Thursday, January 28, 2010

Predictions for Strikeforce: "Miami" - Or, "How I Learned To Love Freakshows"

Strikeforce: "Miami" is this weekend, and offering is a mixture of strong and solid and compelling matchmaker with a big dose of "What? What the hell are they smoking?" In the "strong and solid and compelling" column are gems like Nick Diaz vs. Marius Zaromskis, Cris Cyborg vs. Marloes Coenen and Melvin Manhoef vs. Robbie Lawler - a trio of bouts that would make an true MMA fan want to gnaw on their television. Meanwhile, in the "what the hell are they smoking" column... ex-pro wrestler Bobby Lashley and ex-football great Herschel Walker. Seriously? Lashley and Walker? Clearly someone at Strikeforce owns a huge bong, and the thing has been getting a lot of use lately. Anyhoo, predictions!
  • Zaromskis is a killer Lithuan striker and hot prospect right now, but his crowning achievement is icing Mach Sakurai. It's too soon for him to be facing Diaz.
  • Cyborg is going to get Coenen down, tear open her stomach, and eat the poor Dutchwoman's entrails. No, really. And when the ref gets too close, he's going to get it as well.
  • Manhoef by KO, unless Lawler goes for a takedown. Then Manhoef will flail around like a turtle stuck on his back.
  • Walker via touchdown!
  • Lashley is taking on Wes Sims, who's a last-minute opponent who, though experienced, hasn't trained for this bout. I think I need to take a hit off that bong...

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