Mark Kerr to Serve Up Another Big Helping of Suck

The Global Fighting Championship will debut on August 17th at the Mohegan Sun Arena in Connecticut, and Mark Kerr is slated to take on Sean O'Hare in what promises to be a barnburner. Not. Seriously, how is Kerr still finding work? From 1997 to 2000, he was a dominant competitor in the UFC and Pride, but it's been nearly seven years since he earned a "W" - or seemed like he even gave a shit. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the great fighter he once was. I was at the HBO screening of "The Smashing Machine" back in 2003, and shook Kerr's hand and thanked him for doing the film. But he's been phoning in his performances for a while now, and it's an insult to the other hardworking athletes on the August 17th card - athletes like Jeff Monson, Edwin Dewees, Ruben Villareal and Nuri Shakir - to share a marquee with someone not even trying. Is it possible that Kerr has perfected the Jedi Mind Trick? I can think of no other reason as to why matchmakers keep using him.

Dana White: Douche Bag or Not?

Dana White, the president of the UFC and one of the driving forces behind MMA going mainstream, is many things. But is he a douche bag? Allegedly, if your website provides a rival promotion with too much coverage, White will pull your UFC credentials. Allegedly, if you've earned a bonus for "fight of the night", White will try to slip you the money behind your manager's back. Allegedly, if you're a promoter and your headlining bout features Frank Shamrock against Caesar Gracie, White will prompt the athletic commission to question the matchmaking and the veracity of Gracie's record. Is there any truth to these allegations? Honestly, it doesn't matter. White is a businessman and this is all part of doing business. Sure, he doesn't really have to crap in anyone else's cornflakes, but he didn't have to swallow his pride and bring Tito Ortiz back to coach TUF 3, either. Nor did he have to fly old-school UFC veteran Fred Ettish out to UFC 45 to stand alongside the Hall of Famers. Nor did he have to hold private press dinners, or fund the UFC 38 after-party, or bend over backwards to get the commission-suspended Nick Diaz into the building at the TUF 5 Finale so Diaz could see his brother Nate fight. At the end of the day it's all about the Benjamins, and douche bag or not, White's dogged belief in the sport has put food on the table for a lot of people.

Back in 2003, there was a joke among industry insiders that went something like, "How do you lose millions of dollars? Make Dana White the president of your company." With the UFC suddenly a true financial empire, I wonder who's laughing now?

Will the IFL Shit the Bed?

A fellow journalist asked me this as we sat watching the IFL's semi-finals at the Continental Airlines Arena last week, and I'm not sure if he heard my answer over the din of the 7,077 people in attendance. Amidst a sea of fans wearing a variety of IFL team jerseys, I told my cohort that it's a race against time. Can the relatively new promotion reshape the MMA market with its team concept before it runs out of capital? Or, as the published quarterly statements might imply, has it been hemorrhaging money? As men, women and children alike clamored by to ask for Deividas Taurosevicius' autograph or shake Chris Horodecki's hand, I pointed out that the IFL business model seemed somewhat sound - more so than that of the failed WFA or Ultimate Athlete. Obviously, the IFL would like the teams to matter more than the individual fighters to consumers. But, I said, as the ring announcer hyped the weekly TV show and the crowd cheered the unusually large number of local competitors populating the card, it really boils down to whether the general public accepts - or rejects - the IFL brand. Again, I'm not sure if my colleague heard me, as just then a team mascot in a furry pitbull suit blew a trumpet in our faces and we were showered with confetti.

The First Rule of Underground Combat League

The first rule of NYC's Underground Combat League: do not talk about the Underground Combat League. The second rule of the Underground Combat League: DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE UNDERGROUND COMBAT LEAGUE!

The WEC: Same Great UFC Taste, but with Half the Calories

Have SpikeTV reruns got you down? Are you thirsty for some UFC but unwilling to wait a month until the next pay-per-view? Then try the new and improved World Extreme Cagefighting on the Versus channel! With a faint hint of the top tier thanks to Paulo Filho, Carlos Condit and Urijah Faber, plus a big serving of journeyman in Jamie Varner, Tiki Ghosen, and John Alessio, the Zuffa-owned WEC gives MMA fans a boost while providing eight essential vitamins and minerals. Try some WEC today!

Lyman Good Crushes His Enemies, Sees Them Driven Before Him, and Hears the Lamentation of Their Women

He's undefeated, with dangerous grappling, fearsome striking and unmatched conditioning. He's Team Tiger Schulmann 175-pounder Lyman Good, a.k.a. "Lyman the Terrible", a.k.a. "Lyman the Barbarian", and at the recent IFL semi-finals event in New Jersey, he met Team Quest's Mike Dolce on the field of battle and emerged victorious. Few can withstand what Good brings into combat, and fewer still can bear what defeat at his hands may bring. For their losses at Ring of Combat 9 and Ring of Combat 10, Adam Fearon and John Zecchino were sold into slavery, while it's rumored that Dolce returned to Team Quest's kingdom in Gresham, Oregon to find the city pillaged and burning. Is there none out there who dare meet the challenge of this conquering warrior? Someone who won't wither under the cold steel of his lead roundkick, or falter under the fury of his razor-sharp flurry? Perhaps there is. Or, perhaps there isn't, and we all shall soon be calling him "Lyman the King".

Tim Boetsch Proves He's Got Balls the Size of Grapefuit, Maybe Bigger

At the IFL's semi-finals event tonight at the Continental Airlines Arena in New Jersey, the Michigan Squirrels will square off against the South Dakota Prairie Dogs, and the Maine Lobsters will take on the New Mexico Armadillos. Or something like that. Anyway, the big news is local light-heavyweight Reality Fighting, Extreme Challenge Northeast, and USKBA champ Tim Boetsch stepping in to face Vladimir Matyushenko. For those who don't know, "Vladdy" is a heavy-handed wrestler and a four-time UFC veteran, with his losses to Tito Ortiz in 2001 and Andrei Arlovski in 2003 two of the only three blemishes on his 18-3 record. Yes, folks, Vladdy is one bad dude. Which makes Boetsch's getting in the ring with him the act of either a raving lunatic, or the act of someone with a huge set of balls. Having seen Boetsch fight, and dominate, and pull out the win even when he himself was getting dominated, I'm more inclined to believe it's the latter. Matyushenko is a huge step up in competition, and Boetsch deserves a ton of respect for even considering it.

Matt Lee Succeeds In Not Getting Butt Totally Kicked; In Fact, Looks Impressive

New Englander Matt Lee landed on the wrong side of a unanimous decision when he took on Eddie Alvarez at the July 14th BodogFIGHT show in Trenton, New Jersey. However, the veteran Team Elite representative was successful in one regard: he survived - a feat made so much more notable by the fact that few predicted he'd last more than a round when the match-up was announced. Lee ate a ton of leather taking the heavy-handed superstar the distance. But he dished it out too, and even bloodied his opponent's nose and tripped Alvarez to the canvas as time ran out. When it was all over, there was no question Alvarez, BodogFIGHT's recently dethroned welterweight king, had won. And there was also no question that Lee - who fought hard out of every bad position and refused to be bullied around the ring - had looked impressive.

To Do: Buy Stock in CFFC

Whatever the folks behind the Cage Fury Fighting Championship are doing, they're doing it right. Case in point: the recently announced card for their October 12th, Atlantic City event. Kimbo versus Tank. Former King of Pancrase Ricardo Almeida coming out of retirement to face Dennis Hallman. Old-school kickboxing champs Derek Panza and Duke Roufus squaring off in an MMA bout. Veteran fighter Chris Brennan against local champ Jim Miller. The UFC may have a stranglehold on top talent, but CFFC matchmaker Gary Marino has used his fight knowledge, creativity, and negotation skills to turn water into wine (i.e., made compelling bouts out of nothing). If the MMA market is finite and dominated by the UFC, well, CFFC is doing a great job with their product and carving out their own share. Now excuse me while I call my broker.

The Trouble with Bloggers

I read just about anything and everything related to MMA, and this morning I spied some gems on two seperate blogs. One blogger spoke of TUF veteran Luke Cummo's up-coming fight and said that Cummo is well-known for his jiu-jitsu skills. Another blogger talked of UFC Lightweight Champ Sean Sherk being stripped of his belt, and he suggested that BJ Penn fight for the vacant title against either Joe Stevenson or Roger Huerta. Please, God, smite these bloggers - obviously newcomers to the sport and weaned on nothing but Zuffa's MMA milk - for their ignorance. Cummo was a Muay Thai fighter (his last venture into the ring just before TUF was a kickboxing bout at Combat at the Capitale in NYC), while it's universally accepted that Stevenson and Huerta are far from ready for the likes of Penn. Sadly, those two web-writers know only what they've seen on SpikeTV or pay-per-view, and neither have a knowledgeable editor to catch these gaffs. They can print anything. Which, ultimately, is the trouble with bloggers.