The latest installment of Bellator FC is tonight in Louisiana, and it features the semifinals of the middleweight tournament. Cuban judo star Hector Lombard is taking on Damien Stelly, and then some other dudes are fighting.
Tonight in New York City's Chinatown is Combat at the Capitale, promoter Lou Neglia's kickboxing-only event that usually has a few local MMA stars getting some ringtime to sharpen their striking skills. A preliminary card had Jimmie Rivera and Garrett Carmody on it, but I'm not sure who's on it now. MMA Journalist will be there to liveblog so stay tuned.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Link to Bleacher Report Article
Here's a link to a Bleacher Report article, because, well, why not? http://bleacherreport.com/articles/184961-the-countdown-top-ten-greatest-rivalries-in-ufc-history
Race Angle to Play No Role at All in TUF 10
The race angle will play no role at all in the tenth season of "The Ultimate Fighter", despite the fact that Quinton "Rampage" Jackson and Rashad Evans have been tapped to be opposing coaches, according to a statement released by SpikeTV. Said producer Emile Whitey Jones, "We are very pleased with how the show is shaping up. No single demographic is being pandered to. This will be a season everyone will find entertaining." TUF 10 will feature a fresh crop of heavyweights only, with a number of contestants hailing from NFL backgrounds. Rumored guest coaches include Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan, Chuck D from the rap group "Public Enemy" and that Rastaman bike messenger who you buy weed from once a month. The first episode is slated to air in September.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Presented Without Comment Re: Shady Promoter
"Hahahahaha!!! I know Rick Huddleston personally, and believe me, he has a LOOOOOOOONG history of ripping people off and being a scumbag loser!!!!!!!!!! He'll never change, just hopefully someone kicks his ass once and for all!!!!" - anonymous poster on "Cease and Desist" article
Mitch the Intern's TUF 9 Recap: Episode 9
*Editor's note: Mitch the Intern is an NYU undergrad whose favorite Wednesday night pastime includes the TV in his dorm room, a green beanbag chair and two hits of acid. Enjoy.*
So Team America: World Police is left without a fighter after Dana White has declared Jason Pierce too sad to compete. Poor Jason Pierce. As the Smurf destined to hate everything - including his injured foot, competing, the Octagon, human beings and TUF contracts - his lot in life is a dismal one. His teammates opt to kill him for his inability to muster a positive outlook, so he's weighted down with chains tied to cinderblocks and dropped into the pool.
Cue sad music. Okay, cut.
Dana calls Mark Miller into his lair and asks him if he wants to be a fucking fighter. "My nose hurts," replies Miller. "Plus, I knocked out Josh Neer in the IFL two years ago, so I pretty much peaked then."
"Right," says Dana, who then poses the same profanity-ridden question to Frank Loser. "Yes sir I do want to fight!" replies Frank Loser. "I lost my teeth in my fight a couple days ago, my face is sore and on the verge of failing off, my colon aches and I think I may have scurvy and gout, but I do want to fight!"
So Dana allows Frank Loser to fill in for the irreversibly depressed Jason Pierce, who by now is being picked apart by the hermit crabs that reside in the bottom of the TUF house pool.
Then there's some drama concerning who has to wake up early, with the Queen of England (Dan?) talking so slow a passing tortoise pauses, rears up on its hindclaws and declares, "Damn. Speed it up, will ya?" Apparently the Queen wants Team America: World Police to sleep later, but Team UK coach Michael Bisping doesn't want this whole coaching thing to get in the way of his morning snuggles with Dana White, where the two climb into a single purple Slanket and share a croissant while watching the Today Show. Bisping says no, then suggests that the impending match between Frank Loser and the garble-mouthed David Faulkner settle the issue. None of that flies, so in desperation he viciously attacks the Marquis de Johnson with water squirted from a bottle. The Marquis take 22 hit points of damage and must make a saving throw vs. water bottles, but after the Queen remarks that Bisping is acting like a child and seems to have a thing against royalty, the Brit apologizes. Or something. Who knows. Anyway, Team America: World Police gets to sleep later and Bisping's Slanket sessions with Dana suffer.
And what of that coveted homosexual demographic? What nod to them for this week's episode? It's the gag reflex! David Faulkner still can't keep things in his mouth, so he's sent to a hypnotist. Faulkner narrates in a form of English virtually unspoken since the Battle of Hastings in 1066, peppering his tale with a bunch of words like "ye" and "olde" and "forced to fellate a baguette as a childe" while he's put into some sort of faux-trance by a witch doctor. Is he healed? Doubtful, although he no longer has the urge to smoke and will cluck like a chicken whenever someone says "sandwich".
Then it's fight time, with a dearly departed Mask from Tapout cageside for what turns out to be a sloppy but entertaining war. Throughout the first round the Queen repeats "jab, jab, jab, jab..." until finally referee Moustache Mazzagati has had enough, and when Moustache Mazzagati takes off a shoe and hurls it the Queen, she ducks and hides in the crawl-space beneath the Octagon. Faulkner ends up getting the best of his American foe, but in Round 2 Frank Loser takes control, battering the Brit and sapping him of all his energy. The bell rings and it's expected that a third round is needed. Faulkner ain't having it.
"Don't do this," implores Bisping. "You'll regret this forever."
But Faulkner won't budge, repeatedly stating that he enjoyed himself. Interesting. Well, glad you enjoyed yourself, buddy. Why don't you sit back and relax? Can I get you a Sprite or something?
The fight is waved off and Frank Loser is now Frank Winner after forcing Team UK's alleged best fighter to quit. The end.
So Team America: World Police is left without a fighter after Dana White has declared Jason Pierce too sad to compete. Poor Jason Pierce. As the Smurf destined to hate everything - including his injured foot, competing, the Octagon, human beings and TUF contracts - his lot in life is a dismal one. His teammates opt to kill him for his inability to muster a positive outlook, so he's weighted down with chains tied to cinderblocks and dropped into the pool.
Cue sad music. Okay, cut.
Dana calls Mark Miller into his lair and asks him if he wants to be a fucking fighter. "My nose hurts," replies Miller. "Plus, I knocked out Josh Neer in the IFL two years ago, so I pretty much peaked then."
"Right," says Dana, who then poses the same profanity-ridden question to Frank Loser. "Yes sir I do want to fight!" replies Frank Loser. "I lost my teeth in my fight a couple days ago, my face is sore and on the verge of failing off, my colon aches and I think I may have scurvy and gout, but I do want to fight!"
So Dana allows Frank Loser to fill in for the irreversibly depressed Jason Pierce, who by now is being picked apart by the hermit crabs that reside in the bottom of the TUF house pool.
Then there's some drama concerning who has to wake up early, with the Queen of England (Dan?) talking so slow a passing tortoise pauses, rears up on its hindclaws and declares, "Damn. Speed it up, will ya?" Apparently the Queen wants Team America: World Police to sleep later, but Team UK coach Michael Bisping doesn't want this whole coaching thing to get in the way of his morning snuggles with Dana White, where the two climb into a single purple Slanket and share a croissant while watching the Today Show. Bisping says no, then suggests that the impending match between Frank Loser and the garble-mouthed David Faulkner settle the issue. None of that flies, so in desperation he viciously attacks the Marquis de Johnson with water squirted from a bottle. The Marquis take 22 hit points of damage and must make a saving throw vs. water bottles, but after the Queen remarks that Bisping is acting like a child and seems to have a thing against royalty, the Brit apologizes. Or something. Who knows. Anyway, Team America: World Police gets to sleep later and Bisping's Slanket sessions with Dana suffer.
And what of that coveted homosexual demographic? What nod to them for this week's episode? It's the gag reflex! David Faulkner still can't keep things in his mouth, so he's sent to a hypnotist. Faulkner narrates in a form of English virtually unspoken since the Battle of Hastings in 1066, peppering his tale with a bunch of words like "ye" and "olde" and "forced to fellate a baguette as a childe" while he's put into some sort of faux-trance by a witch doctor. Is he healed? Doubtful, although he no longer has the urge to smoke and will cluck like a chicken whenever someone says "sandwich".
Then it's fight time, with a dearly departed Mask from Tapout cageside for what turns out to be a sloppy but entertaining war. Throughout the first round the Queen repeats "jab, jab, jab, jab..." until finally referee Moustache Mazzagati has had enough, and when Moustache Mazzagati takes off a shoe and hurls it the Queen, she ducks and hides in the crawl-space beneath the Octagon. Faulkner ends up getting the best of his American foe, but in Round 2 Frank Loser takes control, battering the Brit and sapping him of all his energy. The bell rings and it's expected that a third round is needed. Faulkner ain't having it.
"Don't do this," implores Bisping. "You'll regret this forever."
But Faulkner won't budge, repeatedly stating that he enjoyed himself. Interesting. Well, glad you enjoyed yourself, buddy. Why don't you sit back and relax? Can I get you a Sprite or something?
The fight is waved off and Frank Loser is now Frank Winner after forcing Team UK's alleged best fighter to quit. The end.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
The Top Five Legends of Karate
With his dominant UFC 98 performance and stunning knockout of TUF 2 winner Rashad Evans, karate black belt Lyoto "The Dragon" Machida not only secured himself the UFC's light-heavyweight crown, he earned himself a spot amongst the venerable "Legends of Karate" - a group of highly-regarded practitioners of the "Empty-Handed Way" forever entrenched within our culture as heroes. Who else shares in this legendary status? MMA Journalist has compiled a list. They are, in no particular order:
- Walker, Texas Ranger - A law enforcement officer who worked in the Dallas/Fort Worth region, Cordell Walker utilized a two-fisted, gritty form of karate to solve crimes and bring criminals to justice.
- Daniel LaRusso - From his early roots in New Jersey's YMCA karate scene to his growth as a karateka under the tutelage of Sensei Miyagi in California, LaRusso employed a deceptively effective style to that enabled him to fell opponents despite barely even touching them. After winning the All Valley Karate Tournament, he went overseas to compete in unsanctioned challenge matches in Japan.
- Bruce Leroy - Labeled as "The Last Dragon", Leroy was a New York City native on a quest to attain "The Final Level" in a ranking system that bathed its most skilled and accomplished in "The Glow". Leroy was eventually successful in achieving the Final Level, with the resulting Glow enabling him to handily defeat Sho'Nuff, a.k.a. the Shogun of Harlem, in an underground bout.
- Ryu, the Street Fighter - With techniques such as the "Hurricane Kick", the "Psycho Fire" and the "Dragon Punch", Ryu swept through an international martial arts tournament, defeating representatives from the United States, China and even Thailand. Ryu shared a rivalry with fellow tournament competitor Ken.
- Oddjob - A personal bodyguard and henchman to Auric Goldfinger, the physically imposing Oddjob was a master of karate who often employed a razor-edged hat as a missile weapon. After dominating British Secret Intelligence Service agent James Bond in unarmed combat, he was inadvertently electrocuted by a loose electrical wire.
The Fight Nerd
Check him out at www.thefightnerd.com . He's making his presence felt in the world of MMA reporting.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Observations From My Couch: UFC 98
- Once again it's sad watching the passing of our heroes. For the longest time, Sean Sherk was the man. Now it seems it's Frankie Edgar's turn.
- Dan Miller is better than that. Much.
- Xavier Foupa-Pokam. The purest embodiment of "the suck" the Octagon has seen in quite a while.
- Does this mean the Northeast MMA scene gets Andre Gusmao back? I have no problem with that. He can be pretty exciting at times.
- Matt Serra was robbed, plain and simple.
- Holy karate!
Back From Vacation
MMA Journalist is back from vacation, so, um, yeah. Back now. In case you were wondering why there were no posts... vacation.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Mitch the Intern's TUF 9 Recap: Episode 8
*Editor's note: Mitch the Intern is an NYU undergrad whose favorite Wednesday night pastime includes the TV in his dorm room, a green beanbag chair and two hits of acid. Enjoy.*
Apparently, you have to actually want to be a fighter to become an "Ultimate Fighter". At least, that's what last night's episode taught us.
Close up on Team America: Word Police, training hard while the Queen of England (um, Dan?) talks so slow that her words are almost backwards, like "Hi guys, don't forget to train hard" is really "Ih syug, t'nod tegrof ot niart drah." Also, moss has started to grow on the Queen. We'll see where that goes.
Anyway, the American symbol of depression Jason Pierce sits despondent in a corner, shrouded in misery and blue like that smurf that hated everything is blue. His leg is infected with staph. Will he be able to fight? "I hate fighting," he replies. "I hate legs, too." Pierce pretty much hates it all.
Meawhile, Michael Bisping trains with his ward David Faulkner, with Faulkner's gag reflex the center of attention. "I hate stuff in me mouth," says Faulkner, and cheers erupt in a gay bar in Miami, then everyone does a shot and smacks the ass of the person to their right.
It's Frisbee time! Last week it was tennis, but this week, with no money on the line, Team America: World Police plays Frisbee. Stay tuned for next week, when hackeysack takes center stage.
Back to Pierce, who visits a doctor for his depression and is diagnosed with negative energy syndrome, a disease that affects millions every day and is the leading cause of black holes and trolls who live under bridges. The Queen of England declares her disdain for negative energy, but it comes out as something garbled that only ancient turtles and trees can understand. Vines now dangle from her almost inert form.
But like a hot dog dangled before a fat kid who hasn't eaten in hours, we don't get to see Pierce fight this week. Instead, Team America: World Police representative Jason Dent is paired up with ex-Monty Python member Jeff Lawson. Lawson provides the much needed comedic relief in that pressure cooker known as the TUF house, with most of his antics centering around skits involving him dressed as some sort of big-eared animal interacting with Mexican wrestlers. Also, we get to see his exposed butt (and in that gay bar in Miami, everyone cheers, does a shot and smacks the ass of the person on their right).
Suddenly it's fight day, and everyone heads to the TUF training center to prepare for battle. Dana White shows up, apparently aware that Pierce hates everything, and pulls him and the Queen of England aside. "How is your staph-infected leg?" asks Dana, adding a string of F-bombs and some colorful profanity.
"I hate it," replies Pierce. "Also, I hate you."
Dana dismisses them, then we're subjected to a sloppy MMA bout that sees Lawson on top in Round 1, trying fruitlessly to get a submission or drop leather but really looking like someone who has only heard MMA described and never actually seen a bout. Lawson runs out of gas in Round 2, though, and Dent applies an Anaconda choke to end the Brit's run at TUF glory.
Back to Dana, who's had time to mull over Pierce's responses and hatred over everything. He calls Pierce and the Queen back into a secluded room. "You don't want to be a fucking fighter, Pierce, so you're done." Pierce weeps a little, but then realizes he hates weeping, and moves on. The end.
Apparently, you have to actually want to be a fighter to become an "Ultimate Fighter". At least, that's what last night's episode taught us.
Close up on Team America: Word Police, training hard while the Queen of England (um, Dan?) talks so slow that her words are almost backwards, like "Hi guys, don't forget to train hard" is really "Ih syug, t'nod tegrof ot niart drah." Also, moss has started to grow on the Queen. We'll see where that goes.
Anyway, the American symbol of depression Jason Pierce sits despondent in a corner, shrouded in misery and blue like that smurf that hated everything is blue. His leg is infected with staph. Will he be able to fight? "I hate fighting," he replies. "I hate legs, too." Pierce pretty much hates it all.
Meawhile, Michael Bisping trains with his ward David Faulkner, with Faulkner's gag reflex the center of attention. "I hate stuff in me mouth," says Faulkner, and cheers erupt in a gay bar in Miami, then everyone does a shot and smacks the ass of the person to their right.
It's Frisbee time! Last week it was tennis, but this week, with no money on the line, Team America: World Police plays Frisbee. Stay tuned for next week, when hackeysack takes center stage.
Back to Pierce, who visits a doctor for his depression and is diagnosed with negative energy syndrome, a disease that affects millions every day and is the leading cause of black holes and trolls who live under bridges. The Queen of England declares her disdain for negative energy, but it comes out as something garbled that only ancient turtles and trees can understand. Vines now dangle from her almost inert form.
But like a hot dog dangled before a fat kid who hasn't eaten in hours, we don't get to see Pierce fight this week. Instead, Team America: World Police representative Jason Dent is paired up with ex-Monty Python member Jeff Lawson. Lawson provides the much needed comedic relief in that pressure cooker known as the TUF house, with most of his antics centering around skits involving him dressed as some sort of big-eared animal interacting with Mexican wrestlers. Also, we get to see his exposed butt (and in that gay bar in Miami, everyone cheers, does a shot and smacks the ass of the person on their right).
Suddenly it's fight day, and everyone heads to the TUF training center to prepare for battle. Dana White shows up, apparently aware that Pierce hates everything, and pulls him and the Queen of England aside. "How is your staph-infected leg?" asks Dana, adding a string of F-bombs and some colorful profanity.
"I hate it," replies Pierce. "Also, I hate you."
Dana dismisses them, then we're subjected to a sloppy MMA bout that sees Lawson on top in Round 1, trying fruitlessly to get a submission or drop leather but really looking like someone who has only heard MMA described and never actually seen a bout. Lawson runs out of gas in Round 2, though, and Dent applies an Anaconda choke to end the Brit's run at TUF glory.
Back to Dana, who's had time to mull over Pierce's responses and hatred over everything. He calls Pierce and the Queen back into a secluded room. "You don't want to be a fucking fighter, Pierce, so you're done." Pierce weeps a little, but then realizes he hates weeping, and moves on. The end.
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