10oz filet mignon?  All of these hard questions and more will be answered, so stay tuned.

Observations from My Couch: UFC Fight Night 20 "Gray Maynard Is So Not Ready For BJ Penn"

• There’s something strangely satisfying about seeing an Ultimate Fighter winner lose.  I don’t know why that is, but it just is.
• Amir Sadollah looked good defeating Brad Blackburn.  That’s it.  I have nothing more to say about that.
• I barely know who Tom Lawlor is, and that’s only because he does great ring entrances.  Who the hell is Aaron Simpson and why is he getting decisions he doesn’t deserve?
• Efrain Escudero lost via armbar to Evan Dunham.  Phillipe Nover wouldn’t have succumbed to that armbar.
• Gray Maynard squeaked by Nate Diaz, proving once and for all that in no way, shape or form is he ready for BJ Penn.  Send in Frankie Edgar!

Blind New York Governor Sees MMA as an Answer to State's Fiscal Woes

Blind New York Governor David Paterson, who is so sightless he cannot drive a car or pick out a tie to match his suit, sees MMA as a potential revenue generator for the State and will make provisions for it his 2010 budget plan, according to a report by the New York Daily News (link: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/2010/01/11/2010-01-11_gov_wants_deficit_to_go_pow_bam_crunch.html ).  This is great news for MMA fans, who last year saw the bill to legalize the sport crash and burn due to an unrelated legislative breakdown; with Governor Paterson's budgetary provision, legalization (and necessary athletic commission funding) is virtually ensured.  Unfortunately, this is bad news for New York State residents sick of puns regarding Governor Paterson's handicap, because the man is blind and couldn't possibly "see" anything.  Really.

Observations From My Couch: WEC 46 "Thank God, A Night of Decisive Wins"

• Deividas Taurosevicius was a rugby player in Lithuania before coming to the States and taking up mixed martial arts. Obviously, that's where those slick takedowns came from.
• Mike Brown is the second best 145-pound fighter in the world. No shame in losing to him.
• Kamal Shalorus vs. Dave Jansen was like watching a man fight a boy.
• Urijah Faber won, and with that victory comes a viable pay-per-view main event against Jose Aldo and the chance for everyone to get a pay raise. You just know every fighter on the card, Raphael Assuncao included, sent a fruit basket and a thank you note to Faber's locker room afterwards.
• Benson Henderson submitted Jamie Varner to become the new WEC lightweight champ. Meanwhile, in the UFC's lightweight division... no one cared.

Predictions for UFC Fight Night 20: "Ultimate Where Have All the Big Names Gone?"

UFC Fight Night 20 comes to us on Monday night on SpikeTV, a night usually reserved for picking up your dry cleaning and watching "Heroes" and wistfully thinking how good that show used to be but now it completely and utterly sucks. Anyway, UFC Fight Night 20 is another star-studded affair (ha!) featuring three TUF winners with practically zero standing in their respective weight classes. In other words, WHY SHOULD WE CARE? The answer: we shouldn't. Predictions!

• Amir Sadollah won TUF 7. However, TUF 7 was lame as hell, so that's like medaling in the Special Olympics. Expect Brad Blackburn to TKO him. Or not. Who cares?
• Tom Lawlor is not related to Robbie Lawler. In fact, their last names aren't even spelled the same.
• Efrain Escudero dry-humped Philippe Nover to win TUF 9. A quick show of hands, people: how many wish Nover had won it all? Boy, that dude can scrap.
• Nate Diaz won TUF 5. Unfortunately, he's what you get when you can't afford Nick Diaz.
• Gray Maynard didn't win any season of The Ultimate Fighter. He did, however, knock himself out once slamming Rob Emerson to the canvas. Hello dork!

Prediction for WEC 46: "Varner vs. Henderson vs. Honestly, Could These Guys Hang with Anyone in the UFC?"

Another installment of the WEC awaits, an installment featuring what the organization is best known for: the absolute toughest featherweights in the world, plus some lightweight dudes who would get slaughtered if they fought in the UFC. So... predictions!

• Deividas Taurosevicius is taking on Mackens Semerzier. Get ready to witness the first-ever injury to a ring announcer on television. Seriously, these fighters can't even pronounce their own names.
• I remember when Anthony Morrison was knocking out opponents in New Jersey's amateur shows, so of course I'm rooting for him. But Mike Brown is the number two ranked 145-pound fighter in the world... I'm just saying,
• Kamal Shalorus? Kamal, shamazzle, hossenfeffer corporated!
• Remember when Urijah Faber was like the WEC's superstar posterboy hero? Man, times sure change.
• Jamie Varner: the best lightweight the WEC has to offer, and still not good enough for the Octagon.

Nefarious Internet Disinformation Plot Uncovered

Last week an imposter hacked into former WEC featherweight champ Mike Brown's Facebook account and began issuing challenges to Urijah Faber, while this week, a Vadim Finkelstein doppelganger announced on Twitter that talks had resumed between M-1 Global and the UFC over Fedor Emelianenko. Was this the work of some random pranksters? Or was it something more? "The evidence suggests that foul forces are at play," said Josh "Sherlock" Gross, who managed to get to the bottom of the mystery of the Finkelstein tweets whilst wearing his usual deerstalker hat and smoking a pipe. "As to just what these hidden forces are driving at, I cannot say. But one thing is certain: we must all remain vigilant. The veil between truth and lies is ever thin." Added the intrepid investigator's faithful companion, a bespectacled Steve "Watson" Marrocco, "Hmmm. Quite."

Observations From My Couch: UFC 108 "Ultimate Irrelevance"

• I don’t know what they call what Martin Kampmann did to Jacob Volkmann back in Denmark, but here they call that “rape”.
• Cole Miller only wishes he were Toby Imada.
• Okay, great, Mark Munoz won.  Now why should I care?
• Jake Ellenberger: when you absolutely, positively have to have someone’s faced caved in overnight.
• Yeah, Junior dos Santos defeated a heavyweight ten years past his prime.  Does that earn him a title shot now?  Probably!
• I don’t know who that Sam Stout was who trounced Joe Lauzon, but he totally kicks the old Sam Stout’s ass.  We need to see more of him.
• I was worried that with all the injured opponents, Jim Miller would ultimately have to face a grappling dummy in the cage.  But thankfully, he got Duane Ludwig instead, who is just as capable as said dummy.
• Paul Daley looked like a beast in there.  Now match him up against someone who knows how to strike.
• Rashad Evans defeated Thiago Silva, a turn of events that rocked the very foundation of the 205-pound weight class.  Okay, not really.