Because There's A Fistfight Going On Somewhere In New York Right Now, And You Should Know About It
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
New Jersey Fun Facts: 2009 Edition
Did you know…?
- There were 45 sanctioned MMA events in New Jersey in 2009.
- Of these events, there were 125 professional MMA bouts.
- There were also 346 amateur MMA bouts.
- Referee Dan Miragliotta used 671 bottles of tanning lotion.
- A total of 13 people died eating spoiled food from the staff cafeteria within the Tropicana Casino & Resort in Atlantic City (which hosts the Ring of Combat events). No one complained, however, because it was free.
- The UFC held zero events within the Garden State, which is the same number they held there in 2008.
- Asylum Fight League promoter Carl Mascarenhas killed a man just because he thought the man looked at him funny.
- No manatees were harmed at any sanctioned MMA events over the course of the year – which is a new safety record for the State of New Jersey!
Predictions for Strikeforce: "Miami" - Or, "How I Learned To Love Freakshows"
- Zaromskis is a killer Lithuan striker and hot prospect right now, but his crowning achievement is icing Mach Sakurai. It's too soon for him to be facing Diaz.
- Cyborg is going to get Coenen down, tear open her stomach, and eat the poor Dutchwoman's entrails. No, really. And when the ref gets too close, he's going to get it as well.
- Manhoef by KO, unless Lawler goes for a takedown. Then Manhoef will flail around like a turtle stuck on his back.
- Walker via touchdown!
- Lashley is taking on Wes Sims, who's a last-minute opponent who, though experienced, hasn't trained for this bout. I think I need to take a hit off that bong...
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Chuck Liddell: "I Still Have About Four Brain-Damaging Concussions Left In Me"
Despite a string of crushing losses that saw him plummet from the top of the light-heavyweight heap to the bottom, aging ex-champ Chuck Liddell insists that the desire to get into the cage and compete burns within him, and that he’s far from done. “I still have about four brain-damaging concussions left in me,” says the kickboxer-turned-MMA superstar-turned-failed dancer, whose last tango in the Octagon left him unconscious and then incoherent for months after. “I mean, Dana [White] doesn’t want me to fight anymore, but what does he know? He’s not a neurologist.” It was, however, a board-certified neurologist who declared Liddell’s cognitive abilities “perilously close to vegetable status – like a zucchini or squash or something” – due to trauma sustained by knockouts at the hands of Quinton Jackson, Rashad Evans and Mauricio “Shogun” Rua (three of Liddell’s last four opponents). “The Iceman” is currently in Las Vegas for the filming of the upcoming season of “The Ultimate Fighter”, which will see him serve as a coach for the eleventh season opposite longtime rival Tito Ortiz. It’s assumed that after TUF 11 ends, Liddell will face Ortiz for a third time in the UFC in a bout no one really cares to see.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Upcoming UCL to Feature Ex-Con vs. Funaro Brother
Usually, when you go to an underground show you never know who’s going to fight. Not so with the upcoming installment of the Underground Combat League, which will feature ex-convict nicknamed “Wargod” against veteran MMA fighter Joe Funaro in what will be the culmination of one heck of an Internet tempest in a digital teacup. For those out of the loop, Wargod was at the center of an online witch hunt, which spilled over into reality when Wargod confronted one of his non-anonymous accusers (James Funaro, twin brother to Joe) at his gym. Now it’s Joe’s turn to throw down. Is this a bad-blood kind of match-up? By all accounts, no, there’s no bad blood there at all. But based on the amount of attention and press it’s garnered, this is most certainly a bout people want to see. Who will win? Based on MMA experience alone, Joe has the edge, and being younger, and possessing of a wide range of fight skills, doesn’t hurt his cause. Wargod – a self-described “big puncher” – has a chance, but the odds aren’t in his favor. Of course, only time will tell.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Deconstructing Governor Paterson's Proposed NY MMA Bill
Yeah, so, Governor David Paterson wants MMA in New York State and he wants it now, and he even had his people draw up a bill that would make it legal and kosher and approved by nine out of ten dentists who chew Trident gum. That’s right, it’s a brand-spanking new bill to legalize MMA and quite unlike the one that was almost passed last year, this one full of all sorts of goodies like tax rates and payouts based on attendance and what I think is Braille (it’s hard to tell over the Internet). Anyway, MMA Journalist has examined the text, and here are some of the more salient points:
- “Combative sports” are still banned and “martial arts” are not, with professional mixed martial arts falling under the “martial arts” exception. “Professional mixed martial arts” is defined as any MMA bout where the participants are paid (or receive some form of compensation). Translation: hello unpaid amateur MMA loophole! Here, sit down and have a drink. You know, we thought you were going to leave us, but instead it looks like you’re here to stay.
- A “professional mixed martial arts participant” is defined as any paid fighter, or coach, or trainer, or someone who “pursues or assists in the practice of mixed martial arts” for dough. Translation: the State can regulate everybody who makes a buck off the sport – and even regulate gyms where sparring occurs.
- “No person or entity shall have, either directly or indirectly, any financial interest in a professional mixed martial arts participant competing on premises owned or leased by the person or entity, or in which such person or entity is otherwise interested.” Translation: I guess venue owners can’t bet on or sponsor fighters?
- No mismatches allowed. However, “nothing in this subdivision shall authorize the commission to intervene… solely on the basis of the difference between respective participant’s martial arts disciplines.” Translation: Muay Thai vs. Tai Chi is a go!
- “No participant shall be allowed to participate in more than three matches or exhibitions or compete for more than sixty minutes within seventy-two consecutive hours.” Translation: eight-man tournaments are good; sixteen-man tournaments are bad. Very bad.
- All promoters must have insurance coverage for the fighters. If a fighter is injured, the minimum limit of coverage is fifty-thousand bucks. If a fighter dies, the minimum limit is a hundred-thousand bucks. Translation: getting injured and dying might be worthwhile. For your family, at least.