Tuesday, November 11, 2008

MMA Journalist Exclusive: Brock Lesnar Admits to Abusing Leprechauns in Imaginary Interview

In an exclusive imaginary interview with MMA Journalist, Brock Lesnar, who squares off against heavyweight champ Randy Couture this weekend at UFC 91, has revealed that he is an abuser of leprechauns. The former WWE wrestler, who earned his shot at the UFC title with a mere 2-1 fight record, describes a darker aspect of himself that most fans probably don't know - an aspect that fans maybe don't want to know. Here's an excerpt from that shocking imaginary interview:
  • Mr. Lesnar, you've accomplished a lot in the world of wrestling, and on Saturday you're facing a legend in the sport of MMA, so you definitely have a lot to be proud of. Is there anything about you you're not proud of? Well, there is, actually. All my life I've hated leprechauns.
  • Leprechauns? Yeah. You know, those little Irish fellas who guard pots of gold at the end of rainbows? I hate 'em. Always have.
  • I see. And have you ever acted on this hatred? Yeah, I have. I mean, well, some might say I've abused them.
  • Abused? How so? Well, at first it was all verbal. Like, whenever I'd see them I'd put them down... make fun of their pointy shoes, things like that. But as time went by, I'd walk by and kick over their pots of gold. And lately, I've just been tackling them. They hate that. They hate getting their clothes messed up.
  • That's very interesting. And where do you think this hatred stems from? I don't know, man. I just hate 'em.
  • Okay. Are you at all worried that revealing this... behavior might adversely affect your fans' opinions of you? I don't know. I guess. But it's something I have to get off my chest. I mean, fans know me as this big hulk of guy who doesn't even remotely deserve a shot at the UFC belt - but really, I'm much more complex than that.
  • Wow. Well, thanks for your time, Brock. No, thank you.

No comments: