Friday, May 14, 2010
Liveblog: UCC 2 Part 2
First fight and it's not Josh Key vs. Kevin Horowitz, as Horowitz gets negged at the last minute by the doctors for hypertension. Too bad, as that was a good match-up. Instead, 261-pound behemoth Willie Johnson and 246-pound mass of muscle Mike Dunaj take to the cage. Johnson hails from American Eagle Martial Arts, which is an affiliate of the GAP MMA Club and Team Banana Republic. This one is all Johnson, as he bullrushes Dunaj, gets on top and blasts him with about 300 fists and forearms. Ref Big Dan calls a stop to the onslaught at 2:27 of Round 1. Next is 145ers James Meals and Advanced Martial Arts' Jay McLean. Meals is actually the kickboxing instructor for Gold Team Fighters and he's been around MMA forever, but McLean is young, hungry and wanted in 15 states for a litany of crimes that include cattle rustling, jostling and soliciting a robot, so we'll see how this one goes. The bout begins and McLean comes out with guns blazing, landing strikes and throwing his opponent like he hates him. But Meals battles back hard, getting back to his feet and throwing knees and punches that put McLean on notice that he's in for a helluva fight. This slow in Round 2, as McLean is all about the ground and pound and Meals is suddenly tentative about launching leather lest he get taken down, while the final round Meals threatens with an armbar and almost takes McLean's back but is ultimately almost overwhelmed with strikes at the final bell. The Advanced Martial Arts rep takes the unanimous decision, but the cards don't do justice to the fact that this was one of the best James Meals we've seen in a long time.
Liveblog: UCC 2 Part 1
MMA Journalist is here at the Armory in Jersey City for the second installment of the Urban Conflict Championship - a pro MMA show that does not require a two-hour trek to Atlantic City. Woot. Anyway, the card is a strong eight-bout collection of local rockstars in the making. In addition to Dante Rivera taking on Ryan Contaldi in the main event, Team Renzo's John Cholish is on deck to face Hitalo Machado, TSMMAer Carlos Brooks and Alexandre Moreno are going at it, and AMA FC's Sean Santella is going to do battle against Josh Rave in a flyweight bout. Sadly, it looks like the Joey Camacho/Jimmie Rivera match-up is off because Rivera couldn't get down to bantamweight. Is it me or is everyone starting to get out of control with the trips down the weight classes? Didn't UFC lightweight champ Frankie Edgar - who walks around at 118 pounds - just prove that you don't need to cut weight to win?
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Mitch the Intern's TUF 11 Recap: Episode 7
*Editor's note: Mitch the Intern is an NYU undergrad whose favorite Wednesday night pastime includes the TV in his dorm room, a green beanbag chair and two hits of acid. Enjoy.*
This week TUF celebrates National Loser Day with an episode focused on those loveable scamps who just quite aren't up to snuff, who don't exactly measure up and who ultimately suck when it comes to fighting. That's right, this is the episode that features the final quarterfinal match-up - between Leonidas, a guy who everyone agrees hails from Stinksville, USA, and Sucky McSuck (aka, Seth Bacitracin), the person who was defeated in the bout to gain entry into the TUF House but who was brought back because Chevy Camaro died. Also, apparently the term "wildcard" means "loser who gets a second chance at losing". Woot. But first…
Joe Feminine may have defeated the Amish Kid, but he apparently looked to be a shadow of his real self in the process.
"I am a shadow of my real self," he says, limping but throwing colorful streamers to and fro. "My knee feels loose," he says.
Just the knee?
Anyhoo, in the locker room post-fight he sits, his knee examined by a doctor. "Ah yes," says the doctor. "I've seen this type of injury before. It happens when you sashay too much."
"Pshaw!" says Joe Feminine.
It's fight announcement time, and despite it being Ortiz's turn to choose, and despite there being only two competitors left to fight, coach Chuck Liddell stands up and declares aloud, "I pick Abraham Lincoln and the Kraken."
A disgusted Dana White shakes his head and says, "Just ignore him."
So, Leonidas and Seth Bacitracin are paired up, and immediately everyone - the teammates, the housemates, the coaches and trainers, and even the dudes who drive the vans that take the TUFers to and from the Training Center - come before the camera to talk about how much Leonidas sucks.
"He's only been doing MMA for six months," says Hawaii Five-O.
"He hits like a girl," says Team Liddell's boxing coach, Senator Howard Dean.
"Leonidas can wrestle, but that's about it," says Ronnie Kray.
"My cat's breath smells like catfood," says Liddell.
Even Leonidas gets in on the hatefest. "I train hard and I want to go far in this sport. Oh, also, I can't fight worth a damn."
Training montage, and Leonidas is seen trying to hit some focus mitts. He misses horribly, stumbles, and manages to fall through a plate glass window and into a moat full of alligators. Meanwhile, Seth Bacitracin sits with Ortiz, lavishing the UFC fighter with praise and gratitude for giving him a second chance. "You know, when I lost to the Amish Kid I was really bummed, but you believed in me enough to bring me back."
"Do I know you?" says Ortiz.
More training, and Joe Feminine is boxing with a teammate in the Octagon when his knee gives out. He tumbles to the ground. "It's loose! It's loose!" he exclaims, and everyone backs away aghast. "I'm talking about my knee!" he says, and at that clarification everyone lets out a collective "Oh" and moves to help him.
Then it's fight time, and somehow, someway the man who everyone took the time to describe as "sucky", "lame", "worthless in the cage" and "a total freakin' joke when it comes to unarmed combat" manages to grapple the hell out of Seth Bacitracin. Back and forth, back and forth on the ground, one catching the other in a dominant position and the other escaping and reversing, and then Round 1 and Round 2 are done. The judges have it a draw, so it goes to Round 3 - the perfect time and place for the exhausted Leonidas to live up to his hype. He does so by laying down and going to sleep. Seth Bacitracin earns the unanimous decision.
But wait, there's more!
With little fanfare, White has everyone gather for the wildcard announcements. Who lost but will get another chance to lose again? Who gets to demonstrate their lack of skills over and over again?
"RC Cola, you get to come back and fight Ronnie Kray," says White. "And because Rich Atonofneato is injured, Amish Kid, you get to return. Also, I'm bringing back Mirko CroCop, Ken Shamrock and Steve Jennum. Because, you know, it's National Loser Day."
And there you have it.
MMA and the Legal Injunction: A Fond Look Back
Don King filed an injuction against Shine Fights to stop boxer Ricardo Mayorga - whom he manages in boxing - from facing Din Thomas in an MMA bout. All arguments as to whether King's injunction has merit aside, what's noteworthy here is that a simple sheaf of documents could sink a pay-per-view mere days before its scheduled date. Thus is the power of the legal injunction. And though MMA's history is a short one, it's a history rife with broken contracts, copyright infringements and countless other court-based fisticuffs. What are some of the more noteworthy legal actions taken in mixed martial arts? MMA Journalist has compiled a list!
Zuffa v. US Department of Transportation – If 16 years of UFC action has taught us anything, it’s that the “Superbowl of Mixed Martial Arts” will sue the pants off of anyone who dares use an eight-sided cage. But Zuffa has absolutely no compunctions about going after anyone employing literally anything with eight-sides, which has led to lawsuits against such children shows as Sesame Street and Yo Gabba Gabba (for their episodes centering around shapes), as well as against the US Department of Transportation for their use of the stop sign. Although six local Las Vegas judges in have ruled in Zuffa’s favor, the US District Court and the US Court of Appeals have denied the injunction against the Department of Transportation. The US Supreme Court may still weigh in on the matter.
United States Equestrian Federation v. Alistair Overeem – The US Equestrian Federation loves horses, and Strikeforce heavyweight champ Alistair Overeem loves horse meat. Put to the two together and you have a legal injunction that forbids the Golden Glory fighter from coming within two miles of such events as the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness and the Belmont Stakes. After all, if his massive size and physique doesn’t come from steroids but instead comes from eating steeds and ponies (as he claims), then Overeem must go through about a horse a day. To the US Equestrian Federation, that simply will not do, hence the restraining order.
Food and Drug Administration v. Paulo Filho – The Food and Drug Administration is tasked with regulating prescription drugs, and to them, former Pride star and ex-WEC champ Paulo Filho is practically a walking pharmacy. Thus, whenever Filho attempts to re-enter the United States, the FDA has agents meet him at the border – not to arrest or detain him, but to just marvel at the fact that someone so whacked out and unreliable can somehow still book fights. This tact has so far worked well in keeping the Brazilian out of the country, but if he at some point does make it in, there’s a legal injunction in place that would keep fans and fighters alike from taking him seriously.
American Medical Association v. Andrei Arlovski – Nine out of ten doctors agree that Andrei Arlovski has taken far too many hard blows to the head, with five of those same doctors conceding that at this point he’s in danger of getting knocked out when faced with someone with just a simple case of bad breath. Consequently, the AMA has filed an injunction that would mandate his use of a foam helmet for whenever he fights, with past opponents Fedor Emelianenko and Brett Rogers going on record to voice their support of the legal requirement. Said Emelianenko: “Da.”
Worldwide Karate Organization v. Mauricio “Shogun” Rua’s right hand – The stated mission of the Worldwide Karate Organization is to “promote the belief and practice of karate as a viable form of unarmed combat”. Unfortunately, after Saturday night’s UFC 113 and the abrupt destruction of Shotokan practitioner Lyoto Machida, that mission’s viability took a serious blow. Thus, the Worldwide Karate Organization has filed an injunction against Shogun’s right hand, asking that the courts ban its use against any MMA competitor who practices blocks and katas instead of learning how to box.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
The Best Part About Shine Fights' "Worlds Collide"?
The best part about Shine Fights' "Worlds Collide: Mayorga vs. Thomas" event on pay-per-view isn't that the price tag is about 20 bucks, nor is it that we'll get to watch Din Thomas wreck boxer Ricardo Mayorga (Don King injunction be damned), or that we'll get to see Murilo "Ninja" Rua, Nick Thompson and Jamal Patterson in action. No, the best part about the show on Saturday night is that Bruce Beck is doing cageside commentary. There are professional play-by-play announcers, and then there's Beck, who is the absolute best in the business - something evident from his stint as one of the UFC's first mic-men to his long-running gig as a sportscaster for NBC News here in New York. I admit, I was barely cognizant that this event was coming up, but once I heard that Beck was working it, well, let me just say I know what we're going to be watching in the MMA Journalist household on Saturday night.
The Big Winners and Losers Coming Out of UFC 113
Mauricio “Shogun” Rua knocked out Lyoto Machida to become the new light-heavyweight champ, Josh Koscheck earned the unanimous decision over Paul Daley, Matt Mitrione TKO’d Kimbo Slice, blah, blah, blah. Forget the individual results of the bouts and who snagged themselves a belt or a shot at the title, because coming out of UFC 113 the biggest winners and losers didn’t have their records marked with an “L” or a “W”. No, those who benefited and suffered the most did so indirectly and in a fashion not easily seen by the untrained eye. Thankfully, here’s a list of Saturday night’s big winners and losers, in no particular order.
Big Winner: Strikeforce – For hearing the final bell, picking himself up off the ground and feeding his opponent a post-fight dose of fist salad, Brit striker Paul Daley got himself kicked out of the UFC. Kimbo Slice, meanwhile, got the boot for sucking. Ultimately, that makes Strikeforce the big winner here, as now the brand of MMA fighting that is decidedly not of the Octagon variety gets to insert a young, brash thug and an old, reformed thug into their freakshow menagerie rotation. Want to see Daley lose to Nick Diaz, punch him in the back of the head after the bell and get stabbed? Want to see Kimbo vs. Herschel Walker, Kimbo vs. Bo Cantrell II or even just Kimbo vs. a treadmill? Tune in to Strikeforce on CBS, and check your local listings for dates and times.
Big Loser: Karate – When Machida knocked out Thiago Silva at UFC 94, approximately 800,000 karate refugees ran to their closets and dusted off their black gis with the patches of a yin-yang symbol and a fist punching an eagle in the crotch sewn on the shoulders. Then, when the Brazilian destroyed Rashad Evans, those same refugees began practicing the heretofore forgotten “MMA kata” with pride. Well, the Empty-Handed Way once again suffered a blow on Saturday night, and much like when Royce Gracie made Minoki Ichihara his bitch at UFC 2, it’s doubtful it will ever fully recover. No amount of board-breaking would’ve prevented Shogun from crushing Machida, and there is no “kiai” battle cry loud enough to stop a right hand to the dome – two revelations that are once again illuminating the sad truth that the karate dojo a great place to pick up chicks but a crappy place to learn how to fight for real.
Big Winner: Dan Severn – When UFC Hall of Famer Dan Severn burst onto the scene at UFC 4, he was a wrecking machine of takedowns and ground and pound, and he blazed a trail in this new sport that countless wrestlers have followed. But the man with wins over the likes of Ken Shamrock, Paul Buentello and Forrest Griffin saw his last venture into the Octagon end in defeat at the hands (actually, leg-kicks) of Pedro Rizzo at UFC 27, and nearly ten years passed before we saw him in action again. God bless the 51-year old for returning at UFC 113. Looking somehow young, svelte and rejuvenated, and possessing far better boxing than he’d ever shown in his early days, Severn was almost like a new, completely (and genetically) different man. Though he may have lost via choke to Joe Doerksen, Severn showed the world on Saturday night that the “Beast” is still a force to be reckoned with.
Big Loser: The Douchebags of the World – Webster’s New and Improved Deluxe Dictionary defines “douchebag” as “someone you just can’t help but to hate”, and on Saturday night – with Koscheck faking an injury from a phantom illegal knee to the head and Daley landing an extra-curricular punch – even the world’s douchebags were throwing their sneakers at their television screens. Is it possible to dislike a pair of fighters in a bout so much you hope they somehow both lose the decision? It is possible for a crowd to boo a fighter so harshly that it counts as a loss on their record? Going in to their UFC 113 bout, we all knew Koscheck and Daley were going to be cast as villains in the epic saga that is the wholesome Georges St. Pierre Show, but who knew that by the end of the night even the drug dealers, kidnappers, pirates and overly-aggressive panhandlers of the world would want to disavow all relations to them? For their despicable behavior, Koscheck and Daley seemingly did the impossible: they gave douchebags a bad name.
Big Winner: The Facial-Reconstruction and Plastic Surgery Industry – As per the Unified Rules of Mixed Martial Arts, spiking an opponent on their head is bad. Very bad. But slamming an opponent on their face? All good in the ‘hood, bro. Don’t believe it? Just ask Alan Belcher, who picked up Patrick Cote and drove the Canadian’s grill into the canvas with the kind of force that would make two men married under the laws of New Hampshire, Massachusetts and Vermont. Unfortunately, with the discovery of this loophole in the rules comes the inevitable proliferation of fighters with completely messed up mugs – which should prove to be a boon for the facial-reconstruction and plastic surgery industry. Suddenly ugly because Brock Lesnar sat on the back of your head? Fear not! For a fee, you can get fixed right up. After all, it worked for Wanderlei Silva, didn’t it?
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