Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Important Tips for Tom Gallicchio Re: His December 10th Fight in Russia

M-1 Global “Selections-Americas” welterweight tournament winner Tom Gallicchio will be journeying to Russia for his next fight, and when he squares off against Selections-Eastern Europe tournament winner Shamil Zavurov at the Druzhba Arena in Moscow on December 10th, the New Jersey badass will be venturing into the Land of Borscht and Vodka for the first time.  What should Gallicchio do and not do when visiting this foreign place?  As Tom has long been one of MMA Journalist’s friends (he took a bullet for me in ‘Nam), I’ve Googled up these important tips:

  • The national animal of Russia is the bear, and they are beloved by all citizens.  Consequently, hundreds of bears roam freely throughout the Moscow subway system.  Avoid them.  They are not friendly.
  • December is summertime in Russia.  Bring a bathing suit and a surfboard!
  • As world leaders go, Prime Minister Vladimir Putin is most notable for his background in judo.  Offer to demonstrate what happens when a judo practitioner gives up his back to a guy with a killer rear naked choke.
  • If you pick up a Russian mail-order bride and bring her back with you, you will save a ton on postage.
  • In Soviet Russia, marijuana smokes you!