Karo Parisyan Tests Positive for Armenian

UFC welterweight Karo Parisyan, who eked out a split decision victory over Dong Hyun Kim at UFC 94, has tested positive for Armenian according to a report released by the Nevada State Athletic Commission today. Parisyan's almost meteoric rise and then steady decline has been well-documented within the fight world. In his Octagon debut at UFC 44, the accomplished judoka threw veteran fighter Dave Strasser around like a rag doll, and after a loss to Georges St. Pierre, he went on a win-streak that included star performances against Nick Diaz, Chris Lytle, Matt Serra and Nick Thompson. Unfortunately, losses to Diego Sanchez and Thiago Alves, as well as issues with depression and "panic attacks", have turned the former 170-pound top contender into a case study in "what might have been". "We suspected for a while now," says NSAC Chief Urinanalyst Keith Kizer. "You know, with the excessive body hair and the constant use of the word 'bro'. So we administered a test, and yes, Karo Parisyan is indeed Armenian." No word yet on what this means for Parisyan's career, or if the results of any of his past fights will be overturned.