According to a press release circulated by the venerable AMA Fight Club in New Jersey, longtime lightweight submission monster Brian McLaughlin has signed a three-fight deal with Strikeforce. In lieu of you having to look up that name – and me berating you for not knowing the New York-based fighter – I will instead cut straight to the chase and give you the 411 on him in bullet points. That way, the next time you’re in a bar spitting game at some girl, you can act all knowledgeable. (As if.)
- McLaughlin is a black belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu under Rob Khan. How good is his jiu-jitsu? He once tapped out a cougar. And I don’t mean an “older woman on the prowl” type of cougar.
- All of his MMA wins have been by submission. Ridiculously fast submission. Truthfully, this is a function of his sick transitioning ability. Watch and you’ll see.
- He has one MMA loss, and it was a close split decision to Rene Nazare. It has since been determined that Nazare is a Terminator, model T-880.
- McLaughlin made it into the house for TUF 8, but his opponent in the elimination bout (Brandon Garner) kneed him in the grill, and the subsequent medical suspension prevented McLaughlin from staying for the duration of the show. To this day, the rest of the TUF 8 cast still send Garner checks in gratitude.
- McLaughlin once met with New York MMA opponent Bob Reilly to enlighten the Assemblyman on the sport’s merits. No one knows the details about what they discussed behind closed doors, but since that meeting, Reilly weeps and cowers whenever he sees McLaughlin on the street.