Things That Won't Happen at Strikeforce Challengers "Kennedy vs. Cummings"

The latest installment of Strikeforce Challengers graces our television screens on Friday night, and the Showtime-broadcast event is chock full of wrestlers. Seriously, the event is named "Kennedy vs. Cummings" because Tim Kennedy and some scrub named Zak Cummings are meeting in the main event, but with all the wrestling pedigrees on the card a more apt name would've been "Wrestlemania Strikeforce". Or something. I dunno. Here are things that won't happen at the event.

• Active-duty US Special Forces operator Kennedy will not line the cage with M18A1 Claymore antipersonnel mines and detonate them should his fight against wrestler Cummings go poorly. No, the mines will be set up in Cummings' locker room.
• Kickboxing great Ray Sefo will not win via omoplata. That's just a hunch, though.
• Zach Light will not win.
• In the battle between two-time Olympic wrestler Daniel Cormier and two-time state wrestling champ Gary Frazier, no takedowns will be attempted. Instead, they'll engage in a stand-up war resembling 18th century-style prize fighting.
• After Travis Calonoc and Thomas Longacre fight, fans still won't know who they are.