Official Statement from Showtime

Showtime, the cable network that was home to EliteXC and ShoXC, sent this statement to MMA Journalist yesterday. I guess they got a taste of MMA and liked it. "ProElite officials have advised us that they will not be able to put on the EliteXC event scheduled for exhibition on Showtime on November 8. In view of Showtime's leadership role in sports programming, including boxing and mixed martial arts, we intend to explore other opportunities."

Observations from My Couch: ShoXC 10/10

• A Brazilian whose nickname is "Tractor" lost to a man whose last name sounds an awful lot like "beer bong"... Sorry, I got nothing.
• Alexander Shlemenko took the best Bubba McDaniel had to offer on the ground, and in the closing seconds of the first round the Russian planted a flying knee into McDaniel's ribs that left him writhing in pain on the floor of the cage for quite some time. In fact, according to reports, McDaniels was writhing in pain on the dance floor at the after party, and his writhing continued long after he checked out of the fighters' hotel the next day.
• Jason Guida looked very impressive pushing that much smaller referee. Since his career in MMA doesn't seem to be working out, perhaps Guida might find success as a schoolyard bully.
• Kerry Schall may have lost to Dave Herman via TKO in just a little over a minute, but it was a moral victory for the man known as "Meat Truck". After all, he did not get kneed or kicked in the groin, nor did he fall out of the ring and onto a folding chair.

Tonight's ShoXC to Feature More Bribes and Fixed Fights

MMA Journalist has just received a fax from an EliteXC insider regarding tonight's ShoXC event in Hammond, Indiana. The event, which will be broadcast live on Showtime, will feature Dave Herman taking on TUF veteran Kerry Schall, as well as bouts with TUF washout Jason Guida and rising stars Anthony Lapsley and Bubba McDaniel. The fax - deemed to be credible as this source (which will remained unnamed) is a reliable one - seems to list the "under the table" bribes the competitors are receiving to ensure a specific performance. The list is as follows:

• Herman will be paid an additional $5,000 to not reveal why he is called "PeeWee" on national television.
• Schall will be paid an additional $2,000 if he promises to not offer Herman ride in his "Meat Truck".
• Guida will be paid an additional $10,000 if he successfully keeps his scrotum hidden from view.
• Lapsely will receive $500 worth of marijuana if he passes his post-fight drug screening.
• McDaniel will be given a real first name if victorious. Come on, "Bubba"? Seriously?

Observations from My Couch: ShoXC 9/26

• Erik Apple handily defeated the game Matt Makowski via rear naked choke in the second round. As a consolation to Makowski, Apple allegedly gave him two porn stars at the afterparty.
• Jaime Jara, bedecked in a variety of tattoos that includes the word "hate" across his chest, out-pointed Giva Santana for the win. Jara will now return to his full-time job running a day care center for young children.
• Malipet is living proof that Thais with one name are serious badasses on the feet. He's also living proof that Thais with one name suck on the ground.
• Wilson Reis went five rounds with Abel Cullum to snag the EliteXC Bantamweight Championship. After the event, Reis dragged the belt back to his burrow, where it will sit with his winter supply of acorns and nuts.

Wholesome Matt Makowski to Battle Unsavory Erik Apple at ShoXC

Richie Cunningham. Sir Lancelot. Jesus. History is full of virtuous men, men who've made their mark on the world while staying true to all that is pure and good. Now MMA has one such man in wholesome Philadelphia welterweight Matt Makowski. A Muay Thai specialist with a very solid ground game, Makowski has a taken out the likes of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belts Nick Serra and Julio Cruz - all while holding fast to the morals so lacking in society today. By contrast, the unsavory Erik Apple, who often consorts with pornographic movie stars when not frequenting dens of sin, is everything Makowski is not, which should make for an interesting clash when the two meet at the upcoming ShoXC. Who will triumph when good battles evil? Who wins when "Mr. Nice Guy" faces "Mr. Promiscuous"? ShoXC's upcoming event airs live on Showtime on Friday, September 26th, and will also feature an eagerly-anticipated EliteXC Bantamweight Championship match-up between Wilson Reis and Abel Cullum.