Chris Leben Tests Positive For White Trashiness

UFC 89 main eventer Chris Leben, who turned in a gutsy performance against Michael Bisping at the October 18th UK event despite losing a unanimous decision, has tested positive for white trashiness according to reports. Although he was sporting cornrows and spending an inordinate amount of time in trailer parks, Leben's positive test results comes as a surprise to many - especially to those who had believed his claims that he'd given up manufacturing crystal meth and had gotten his life back on track. "We're disappointed in Chris," said UFC Chief Welfare Check Co-Signer Dana White. "He's apologized and taken responsibility for his actions, but we don't tolerate any white trash in the UFC." As punishment, Leben faces a nine-month suspension, a substantial fine, and must subsist on food stamps.