Observations from My Couch: EliteXC "Renegades"

-The Nick Diaz that fought last night was nothing like the one that battled against Diego Sanchez, Sean Sherk and Robbie Lawler. Diaz is a great fighter, but he needs to lay off the staph-laced marijuana for a while. -I don't blame Bo Cantrell for getting hit by Kimbo twice and tapping out. If I were in his shoes, I would've tapped out after the referee had us touch gloves. -Jake Shields and KJ Noons looked impressive in victory. However, Gary Shaw has suggested that for their next fights they will both face Kimbo simultaneously, and I'm not sure I like their odds. -My dog is a fan of Goldberg, and whenever the ex-wrestler was on screen he'd bark and wag his tail. Unfortunately, whenever Stephen Quadros was on screen, my poor dog would yelp and hide behind the couch.

A Collection of News Hiaku

1. No dice for ShoXC/December 7th NJ show./ProElite forsakes us. 2. Cali commission/postpones the steroid hearing./Sean Sherk really screwed. 3. Zuffa signs Lesnar./Does anyone actually care?/I sure as hell don't. 4. Rio Heroes gives fans/some old-school NHB bouts./But their video sucks. 5. Kimbo Slice and Nick/Diaz fight on Saturday night./Not each other though.

ROC and HDNet Fights Have Hooked Up, Possibly Dating

Lou Neglia's Ring of Combat, an MMA mainstay here on the East Coast that has served up quality events for years, and Mark Cuban's HDNet Fights, a newly-launched league that airs on the high-definition channel, have hooked up, according to a recent ROC press release. The press release confirms what many already suspected, as the two organizations were seen chatting each other up at a party, and left "to get some fresh air" after downing a few cocktails. What does this mean for the jealous Art of War promotion, who HDNet Fights was officially seeing? That's unclear at this time, although what is clear is that ROC's November 30th "Beasts of the Northeast" tournament finals will be broadcast on the channel.

ShoXC is Coming to Town to Spread Tidings of Good Cheer

ShoXC, the WEC-esque version of EliteXC's brand of global MMA, is coming to town on December 7th to spread tidings of good cheer ("town" being the Collins Arena at Brookdale College in Lincroft, New Jersey, and "tidings of good cheer" being a great opportunity for some local fighters to kick ass on the Showtime cable network). Combat in the Cage promoter Ed Hsu is working point on this one, and he's alluded to a headlining bout between Cage Rage veteran Paul Daley and hometown boy Jose Rodriguez. Want to see an event where the live audience goes beserk? Curious about what happens when an event erupts into a riot? Since Rodriguez is known as a big ticket seller in the Garden State, and he lives about five minutes from the venue, this will definitely be the show for you.

The Week in Review

It's been a busy week for news. Here's a brief recap of a few of the week's more important MMA-related events, courtesy of the hard-working staff at MMA Journalist. The Couture/Zuffa Breakup Gets Uglier- Another day, another press conference, this one featuring Dana White and Lorenzo Fertitta describing how they would cook and clean all day only to face a cold and distant Randy Couture at dinner time. Was Couture cheating on them? Were they too clingy? It's hard to tell, but things are going to be awkward at the next dinner party. Din Thomas Arrested- Want to throw a little unsanctioned smoker in your gym? Maybe you want to give your students some experience fighting in front of a crowd? Well, if you live in the sunny state of Florida - AND YOU'RE BLACK - watch the fuck out. I'm just saying... A Change in the IFL Product- Newly-minted IFL president Jay Larkin says the league is going to shift from their current city-based team motif to teams based on actual fight camps. Also, to attract more fans, competitors will be allowed to use chainsaws, swords and axes, and an agitated and hungry lion or bear will be thrown into the ring in bouts that make it to the third round. Sean Sherk's Steroid Appeal Postponed- Yesterday's California State Athletic Commission hearing on the appeal of the steroid-based suspension of the UFC Lightweight Champ ended in a postponement to November 13th. Credit goes to CSAC administrative assistant Lucy Sanders, who had to get her hair and nails done and totally forgot to circulate the defense's brief. Oopsie!

Okay, My Crystal Ball Sucks

Back in September, MMA Journalist gazed into its crystal ball and tried to get a handle on the November 30th final round of the Ring of Combat "Beasts of the Northeast" tournament. Well, it turns out Eddie Fyvie would bang up his knee and have to drop out, Joe Aviles couldn't stop Charlie Brenneman's takedowns, and Marc Stevens failed to out-hustle Lance Everson. Go on. Say it. My crystal ball sucks. However, it doesn't take a crystal ball to see how things will play out now that the final match-ups have been determined. For example, in the lightweight bracket, Dave Sachs will test his ground game against Brian McLaughlin. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that McLaughlin will remove one of Sachs' limbs and beat him over the head with it. In the welterweight bracket, Mark Berraciol will square off against Charlie Brenneman. There will be no lay-and-pray in this one; expect Brenneman to put Berraciol on his back and pound on him for the duration. In the middleweight match-up, Mike Massenzio will take on the aforementioned Everson. Considering that Massenzio is a well-credentialed wrestler who walks around at about 300 pounds and cuts to 185, Everson will have his hands full. Rounding out the tournament, John Doyle will meet Ricardo Romero at light-heavyweight in a battle of mean dispositions. Whoever wins this one will most likely eat kittens and steal Christmas presents after the show. Fault the MMA Journalist crystal ball all you want, but you can take these predictions to the bank!

Velasquez and LaDonna's Battle for Ethnic Dominance the ROC16 Fight of the Night

When Tom Velasquez and Anthony "Guido" LaDonna have a battle that ends up being the Ring of Combat 16 fight of the night, a wealth of jokes spring to mind. I mean, come on! Velasquez versus "Guido"? But MMA Journalist won't go there, because that bout - which saw Velasquez put LaDonna through the submission ringer in Round One, and LaDonna tear Velasquez up on the feet in the second round before getting caught with a lightning-quick heelhook in the third - should get nothing but praise. No satire, no sarcasm, no snarkiness. Just praise. Velasquez and LaDonna fought with heart, and their efforts when the chokes, armbars, fists and shins were flying deserve a heaping portion of accolades and a healthy serving of respect.

M-1 Global: Horseshit? Or the Real Deal?

Yesterday's M-1 Global press conference in New York City was like many press conferences announcing the "next big thing". This time around it was Fedor Emelianenko being showered with roses and accolades, and there was the obligatory "we're all about the fighters" sweet talk mixed with promises of match-ups transcending organizations - all of which was tempered with a dash of "no TV deal as of yet". If you've been to one you've been to them all, and history shows us that these big-talkers always start strong and end up worse than the Hindenburg (a Hindenburg fueled not by hydrogen but by wildly-excessive fighter salaries and other combustible expenses). Yet one gentleman's presence gave me pause: M-1 Global's president and CEO, Monte Cox. Yes, the same Monte Cox who has managed dozens upon dozens of top-ranked fighters, and who has promoted dozens upon dozens of Extreme Challenge events (and even co-promoted a UFC). He's the real deal, and a shrewd-as-hell businessman - which tells me that M-1 Global isn't something that should be dismissed outright. Last night I heard talk of reverse-mergers to raise capital, financial backers in Mother Russia and an MMA version of "Rumble in the Jungle", and saw Gary Shaw of ProElite and Gareb Shamus of the IFL shaking some hands, but the real news? Monte Cox is driving this zeppelin; there's a good chance this one might actually fly.

Zuffa Attempts Jedi Mind Trick; Says Randy and Fedor Aren't the Heavyweights We're Looking For

After a tumultuous week that saw negotiations for Pride champ Fedor Emelianenko go down the crapper and the sudden resignation of UFC champ Randy Couture, Saturday night's UFC 77 seemed to be business as usual for the flagship promotion - with virtually no mention made of the two lost stars. In lieu addressing the news that had dominated the headlines leading up to the Cinncinatti event, Zuffa instead repeatedly cut to shots of Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira giving the camera a "thumbs-up", and alluded to a possible match-up against former champ Tim Sylvia. It was a Jedi Mind Trick of the first order. In fact, when commentator Joe Rogan attempted to broach the subject, a cloaked and hooded Dana White waved his hand and said, "Randy and Fedor aren't the heavyweights you're looking for. Move along. Move along." Rogan complied, declaring with enthusiasm, "Tim Sylvia is an animal! That man is my hero!" Some of us, however, aren't so weak-minded.

Rich Franklin to Brutalize Anderson Silva's Knees with Headbutts

Rich Franklin returns to the Octagon at UFC 77 to rematch with Anderson Silva and reclaim his belt, and he's determined to brutalize the champion with the same technique that very nearly finished the Brazilian in their last outing: headbutts to the knees. Yes, it's been over a year since UFC 64, when Franklin put his 185-pound title on the line and met the Muay Thai-specialist's dangerous striking with attacks aimed at Silva's shins and knuckles. That night, however, it was Franklin's headbutts to his opponent's knees that saw the most success - and you can bet that Franklin will employ that technique with fervor on Saturday night en route to snatching back his middleweight crown.

BCX3 to Feature First MMA Death on US Soil

Watching Carlos Moreno fight is like watching a clip from "World's Scariest Police Chases". Why? Because no matter what happens, you know someone is about to get fucked up. This Saturday, at Battle Cage Xtreme III in Atlantic City, Moreno will turn on the siren and flashing lights, and his DWI-speeding-riding around in a pickup truck with two tires blown out and sparks cascading off the rims-opponent will be UFC vet Kevin Jordan. How's this one going to end? Well, Moreno's only loss was to a Matt Serra-trained submission specialist - and Jordan is no Serra-trained submission specialist. You can bet the dangerous Rhino Fight Team slugger won't be the one rolling his vehicle six times before it crashes into an embankment and bursts into flames.