Thursday, March 12, 2009

Trio of Anabolic Steroids Test Positive for Ken Shamrock

The anabolic steroids Stanozolol, Norandrosterone and Noretiocholanolone have tested positive for aging MMA legend Ken Shamrock and have been suspended for one year, according to a statement released yesterday by the anabolic steroid Deca-Durabolin. The positive test result comes after a post-fight screening for the February 13th Wargods event in California, an event that saw Shamrock defeat some laughably overweight dude via first-round armbar. "Shameful," said the steroid Sustanon. "That's all I have to say about it. It's just shameful." Added the human growth hormone Somatropin, which is used by a wide range of athletes and is virtually undetectable by current screening techniques, "This sort of thing simply will not be tolerated. I mean, Ken Shamrock? Really? Come on."