Friday, November 27, 2009

Heavyweights Ben Rothwell, Paul Buentello, Cain Velasquez and Others to Cut to Light-Heavyweight to Flee Gypsy Curse

With an apparent gypsy curse hitting the UFC's heavyweight division hard, select fighters have announced that they'll be cutting down to 205 to compete and avoid the laundry list of illnesses and injuries that have inexplicably stricken their hefty brethen. At the top of list are Ben Rothwell, Paul Buentello and Cain Velasquez, with Rothwell dropping no less than 60 pounds to make the cut-off. "It's worth it," said the Midwest-based striker. "I mean, when I heard Brock [Lesnar] was sick I didn't think anything of it. But then [Antonio Rodrigo] Nogueira got staph, Shane Carwin hurt his knee, Randy Couture got old, Todd Duffee got leprosy... that's when I knew something was up, and I just had to avoid it." Buentello agreed. "Yeah, when Cheick Kongo woke up and it was raining frogs in his house and Mirko Crocop was suddenly sapped of all his talent, it was clear this division is cursed. And until Dana White does whatever he needs to do to appease the gypsies, I ain't messing with no evil eye-Santeria junk. I'd rather cut down on burritos and take my chances with Lyoto Machida, thank you very much." Added Velasquez, "Aye carumba." No word yet on when these new light-heavyweights will be competing or against whom, but it's safe to say that, if the heavyweight ranks continue to fall prey illness and injury, more fighters will make the switch.

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