Underwhelming UFC 85 Lacks Hair Power

After an historic last weekend, which saw the EliteXC/CBS "Saturday Night Fights" network TV debut and an awe-inspiring WEC on the Versus channel, comes an underwhelming UFC 85 at the O2 Arena in London. Originally featuring Chuck Liddell against Rashad "Afroman" Evans, "Bedlam" had a ton of hair-power when first announced. But an extraordinary number of injuries and bald-headed replacements has made this UK UFC installment a lacklaster one - moreso thanks to Kimbo's beard, Urijah Faber's cornrows, Brett Rogers and Jens Pulver's mohawks, Joey Villasenor's lone forehead curl and Miguel Torres' Mexi-mullet. Who on tomorrow's Matt Hughes/Thiago Alves-headlined card will provide more than a short-buzzed fuzz? Who will captivate fans with their long, flowing locks? Sadly, Bedlam has no one.

Referee Dan Miragliotta Under Fire for Role in Baby Fighting Ring

New Jersey referee Dan Miragliotta, the third man in the cage for the Kimbo Slice/James Thompson fight on CBS and a veteran official for UFCs, IFLs and a multitude of Garden State events, came under fire this weekend when it was revealed that he played a role in an underground baby fighting ring recently uncovered by police. Unlicensed baby fighting, in which two children below the age of 2 are pitted against each other in a crib or playpen while adults wager on the outcome, is a growing problem in daycare centers across the country, and authorities have been quick to prosecute all those involved. According to preliminary reports, Miragliotta oversaw dozens of bouts and specialized in the heavier "toddler weight class". The New Jersey State Athletic Control Board, which employs Miragliotta for adult MMA events, declined to comment.

EliteXC A Success According to Preliminary Ratings; Enraged Dana White Has Four Zuffa Employees Killed

In the wake of the release of preliminary ratings for EliteXC/CBS' "Saturday Night Fights", which point to the first-ever primetime network TV MMA show as a resounding success, MMA Journalist has learned that UFC Tribal Leader Dana White - acting in a fit of rage - ordered the deaths of four random Zuffa employees. The identities of the employees are not yet known, although sources indicate two were beheaded, one was strangled and one was repeatedely run down and backed over by White's official UFC Hummer. Stay tuned for more as the story develops.

EliteXC/CBS "Saturday Night Fights" Media Meal a Disgrace; Show Pretty Damn Good Though

The EliteXC/CBS "Saturday Night Fights" event, which played out before a live audience of 8,033 and was broadcast on CBS, featured a media meal of hot dogs, oversized cookies of varying types, and large bowls of kettle-cooked potato chips - a disgraceful selection and an abomination to the world of free food. Yes, there was a fully-stocked refrigerator with cans of soda and bottles of water, all of which was well-chilled, but it did little to offset the bad taste left in the mouths of those forced to dine on frankfurters mired in sauerkraut. To add insult to injury, the production crew's buffet was opulent with chicken breasts and vegetables and assorted desserts of the fruit tart, eclair and napolean variety. Does EliteXC think so little of the freeloading media? Is this how they hedge their bets against possible bad reviews? I sincerely hope not. In other news, the rest of the EliteXC/CBS event - from the fights on down to production - was pretty damn good. Stellar, in fact.

Kimbo Slice is Everywhere - Does He Deserve the Hype?

Oh hell yeah.

Scenes From an EliteXC Presser in NYC

Kimbo Slice, Matt Hughes, Bas Rutten, Jon Murphy and free food. What more could you want?

Q & A with Urijah Faber's Nutritionist

When WEC featherweight champ Urijah Faber squares off against Jens Pulver this Sunday, it won't just be one of the smallest fighters in the world taking on another equally small dude. No, when Faber throws down, it will mark the collaborative efforts of coaches and training partners - and even a nutritionist. MMA Journalist caught up with Hans Fitzel, the man who feeds the incumbent champ, and got his perspective. Tell us about Faber's diet. What does he eat when training for a fight? During a training cycle, Urijah eats what any highly-active mammal of comparable size would eat. Namely, fresh vegetables, seeds and insects like grasshoppers. When his training cycle winds down, we try to supplement his protein and carb intake with a few grams of hamster food. You know, just to make sure he peaks energy-wise. What will he eat the day of the fight? Generally, the skin of fruits such as apples or pears - to keep his blood sugar up - and maybe some whole grain oats. Urijah often carries food in his spacious cheek pouches, so he'll mostly eat from that. Do you advocate any energy drinks or Gatorade for your fighter? Absolutely not. Urijah's tiny nervous system isn't equipped for the shock an energy drink would give him, and he has a water bottle attached to his cage that's more than enough for replenishing his fluids. What about for his post-fight celebration? Urijah seems content to munch on a gram or two of cheese. Interesting. Well, thanks for your time. Thank you.

"Saturday Night Fights" Preview Madlib

This Saturday, EliteXC makes __(noun)___ with their live network debut on CBS - the first ___(noun)____ to reach primetime television. The ___(noun)___ is headlined by Kimbo Slice, considered by many to be one of the most ___(adjective)___ heavweights in the ___(noun)____. Opponent James Thompson, on the other hand, is ___(simile)___ , and will no doubt ___(metaphor)___ once the cage door shuts. Also on the card is Phil Baroni, the ____(superlative)____ warrior ___(preposition)___ the East Coast, taking on ___(adverb)____ Joey Villasenor, while Gina Carano __(verb)___ to mix ___(anaphora)___ up with Kaitlin Young. Says EliteXC Grand Poobah Gary Shaw, "___(onomatopoeia)___ this Saturday. With Dana White ___(slang)___ and ___(expletive)____ , we're going to ___(rhetoric)____ and ____(hyperbole)____ the competition."

What The Hell Are You Thinking?

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That Other Show in New Jersey This Weekend

Saturday and EliteXC and CBS and Kimbo Slice and Newark and blah, blah, blah! Okay, now that that's out of the way, there's actually another MMA event in New Jersey this weekend. It's called the World Fighting Championships, and whereas most promotions like to go the highly-publicized route, the WFC is coming to the Tropicana Casino & Resort in Atlantic City on Friday in full-on stealth mode. Good for them! Screw potential ticket buyers knowing of your event! Who needs 'em anyway! As the Florida-based WCF has done such a bang-up job getting their event out there, very little is known about the card other than Kit Cope, Andrew Montanez, Eric Henry and Hercules Benjamin are fighting. Maybe. Or maybe you'll get a cloth sack thrown over your head and a healthy dose of baseball bat love if you show up to the venue. Who knows?

Strikeforce on NBC a Hit with Coveted Vampire Demographic

"Strikeforce on NBC", NBC's weekly Strikforce compilation program that airs on Saturday nights at 1:30am, is a ratings hit according to industry sources. A recent ratings breakdown indicated that Strikforce on NBC is the most-watched show in the coveted vampire demographic, with the program also scoring consistently high among insomniacs as well as in the meth addict and zombie demographics. "We're pleased to see our product do well with the soulless and other creatures of the night," said Strikforce CEO Scott Coker. "We're looking forward to delivering more action-packed programming to NBC viewers - be they living or dead - throughout the year."