President Obama Calls For Healing in Wake of Dana White's Profanity-Laced Tirade

President Barack Obama called for healing today in the wake of UFC Chief Potty Mouth Dana White's profanity-laced tirade, a tirade that rocked the nation's very foundation after it aired on the Internet last week. Speaking to the ailing country from the Oval Office, the Commander in Chief spoke of unity and bi-partisanship, and the strength and resolve of all being tested in this difficult time. "We as a people have lost our innocence," said Mr. Obama. "But we will heal, and we will emerge from this crisis a better nation for it." No word yet on whether there will be military action taken against Dana White, but reports indicate that elements of the 82nd Airborne have been mobilized to Las Vegas.