Observations from My Couch: ShoXC 9/26

• Erik Apple handily defeated the game Matt Makowski via rear naked choke in the second round. As a consolation to Makowski, Apple allegedly gave him two porn stars at the afterparty.
• Jaime Jara, bedecked in a variety of tattoos that includes the word "hate" across his chest, out-pointed Giva Santana for the win. Jara will now return to his full-time job running a day care center for young children.
• Malipet is living proof that Thais with one name are serious badasses on the feet. He's also living proof that Thais with one name suck on the ground.
• Wilson Reis went five rounds with Abel Cullum to snag the EliteXC Bantamweight Championship. After the event, Reis dragged the belt back to his burrow, where it will sit with his winter supply of acorns and nuts.