Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Strikeforce Replaces Unrepentant Stoner With Unmitigated Drunk

Strikeforce has replaced an unrepentant stoner with an unmitigated drunk for their "Carano vs. Cyborg" event on Saturday, abandoning the pairing of Nick Diaz and Jay Hieron and instead matching Hieron up with Jesse Taylor. According to the California State Athletic Commission, Diaz refused to put down his bag of Cheetos and get up from his couch to take a pre-fight drug test, thereby killing his chance at getting licensed in time. Without missing a beat, Strikeforce matchmakers scoured local bars and drunk tanks and came up with TUF 7 veteran Taylor, whose wrestling and hard-charging style, plus the fact that he was booted from "The Ultimate Fighter" for a booze-fueled rampage, makes him a decent opponent for the Xtreme Couture-trained former IFL champ. "We're pleased with the Jay Hieron/Jesse Taylor match-up," said a Strikeforce spokesman. "After Nick Diaz failed to get licensed, we considered finding Mr. Hieron a heroin or crack addict, but Mr. Taylor was too much of a mess to pass up." Strikeforce's Saturday show will also feature a lot of sober fighters, too.