Saturday, September 18, 2010
Liveblog: M-1 Global Part 3
It's time for the light-heavyweight final between Byron Byrd and Daniel Viscaya. The winner of this bout gets his choice of ring card girls to bring home and use for card-, tapestry- and poster-holding purposes, so the stakes are high. Viscaya gets the takedown and attempts to get his offense going, but in short order Byrd has a triangle cinched. He survives a high-amplitude slam and gets the tap out at 2:43 of Round 1. Next up is middleweights Luigi Fioravanti and Woody Weatherby in a non-tournament pairing. Hailing from ATT, Fioravanti's got Din Thomas and Rich Attonito in his corner. Weatherby has the Geicko Lizard and a bunch of balloons. This one is pretty straight-forward, as Fioravanti takes Weatherby down and blasts him with leather, then continues smashing him on the feet. The ref calls it off at 2:51 of Round 1.
Liveblog: M-1 Global Part 2
First to the ring is a lightweight match-up between Josh Thorpe and Brendan Weafer. Thorpe is a Sagitarius who likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. Weafer, meanwhile, trains out of Greg Jackson's camp, is not into health food and has half a brain. We'll see how their date goes. After a brief hugging period Thorpe puts Weafer on his butt with a clean left hook. Weafer responds by popping back up and kicking Thorpe square in the nuts. Yeah, there's definitely some chemistry here. They restart and Weafer is soon on his opponent's back, working a standing rear naked choke that Thorpe defends right to the bell. Round 2 sees Thorpe score some payback with a spinning backfist, a nice hip toss and some ground and pound, and Weafer is bleeding from a cut near his eye when the bell sounds. Other than a slam by Thorpe, not much happens in the final round, and the clock runs out with Thorpe in Weafer's guard exchanging slaps and quiche recipes. Thorpe takes the unanimous decision. Next is Shane Primm vs. Bristol Marunde. You may remember Primm from such films as "Locker Room Horseplay: The Silent Killer" and "Honey, I Shrunk the Jedi". Marunde ate the entire cake at his bachelor party before they could tell him there was a stripper inside. Anyway, the first round is all Marunde as he keeps planting his right hand on Primm's face, catches Primm's kick and puts him on his back, and controls him a bit on the ground. Primm keeps it competitive with his jab in Round 2, but Marunde is still large and in charge with his cross and a nonstop barrage of leg kicks. Sensing he's a dead man on the scorecards, Primm turns it up a thousand percent and uses strikes to open a nice cut above Marunde's eye in the third round. However, his onslaught fizzles after two minutes, and Marunde's kicks once more take over. Marunde takes the unanimous decision.
Liveblog: M-1 Global Part 1
MMA Journalist is here in sunny Atlantic City, ringside for the finals of M-1 Global's "Selection" tournament. A bunch of dudes fought a bunch of times to get here, and when you and I were relaxing on the beach this summer eating hamburgers with crushed Fritos stuffed under the bun and knoshing on funnel cakes, these dudes were training and dieting. Except heavyweight Kenny Garner. At 250 pounds, I think he was eating whatever he wanted. Anyway, M-1 Global. Bally's Casino. Fights. Booyah.
Friday, September 17, 2010
September 2010 Men's Independent World MMA Rankings
The September 2010 Men's Independent World MMA Rankings have been released. These rankings are independent of any single MMA media outlet or sanctioning body, and are published on multiple web sites. In addition to the numerous MMA web sites that publish the Independent World MMA Rankings, you can also access the rankings at any time by going to http://www.independentworldmmarankings.com/.
Some of the best and most knowledgeable MMA writers from across the MMA media landscape have come together to form one independent voting panel. These voting panel members are, in alphabetical order: Zach Arnold (Fight Opinion); Nicholas Bailey (MMA Ratings); Jared Barnes (Freelance); Jordan Breen (Sherdog); Jim Genia (Full Contact Fighter and MMA Journalist Blog); Jesse Holland (MMA Mania); Robert Joyner (Freelance); Todd Martin (CBS Sportsline); Jim Murphy (The Savage Science); Zac Robinson (Sports by the Numbers MMA); Leland Roling (Bloody Elbow); Michael David Smith (AOL Fanhouse); Joshua Stein (MMA Opinion); Ivan Trembow (Freelance); and Dave Walsh (Head Kick Legend).
Some of the best and most knowledgeable MMA writers from across the MMA media landscape have come together to form one independent voting panel. These voting panel members are, in alphabetical order: Zach Arnold (Fight Opinion); Nicholas Bailey (MMA Ratings); Jared Barnes (Freelance); Jordan Breen (Sherdog); Jim Genia (Full Contact Fighter and MMA Journalist Blog); Jesse Holland (MMA Mania); Robert Joyner (Freelance); Todd Martin (CBS Sportsline); Jim Murphy (The Savage Science); Zac Robinson (Sports by the Numbers MMA); Leland Roling (Bloody Elbow); Michael David Smith (AOL Fanhouse); Joshua Stein (MMA Opinion); Ivan Trembow (Freelance); and Dave Walsh (Head Kick Legend).
Note: Jake Shields, Jason Miller, and Paul Daley have each regained their eligibility to be ranked, because all of their disciplinary suspensions have expired.
Note: Nick Diaz is still not eligible to be ranked because his disciplinary suspension does not expire until September 23 (which is because it did not begin until June 23).
Note: Gilbert Melendez is still not eligible to be ranked because his disciplinary suspension does not expire until October 13 (which is because it did not begin until July 13).
Note: Due to the fact that his recent fights have been in the middleweight division, Jake Shields is eligible to be ranked exclusively in the middleweight division until he makes his return to
welterweight. However, several individual voters chose not to rank Shields at middleweight because of the fact that his return to the welterweight division is just one month away.
September 2010 Men's Independent World MMA Rankings
Ballots collected on September 14, 2010
Heavyweight Rankings (206 to 265 lbs.)
1. Brock Lesnar (5-1)
2. Fedor Emelianenko (31-2, 1 No Contest)
3. Fabricio Werdum (14-4-1)
4. Cain Velasquez (8-0)
5. Shane Carwin (12-1)
6. Junior dos Santos (12-1)
7. Alistair Overeem (33-11, 1 No Contest)
8. Frank Mir (13-5)
9. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (32-6-1, 1 No Contest)
10. Antonio Silva (14-2)
Light Heavyweight Rankings (186 to 205 lbs.)
1. Mauricio "Shogun" Rua (19-4)
2. Lyoto Machida (16-1)
3. Rashad Evans (15-1-1)
4. Quinton Jackson (30-8)
5. Forrest Griffin (17-6)
6. Antonio Rogerio Nogueira (19-3)
7. Jon Jones (11-1)
8. Thiago Silva (14-2)
9. Gegard Mousasi (29-3-1)
10. Rafael "Feijao" Cavalcante (10-2)
Middleweight Rankings (171 to 185 lbs.)
1. Anderson Silva (27-4)
2. Chael Sonnen (25-11-1)
3. Nathan Marquardt (30-9-2)
4. Vitor Belfort (19-8)
5. Demian Maia (13-2)
6. Jake Shields (25-4-1)
7. Dan Henderson (25-8)
8. Ronaldo "Jacare" Souza (13-2, 1 No Contest)
9. Yushin Okami (25-5)
10. Jorge Santiago (23-8)
Welterweight Rankings (156 to 170 lbs.)
1. Georges St. Pierre (20-2)
2. Jon Fitch (23-3, 1 No Contest)
3. Josh Koscheck (15-4)
4. Thiago Alves (17-7)
5. Dan Hardy (23-7, 1 No Contest)
6. Martin Kampmann (17-3)
7. Matt Hughes (45-7)
8. Paulo Thiago (13-2)
9. Paul Daley (25-9-2)
10. John Hathaway (14-0)
Lightweight Rankings (146 to 155 lbs.)
1. Frankie Edgar (13-1)
2. B.J. Penn (15-7-1)
3. Gray Maynard (10-0, 1 No Contest)
4. Eddie Alvarez (20-2)
5. Shinya Aoki (24-5, 1 No Contest)
6. Kenny Florian (13-5)
7. Tatsuya Kawajiri (26-6-2)
8. George Sotiropoulos (13-2)
9. Evan Dunham (11-0)
10. Ben Henderson (12-1)
Featherweight Rankings (136 to 145 lbs.)
1. Jose Aldo (17-1)
2. Manny Gamburyan (11-4)
3. Urijah Faber (23-4)
4. Mike Brown (23-6)
5. Bibiano Fernandes (8-2)
6. Hatsu Hioki (22-4-2)
7. Marlon Sandro (17-1)
8. Josh Grispi (14-1)
9. Michihiro Omigawa (11-8-1)
10. "Lion" Takeshi Inoue (18-4)
Bantamweight Rankings (126 to 135 lbs.)
1. Dominick Cruz (16-1)
2. Brian Bowles (8-1)
3. Joseph Benavidez (12-2)
4. Scott Jorgensen (11-3)
5. Miguel Torres (37-3)
6. Takeya Mizugaki (13-4-2)
7. Damacio Page (15-4)
8. Masakatsu Ueda (11-1-2)
9. Wagnney Fabiano (14-2)
10. Shuichiro Katsumura (11-7-3)
The Men's Independent World MMA Rankings are tabulated on a monthly basis in each of the top seven weight classes of MMA, from heavyweight to bantamweight, with fighters receiving ten points for a first-place vote, nine points for a second-place vote, and so on.
The rankings are based purely on the votes of the members of the voting panel, with nobody's vote counting more than anybody else's vote, and no computerized voting.
The voters are instructed to vote primarily based on fighters' actual accomplishments in the cage/ring (the quality of opposition that they've actually beaten), not based on a broad, subjective perception of which fighters would theoretically win fantasy match-ups.
Inactivity: Fighters who have not fought in the past 12 months are not eligible to be ranked, and will regain their eligibility the next time they fight.
Disciplinary Suspensions: Fighters who are currently serving disciplinary suspensions, or who have been denied a license for drug test or disciplinary reasons, are not eligible to be ranked.
Changing Weight Classes: When a fighter announces that he is leaving one weight class in order to fight in another weight class, the fighter is not eligible to be ranked in the new weight class until he has his first fight in the new weight class.
Catch Weight Fights: When fights are contested at weights that are in between the limits of the various weight classes, they are considered to be in the higher weight class. The weight limits for each weight class are listed at the top of the rankings for each weight class.
Special thanks to Eric Kamander, Zach Arnold, and Joshua Stein for their invaluable help with this project, and special thanks to Garrett Bailey for designing our logo.
Note: Nick Diaz is still not eligible to be ranked because his disciplinary suspension does not expire until September 23 (which is because it did not begin until June 23).
Note: Gilbert Melendez is still not eligible to be ranked because his disciplinary suspension does not expire until October 13 (which is because it did not begin until July 13).
Note: Due to the fact that his recent fights have been in the middleweight division, Jake Shields is eligible to be ranked exclusively in the middleweight division until he makes his return to
welterweight. However, several individual voters chose not to rank Shields at middleweight because of the fact that his return to the welterweight division is just one month away.
September 2010 Men's Independent World MMA Rankings
Ballots collected on September 14, 2010
Heavyweight Rankings (206 to 265 lbs.)
1. Brock Lesnar (5-1)
2. Fedor Emelianenko (31-2, 1 No Contest)
3. Fabricio Werdum (14-4-1)
4. Cain Velasquez (8-0)
5. Shane Carwin (12-1)
6. Junior dos Santos (12-1)
7. Alistair Overeem (33-11, 1 No Contest)
8. Frank Mir (13-5)
9. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (32-6-1, 1 No Contest)
10. Antonio Silva (14-2)
Light Heavyweight Rankings (186 to 205 lbs.)
1. Mauricio "Shogun" Rua (19-4)
2. Lyoto Machida (16-1)
3. Rashad Evans (15-1-1)
4. Quinton Jackson (30-8)
5. Forrest Griffin (17-6)
6. Antonio Rogerio Nogueira (19-3)
7. Jon Jones (11-1)
8. Thiago Silva (14-2)
9. Gegard Mousasi (29-3-1)
10. Rafael "Feijao" Cavalcante (10-2)
Middleweight Rankings (171 to 185 lbs.)
1. Anderson Silva (27-4)
2. Chael Sonnen (25-11-1)
3. Nathan Marquardt (30-9-2)
4. Vitor Belfort (19-8)
5. Demian Maia (13-2)
6. Jake Shields (25-4-1)
7. Dan Henderson (25-8)
8. Ronaldo "Jacare" Souza (13-2, 1 No Contest)
9. Yushin Okami (25-5)
10. Jorge Santiago (23-8)
Welterweight Rankings (156 to 170 lbs.)
1. Georges St. Pierre (20-2)
2. Jon Fitch (23-3, 1 No Contest)
3. Josh Koscheck (15-4)
4. Thiago Alves (17-7)
5. Dan Hardy (23-7, 1 No Contest)
6. Martin Kampmann (17-3)
7. Matt Hughes (45-7)
8. Paulo Thiago (13-2)
9. Paul Daley (25-9-2)
10. John Hathaway (14-0)
Lightweight Rankings (146 to 155 lbs.)
1. Frankie Edgar (13-1)
2. B.J. Penn (15-7-1)
3. Gray Maynard (10-0, 1 No Contest)
4. Eddie Alvarez (20-2)
5. Shinya Aoki (24-5, 1 No Contest)
6. Kenny Florian (13-5)
7. Tatsuya Kawajiri (26-6-2)
8. George Sotiropoulos (13-2)
9. Evan Dunham (11-0)
10. Ben Henderson (12-1)
Featherweight Rankings (136 to 145 lbs.)
1. Jose Aldo (17-1)
2. Manny Gamburyan (11-4)
3. Urijah Faber (23-4)
4. Mike Brown (23-6)
5. Bibiano Fernandes (8-2)
6. Hatsu Hioki (22-4-2)
7. Marlon Sandro (17-1)
8. Josh Grispi (14-1)
9. Michihiro Omigawa (11-8-1)
10. "Lion" Takeshi Inoue (18-4)
Bantamweight Rankings (126 to 135 lbs.)
1. Dominick Cruz (16-1)
2. Brian Bowles (8-1)
3. Joseph Benavidez (12-2)
4. Scott Jorgensen (11-3)
5. Miguel Torres (37-3)
6. Takeya Mizugaki (13-4-2)
7. Damacio Page (15-4)
8. Masakatsu Ueda (11-1-2)
9. Wagnney Fabiano (14-2)
10. Shuichiro Katsumura (11-7-3)
The Men's Independent World MMA Rankings are tabulated on a monthly basis in each of the top seven weight classes of MMA, from heavyweight to bantamweight, with fighters receiving ten points for a first-place vote, nine points for a second-place vote, and so on.
The rankings are based purely on the votes of the members of the voting panel, with nobody's vote counting more than anybody else's vote, and no computerized voting.
The voters are instructed to vote primarily based on fighters' actual accomplishments in the cage/ring (the quality of opposition that they've actually beaten), not based on a broad, subjective perception of which fighters would theoretically win fantasy match-ups.
Inactivity: Fighters who have not fought in the past 12 months are not eligible to be ranked, and will regain their eligibility the next time they fight.
Disciplinary Suspensions: Fighters who are currently serving disciplinary suspensions, or who have been denied a license for drug test or disciplinary reasons, are not eligible to be ranked.
Changing Weight Classes: When a fighter announces that he is leaving one weight class in order to fight in another weight class, the fighter is not eligible to be ranked in the new weight class until he has his first fight in the new weight class.
Catch Weight Fights: When fights are contested at weights that are in between the limits of the various weight classes, they are considered to be in the higher weight class. The weight limits for each weight class are listed at the top of the rankings for each weight class.
Special thanks to Eric Kamander, Zach Arnold, and Joshua Stein for their invaluable help with this project, and special thanks to Garrett Bailey for designing our logo.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Mitch the Intern's TUF 12 Recap: Episode 1
*Editor's note: Mitch the Intern is an NYU undergrad whose favorite Wednesday night pastime includes the TV in his dorm room, a green beanbag chair and two hits of acid. Enjoy.*
Fade in to a salon on Rodeo Drive in sunny Beverly Hills. A SpikeTV producer is being tended to by an impossibly skinny young man dressed like he was assaulted by the Fashion Police. The producer is sporting a well-coiffed bouffant. There's a blur of skinny arms and the producer now has long, luxurious locks of gold and amber. In the next chair over sits Dana White. A young girl who looks like she gave up food two months ago and switched completely over to heroin is blow-drying the UFC president's bald head.
"So what's in store for this season?" says the producer to Dana White. "More Kimbo? Please say there's more Kimbo."
Dana White takes a sip from a glass bottle of chilled mineral water. Shakes his head and smiles. "Nope," he says. "Better. The theme for this season is…" And the man at the center of the MMA universe pauses. A second passes. Then another. The blow-dryer goes quiet. The hair clipper in the background ceases buzzing. The sudden silence of a half dozen scissors abruptly halting in their work. The oversized clock on the wall stops ticking. All eyes are on the bald man in charge of the Superbowl of Mixed Martial Arts. All ears are straining to hear his words. "The theme for this season is… hair!"
Cut to the TUF Training Center deep within the lurid bowels of Las Vegas. Season 12 of the greatest thing to ever happen to fans of jizzed on fruit and busted doors is upon us, and at the vanguard of this attack on our morality is a slew of lightweights, guided by the loving embrace of coaches Georges St. Pierre and Josh Kosh B'Gosh and the profanity of Dana White. The lightweights assemble before their master, a sea of colored hair, an afro with a pick in it, long hair in a ponytail, spiked hair, shaved hair and mohawks. There's braids, cornrows, the little curly hairs that Hasidic Jews have - someone even boasts a perm. Dana White surveys his army of garish soldiers, grins, and begins tirade number one.
"F*%^&E$*$ @%$&^$^* @#$%$#^ fighter?" he asks them. "@#$&&^*( ($%^&#{}@# hair ##$&$^** fight! @$&^^ !@&^(+) giraffe! @?<>!(%&@#* UFC %&$^* cage #$%^#& fractional geometry!" Of course, at this point, no one can understand what he says anymore. But they all nod. Their futures rest within the Octagon, and this man before them is the gatekeeper. Georges St. Pierre and Josh Kosh B'Gosh nod as well, because, well, we're not quite sure Georges speaks English that well and Josh will go along with just about anything Dana White says.
And then it's time for battle, and like last season, everyone must fight and win to earn their berth within the TUF House. Like some grand buffet of violence and poor choices at the barbershop, fifty or so match-ups are played out in abbreviated form before our very eyes.
Marky-Marc and the Funky Bunch enters the cage. He and Josh Kosh B'Gosh used to date, once, years ago, during a summer abroad when one was backpacking across Europe and the other was washing dishes at a small café in Marseilles, but that was then, they're older now, wiser, and Josh Kosh B'Gosh pretends he can't remember those nights spent drinking cheap red wine and reading dog-eared copies of Tintin and Asterix the Gaul.
"Is that your boy?" asks Dana White.
"I don't remember him," says Josh Kosh B'Gosh, listlessly, a piece of his heart aching harshly before it dies.
Marky-Marc wields a looping overhand right and what looks like a mohawk that changed its mind and decided it wanted to be a cautionary tale against getting haircuts whilst drunk. Thirteen seconds after the referee says go, Marky-Marc is standing over his unconscious opponent, punching him with that right hand. It's the fastest knockout in TUF history, and Marky-Marc strides over to the side of the cage where Dana White, Georges St. Pierre and Josh Kosh B'Gosh sit and shouts through the fence. "Remember me now?" Close up on the tears in his eyes.
A new set of hairstyles, then another, then another. The action is a blur of fists and kicks and submission attempts. Spencer the Page displays imposing striking and the kind of ground game most associate with paraplegics, but he ekes out the win when his foe sucks even more.
"Oh, my dearest Matilda," says Georges St. Pierre to no one in particular.
Josh Kosh B'Gosh gives Dana White a curious look.
"His moose," Dana White whispers.
Then Mike Sucknik enters the cage, his voiceover letting viewers know that he was some kind of champion skater in a past life, and that now it's MMA's turn to experience his athletic talent. Unfortunately, his opponent is Banh Mi, a nerdy-looking Vietnamese dude who dropped out of the School of Visual Arts to sell Ecstasy, and Banh Mi will not be denied. Boom! goes the fist in Mike Sucknik's floating rib. Crash! goes the tricked-out Nissan hatchback that Banh Mi uses to run Mike Sucknik down. "Oooowie," says the fallen former skater who should've stuck to fringe sports.
In the editing room, a technician is force-fed a six-pack of Red Bull; the fights are sped up even more. Andy My Main Man triangles some dude with green hair, then jives his way out of the cage, getting a high-five from the janitor. "My main man!" says the janitor. Two men wrestle in the Octagon and one of them wins, a hairy judoka with what could be an Armenian accent wins, someone vomits profusely behind the TUF Center, and someone with Kool-Aid-colored hair named Jeffrey Lentz beats some no-name kid to a bloody pulp.
"Hair!" screams Dana White. "I need more hair!"
It's then that we're introduced to Bruce Leroy. No, really, that's his own nickname - I didn't have to make that up. You see, Bruce Leroy was a cat from the timeless classic "The Last Dragon", which came out when the world actually believed martial artists had superpowers and Bruce Lee was the closest thing we in modern times would ever get to meeting Jesus Christ. Donning a yellow jumpsuit like Bruce Lee wore in "Game of Death", Bruce Leroy enters the Octagon with the aforementioned afro (you thought I was joking, right?) and a grin, and never loses that grin throughout his fight. He defeats someone named "Wheelbarrow" with a choke, then dances around like the '70s were something we shouldn't be ashamed of.
"I love this guy," says Dana White.
"Oh my Matilda…" says Georges St. Pierre.
Then there's a long-haired Alaskan fisherman named Spuds McKenzie, who snags his fish with a vicious guillotine. Joe Native American with no cardio but a ton of heart. Someone from Matt Hughes' camp named Dr. Watson. Someone with a Jheri-Curl, someone with a Nike logo shaved into his head, someone with a bowl cut. By now, we've seen so much condensed violence we've lost track of who's won and who's lost, it's all just a mish-mash of blood and body parts, like a busload of old people on their way to the casino has overturned on the highway and a tractor trailer came along behind it and made human organ salad.
Thankfully, it's over. The survivors gather before Dana White, their entrance into the TUF House now secure. Flanked by his two star coaches on either side, Dana White nods slowly and smirks. "Gentleman, @!#^%#$&$%*." And TUF 12 has officially begun.
Cut to that same salon in Beverly Hills. Other than the impossibly skinny young man transforming his hair into a Marge Simpson-beehive, the SpikeTV producer is alone. In his hand is an IPod, and on the tiny screen the credits are rolling on the first episode of this season's Ultimate Fighter. The producer wrinkles his brow. Says to no one in particular, "Okay. How is this better than Kimbo?"
The end.
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