Fabricio Werdum Cut From the UFC; the World Mourns

The world is in mourning today with the news that Fabricio Werdum, a Brazilian heavyweight and jiu-jitsu black belt, was cut from the UFC's roster. The purported reason behind his exit is said to have been contractual in nature, driven in no small part by the Chute Boxe fighter's shocking upset loss to Junior dos Santos at UFC 90. Werdum's career highlights included TKO wins over Brandon Vera and Gabriel Gonzaga in the Octagon, and Pride victories over Aleksander Emelianenko and Alistair Overeem. Said UFC Chief Executioner Dana White, "I know I'm not alone in feeling like we've lost a good friend today... Say, do you want to be fucking fighter?" Werdum leaves behind an ill-conceived heavyweight tournament and a disgustingly-anemic weight class. In lieu of flowers, the UFC prefers fans to make a cash donation to the "Give the UFC Your Money" charity.