Wednesday, June 16, 2010

MMA Journalist's Five-Day Forecast

According to the latest available data, it looks like we're in for some interesting weather in the next five days - weather that could include a storm of fists, a light submission shower and possibly even some World Extreme-blizzard-like conditions.  Should you wear a raincoat and tote around an umbrella for Wednesday night's Strikeforce show?  Is the Bellator welterweight tournament final on Thursday going to be so hot sunglasses and tanning lotion will be required?  Will the Ultimate Fighter Finale on Saturday suck so hard that all air will be drawn up into the atmosphere and a deadly tornado formed?  Stay tuned, because here's MMA Journalist with the five-day forecast.

  • Wednesday: Clouds are gathering in Los Angeles for a mid-week Strikeforce event that will air on Showtime.  Watch for scattered excitement if Conor Heun decides to stand with KJ Noons and if Evangelista Cyborg goes toe-to-toe with Marius Zaramoskis.  There will be a break in the clouds when Tim Kennedy plays the hugging game with Trevor Prangley, and then severe thunder and lightning when Robbie Lawler rains hell down upon Renato “Babalu” Sobral.
  • Thursday: Bellator’s second-season welterweight tournament will draw to a close at night, so expect a quiet, uneventful evening of nothing and then a giant comet in the sky and explosion when Dan Kornbuckle kicks Ben Askren’s ass.
  • Friday: Nothing.  Absolutely nothing is going on.  Sit out on your lawn and read a book.
  • Saturday: As we have now finished off eleven seasons of TUF and somewhere around season 5 the Pope declared the reality TV show the most godless and unholy thing to ever be inflicted upon the Earth, expect some serious Revelation-type stuff for Saturday night’s TUF 11 Finale.  This includes a plague of locusts when Rich Attonito pounds out Jamie Yager, frogs raining down when Spencer Fisher and Chris Leben KO Dennis Siver and Aaron Simpson, and a freakin’ volcanic eruption that wipes out entire villages when Matt Hamill TKOs Keith Jardine.  What will happen when Court McGee takes on Kris McCray for the eponymous TUF winner title?  One can only hope for an earthquake and deep chasm that swallows them all whole.
  • Sunday: WEC 49 in Edmonton, Canada, rounds out the weekend nicely.  Expect some cool breezes every time Kamal Shalorus wings wild bolos at Jamie Varner, a calm and relaxing Josh Grispi submission over LC Davis, and bright sunshine when Mark Hominick takes out Yves Jabouin.  The only downside will be Chris Horodecki, who will stink up the joint.