Tuesday, July 21, 2009

"Kimo Dead!" Says Midget Wrestler

World-renowned Midwest Midget Wrestling Champ of the World and Dairy Queen parking lot denizen Beau "One Man Army" Taylor is reporting that Hawaiian fighting legend Kimo Leopoldo has died of a heart attack, according to every cheese-eating blog and headline-starved newsite on the Internet. A veteran from the UFC's early days, Kimo burst onto the scene with a gutsy performance against Royce Gracie at UFC 3, and despite troubles with drug addiction, the charismatic heavyweight managed to return to MMA numerous times, defeating the likes of Paul Varelans, Tim Lajcik and Tank Abbott, and losing to Ken Shamrock twice. One Man Army, meanwhile, was once voted "Most Likely To Be Unable To Ride The Rollercoaster Because He Is Only This Tall". As of this writing, no one credible has determined if the rumor of Kimo's death is true. Stay tuned for more as the story develops.

1 comment:

firstnamejane said...

Dear Jim...you must be a midget too because OMA is the same size as you? You are right about him not riding the roller coaster but it wasn't because he was too small..it was because he had NO control of carnival rides!