Thursday, March 24, 2011

Predictions for UFC Fight Night 24

The UFC comes to Seattle on Saturday night for UFC Fight Night 24, which will feature Antonio Rogerio Nogueira taking on wrestler Phil Davis, Sir Mix-a-Lot as a guest in the VIP section, and various coffees served to fighters in between rounds in lieu of water.  And before any of you complain that I’m stereotyping, yes, I have been to Seattle.  Yes, the Sasquatch does in a cardboard box downtown with the rest of the mass of homeless people.  Yes, this event is airing for free on SpikeTV.  So, predictions!

  • Bruce Leroy returns from his less-than-stellar stint on TUF to take on WEC refugee Mackens Semerzier, with Semerzier coming off of three losses and clearly meant to be fodder for the not-quite-breakout star.  Will the afro prevail?  Or will the man who nailed a one-in-a-million submission on Wagnney Fabiano come out on top?  Geez, who cares.  Bruce Leroy by reality television.
  • Thanks to Nam Phan getting injured, Leonard Garcia will instead get a rematch with someone else who he got a gift decision against: Chan Sung Jung, the Korean Zombie.  When last the two met, there was an epic seesaw battle.  Will we see the same again?  Doubtful.  Forrest Griffin vs. Stephan Bonnar II sucked, and Dan Severn vs. Ken Shamrock II defined “suck” for generations to come.  Expect this one to end in a draw after three full rounds of the hokey-pokey and hide-and-seek.
  • TUF 7 winner Amir Sadollah has established beyond a shadow of doubt that he’ll never work his way up to a title shot, so on Saturday night he’ll meet TUF 9 runner-up DaMarques Johnson in the Octagon for what can only be described as “crap, these guys have too many fights contractually owed to them.  Who should we have them fight?  Each other?  Brilliant, Joe, brilliant,” bout.  Both men can strike and grapple about as well as any regional star, so watch for them to get up against the cage and play the “huggy game”,
  • Dan Hardy, Anthony Johnson, solid conditioning, hard strikes and the ability to never ever make weight.  That describes this match-up, and as Hardy and Johnson are both coming off losses, this bout could determine who gets to eat filet mignon next week and who’s out of a job and eating ramen noodles on the cluttered floor of their apartment.  Hopefully, Hardy takes it via KO.
  • Nogueira barely squeaked by wrestler Jason Brilz and got decision by wrestler Ryan Bader.  You know what wrestling superstar Phil Davis is going to do to him?  Clue: it rhymes with “smash him to bits”.  No, wait, it is “smash him to bits”.